Cheese?

[rlev1223]

An earlier "France" thread got me thinking about cheeses --
the French ones mainly . Anybody else like fromage...what kinds?

[wolfgirl]

1. & crackers, sil'vous plais!

[Magrittes Pipe]

2. Every kind.

From the freshest, mildest chevres to the oldest, most jock-strap-smellingest ripe muensters and bleus.

[LynzM]

Cheese, please!

I love many kinds of cheese.... not such a fan of blue and those older types, but many of the harder cheeses, and I miss being able to get good Gouda anywhere. Newest favorite is havardi... that is good stuff!

Cheese and bread, cheese and crackers, cheese and wine, cheese and cheese :bounce:

[LynzM]

3. Oops, dupe

I hate it when that happens!

[rlev1223]

10. Gouda stuff

There's a traditional Gouda cheesemaker in So. California called Winchester Farms...they don't sell in stores I think, mainly at farmers markets. Some of the best cheeses I have ever had. They have regular, superaged (my favorite) and flavored versions (cumin, etc.)

I think you can find them on-line.. not cheap, but worth it.

[LynzM]

13. Ooh, I will have to keep that in mind

I'd love to get some of that, but somehow cheese doesn't make top financial priority right now. :( Wish it could, though!

[Kellanved]

4. Langres

or Chaource,
Epoisse,
Munster,
Neufchatel,
Jurassic,
Roquefort,
...

too many to list

[rlev1223]

8. Epoisses

Maybe the best and most addictive. Some people get overpowered by the, uh, farm-fresh smell but I can eat a whole (small) wheel....which is why my cholesterol went from 200 to 250 in a year....so I'm off the stuff for the moment

[pagerbear]

5. Now would be a good time

...for someone to post a transcript of the Monty Python cheese shop skit.

[jmowreader]

19. As you requested

Monty Python's Flying Circus - "Cheese Shop"
< from Monty Python's Flying Circus, third season, first shown 30.11.1972 >

The Players:
John Cleese - Mousebender;
Michael Palin - Wensleydale;

The Scene:
An Edwardian-style shop which carries the signs:
'Ye Olde Cheese Emporium'; 'Henry Wensleydale, Purveyor of Fine Cheese to the Gentry and the Poverty Stricken Too';
'Licensed for Public Dancing';
Two men dressed as city gents are Greek dancing in the corner to the music of a bouzouki.
Mousebender enters.

MOUSEBENDER: Good Morning.

WENSLEYDALE: Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium.

MOUSEBENDER: Ah, thank you my good man.

WENSLEYDALE: What can I do for you, sir?

MOUSEBENDER: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmond Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herries by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

WENSLEYDALE: Peckish, sir?

MOUSEBENDER: Esurient.

WENSLEYDALE: Eh?

MOUSEBENDER: (In a broad Yorkshire accent)  Eee I were all hungry, like.

WENSLEYDALE: Ah, hungry.

MOUSEBENDER: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'. So I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles.

WENSLEYDALE: Come again?

MOUSEBENDER: I want to buy some cheese.

WENSLEYDALE: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player.

MOUSEBENDER: Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse.

WENSLEYDALE: Sorry?

MOUSEBENDER: (In a broad Yorkshire accent)  Ooo, I like a nice tune - you're forced to.

WENSLEYDALE: So he can go on playing, can he?

MOUSEBENDER: Most certainly. Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

WENSLEYDALE: Certainly, sir. What would you like?

MOUSEBENDER: Well, eh, how about a little Red Leicester?

WENSLEYDALE: I'm afraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Oh never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

WENSLEYDALE: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir. We get it fresh on Monday.

MOUSEBENDER: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

WENSLEYDALE: Ah. It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. I was expecting it this morning.

MOUSEBENDER: It's not my lucky day, is it? Er, Bel Paese?

WENSLEYDALE: Sorry, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Red Windsor?

WENSLEYDALE: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

MOUSEBENDER: Ah. Stilton?

WENSLEYDALE: Sorry.

MOUSEBENDER: Emmental? Gruyère?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Any Norwegian Jarlsberger, per chance?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Liptauer?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Lancashire?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: White Stilton?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Danish Blue?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Double Gloucester?

WENSLEYDALE: ..... No.

MOUSEBENDER: Cheshire?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Dorset Blue Vinney?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Évêque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Bresse-Bleu, Boursin?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Camembert, perhaps?

WENSLEYDALE: Ah! We have Camembert, yes sir.

MOUSEBENDER: You do! Excellent.

WENSLEYDALE: Yes, sir. It's, ah ..... it's a bit runny.

MOUSEBENDER: Oh, I like it runny.

