help... don't really know how to take this...

[Bertha Venation]

The brother of friend at work killed himself last year. The friend, A., has become involved as a result with Out Of The Darkness, a non-profit that educates people about, among other things, warning signs of imminent suicide.

A. posted a fund-raising "pledge for my walk" (the walk's in DC in October) thing in the breakroom. I pledged a flat sum of $75.

She came to my desk and said "Oh, no you don't, I won't accept that much from you."

She said she'll feel lucky if she gets little donations of $5 - $10. I asked if she was mad (because I've now shown up her expectations -- and now, shown up everyone else who might've donated).

She said, "yeah, a little, because I know you can't afford that."
:wtf:

I told her (in short), "It's my problem what I can & can't afford, not yours. If you want, I'll write you a check for $10. Then I'll go to the event web site and donate $65 in your brother's name."

I am so confused. What the hell am I supposed to think? Weee-yerd....

[truthspeaker]

1. tell her this

That her questioning your financial situation has made you so depressed you're thinking about killing yourself.

OK, don't really tell her that.

[trotsky]

3. Man, that's tasteless.

And that's what makes it so funny! LOL!!

[Bertha Venation]

9. Luckily, I actually seem to have something of a sense of humor today.

Otherwise, god knows what my response would've been! Poor Truthseeker would've ended up in a bag of fried pork rinds. Crispy critter. :D

[truthspeaker]

12. I know, I'm terrible.

That set-up was too perfect.

Reminds me of a scene from the old show "Barney Miller":

Miller (on telephone): "You gotta have a sense of humor in a job like this!"

Miller: "Yes, sir, I definitely can keep it to myself."

[soothsayer]

10. <groan> wouldn't have expected anything less from someone with so

similar a moniker...!

[MissMillie]

2. She's just trying to be considerate

I'm sure she appreciates your willingness to help.

[zanana]

4. She's trying to be considerate.

Sounds like she hates asking people for money. I wouldn't take it as anything but a compliment, because she's looking out for you.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. Tell her to mind her own damned business...

It was good cause and you figured you could pay less this month for clothes or not eat out a few times. It's a sacrifice you're willing to pay to help save someone from him or her self.
Duckie

[meegbear]

6. Your response was perfect ...

Just do what you said and leave it at that.

[Bertha Venation]

7. I've appreciated everyone's input (and don't worry

Truthseeker, I know you were kidding).

Meegbear, this is dead-on. I will do exactly this.

I told A. that if she wanted to, she could white-out my donation so the chincy others she expects won't be scared away. Her expectations are so low, and people usually get what they expect . . . . bummer.

[flamingyouth]

8. Yeah, it really was perfect

And I want to thank you personally for your efforts on this behalf. It's my new pet cause, as you can imagine. So thanks, Bertha, for your generosity! :hug:

[Bertha Venation]

15. if only i could turn back the clock

Maybe if I'd seen the clues, my mom would still be here. 'Course, I was only eleven. What could I have done?

I bet a lot of us knows someone who took his/her own life. :(

[flamingyouth]

16. Well, I don't know what I could have done to save my husband

I think he was on a mission of self-destruction for years. I begged him to get help, to see a counselor, to try meds, something. But to no avail. I really wish I could make sense of it. He didn't leave a note or anything. We're all still reeling from it, frankly.

I'm really sorry about your mother. I just can't imagine going through that at such a young age.:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

17. it seems a helluva lot more manageable than losing one's husband

Maybe that sounds crass, but I really didn't know what was going on. I remember the moment he told us, and the funeral, and people from church bringing dishes of food, and that's about it.

Losing a spouse to death is bad enough but . . . jesus, FY. How you have coped is beyond my imagination. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

18. We're all a lot stronger than we can ever imagine

We just don't know it until we're tested. That's all I can figure out. I'm blessed with amazing family and friends, and of course this wonderful group of people on DU. I don't know what I would have done without being able to talk about it here, to be honest. :hug:

[Jo March]

11. Had she kept her mouth shut

she may have gotten more in donations. People in the office would have seen the very nice donation of $75 and may have been inspired to give more.

You are very generous. If you want to give $75 to my charity (which I am in the process of starting), I wouldn't be so crass as to turn it down. I'd give you a big kiss!

[Bertha Venation]

14. What's your charity?!

I'm a sucker -- I mean, I try to be generous....

[Jo March]

20. It's not "official" yet

It's called The Flowers Foundation and it will help people with depression get treatment if they can't afford it. I suffer from depression myself and there is a woeful lack of financial support out there for people who need treatment, medication, help paying the bills, etc.

I'm paying for the atty to set up the charity but the rest I'm doing myself - designing the website, developing the mailing lists, writing the letters, doing the accounting - to hold down the costs.

I feel as though I work for the man and accomplish nothing of worth. This lets me do some good and make a difference.

[truthspeaker]

13. Maybe she feels guilty about asking people for money

I know I do whenever I try to raise pledges for a charity bike ride.

[AmandaRuth]

19. for some people, it is harder to accept than it is to

actually give. It may indeed be guilt on her part, or just that she is the type of person who finds it easier to give then receive.