WENSLEYDALE: Well, it's very runny, actually, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: No matter. Fetch hither le fromage de la Belle France! M-mmm!

WENSLEYDALE: I think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

WENSLEYDALE: Oh .....

MOUSEBENDER: What now?

WENSLEYDALE: The cat's eaten it.

MOUSEBENDER: Has he?

WENSLEYDALE: She, sir. (pause)

MOUSEBENDER: Gouda?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Edam?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Caithness?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Smoked Austrian?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Japanese Sage Darby?

WENSLEYDALE: No, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: You do have some cheese, do you?

WENSLEYDALE: Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got .....

MOUSEBENDER: No, no, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

WENSLEYDALE: Fair enough.

MOUSEBENDER: Er, Wensleydale?

WENSLEYDALE: Yes?

MOUSEBENDER: Ah, well, I'll have some of that.

WENSLEYDALE: Oh, I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mr Wensleydale, that's my name. (pause)

MOUSEBENDER: Greek Feta?

WENSLEYDALE: Ah, not as such.

MOUSEBENDER: Er, Gorgonzola?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Parmesan?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Mozzarella?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Pippo Crème?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Danish Fimboe?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Czech sheep's milk?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?.

WENSLEYDALE: Not today, sir, no. (pause)

MOUSEBENDER: Ah, how about Cheddar?

WENSLEYDALE: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Not much ca- It's the single most popular cheese in the world!

WENSLEYDALE: Not round here, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: And what is the most popular cheese round here?

WENSLEYDALE: Ilchester, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Is it.

WENSLEYDALE: Oh yes, sir. It's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

MOUSEBENDER: Is it.

WENSLEYDALE: It's our number-one best seller, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: I see. Ah, Ilchester, eh?

WENSLEYDALE: Right, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: All right. Okay. Have you got any, he asked expecting the answer no?

WENSLEYDALE: I'll have a look, sir ..... nnnnnnooooooooo.

MOUSEBENDER: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

WENSLEYDALE: Finest in the district, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

WENSLEYDALE: Well, it's so clean, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

WENSLEYDALE: You haven't asked me about Limberger, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Is it worth it?

WENSLEYDALE: Could be.

MOUSEBENDER: Have you- SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!

WENSLEYDALE: (To dancers)  Told you so.

MOUSEBENDER: Have you got any Limburger?

WENSLEYDALE: No.

MOUSEBENDER: That figures. Predictable really, I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:

WENSLEYDALE: Yes, sir?

MOUSEBENDER: Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?

WENSLEYDALE: Yes, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Really? (pause)

WENSLEYDALE: No. Not really, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: You haven't.

WENSLEYDALE: No, sir, not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

WENSLEYDALE: Right-O, sir.

MOUSEBENDER: (Shoots him)  What a senseless waste of human life.

[arbusto_baboso]

6. Great. Now you've got me thinking about..

Wallace and Grommit.

[calico1]

7. I don't care for

American cheese or parmesan, or that real stinky limburger. Other than that I pretty much love every kind!

[Beaverhausen]

9. I'm a big fan of Jarlsberg- but love all cheese

Gruyere is great in quiche
or anything with eggs.

Lots of cheeses I have heard about but haven't tried.

it is binding though so I have to watch it...

[rlev1223]

12. Cheese link

Edit for correct link --

This has lots of info -- its in French, but
not hard to understand with some simple words --
vache, chevre, brebis
etc

http://www.francefromage.com/m32_encyclopedie_tous.asp

[rlev1223]

15. sorry - posted without the link here it is

http://www.francefromage.com/m32_encyclopedie_tous.asp

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

11. CHEEESE GROMIT!!!!!!

[jpgray]

14. All kinds, but I like gorgonzola and other strong-tasting cheeses (nt)

[rlev1223]

16. I never like "blue cheese" until

I went to France about 12 years ago and a cheese plate
included a slice of real Roquefort. Loved it immediately, ate it all
after climbing back in my chair.

It's just a little slimier than gorganzola, stronger but similar.
They call it the King of Cheeses, but I think lots of others claim that title as well.

I think gorganzola is better in salads, it crumbles easier.

[Beaverhausen]

18. Gorgonzola makes amazing sauce for pasta

yum!!!

[NashVegas]

17. Roquefort

in small doses

and Cabot's Select Sharp Cheddar

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

20. The ones I like most are not French

Ementhal, Gorgonzola.

[rlev1223]

21. Mais, si c'est français!

Emmental, (semi soft swiss type cheese used in fondue, etc)
is made both in the French part of Switzerland and in
the Franche-Comté part of France which borders it.

Salut.