I just hurt myself changing clothes - it's a fact

[flamingyouth]

Who's a bigger klutz than I?

I had been wearing shorts and a t-shirt, but I'm getting ready to go take notes for a volunteer organization in an hour. So I thought I'd change into a nice sun dress, something a little more respectable.

Anyway, I was putting the dress over my head, I managed to step on it, and I tripped, then I slammed my forehead against the door jamb of my bedroom.

Can anyone out there top that in terms of sheer clumsiness? I challenge you! It still hurts. I'm sure I'll have a bruise from it.

[eyesroll]

1. Me! Me! Me!

I cut my finger answering my office phone.

I got a big ole' bruise on my hip from getting into bed (smacked it on the footboard).

[proud patriot]

2. I do stuff like that all the time

:crazy:

[Guy Fawkes]

See, I've done something like that...

but then again, it was the first time I had ever put on a dress. And the last, thanks to the painfull memory.

[skygazer]

3. My boyfriend

Who somehow managed to sprain his ankle while he was asleep.

[flamingyouth]

4. OK, you've got me

Must. Hear. This. Story. :D

[skygazer]

10. No story really

He went to bed one night and woke up the next morning and could barely walk. Sprained ankle. My only explanation is that maybe he was thrashing around dreaming and got tangled up in the bedding. I wouldn't know because I can sleep through anything - fire, flood, earthquake.

[flamingyouth]

14. That's really weird

Much better than my story of how I was walking down the street, thinking, and broke my foot in three places.

[skygazer]

18. Well........

That's pretty wierd, too!

[flamingyouth]

19. Taught me to never think

;)

[Misunderestimator]

53. When I lived in NYC I walked into an open grate on the sidewalk...

...one moment my friend was talking to me and looking at me, and the next I was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately, no injuries.

[jab105]

5. 2 days ago, I was going to caulk my tub...

I stepped into the tub with the caulk, and slammed my toe, hard into the metal rail at the bottom...then realized that I had to open the caulk first, so I got out of the tub, went into the kitchen, and opened it with a knife...and got caulk on the knife, so I quickly put the knife in the sink to clean off...rubbing it with my thumb and finger, well, my thumb slipped, and I promptly sliced open my thumb with an incredibly sharp knife...and proceeded to bleed everywhere as I limped back to the bathroom to fix up my thumb...

I thought that was pretty bad:)

[Richardo]

6. I walked full speed into the bathroom wall the other night...

...it was dark, admittedly, but we've lived in the house for over 10 years and I know the route between the bedroom door and the bathroom pretty well (or so I thought). :eyes:

[xchrom]

7. i have fallen over and hit the floor

putting on my underwear.
beat that!:silly:

[Guy Fawkes]

9. I did that last night...

and I've done it taking off my shirt. (same night :( I suck...)

[Wickerman]

8. Once I was really hungover, in the shower

swaying gently back and forth in time to the painful beat in my head, when I rocked too hard forward and smashed my mouth into the shower head.

I am tall, the shower was short,a nd I wound up cutting the edge of skin off the top of one of my front teeth. It rounded out perfectly...

It fucking hurt! And was painful when I chewed, when I drank more - though the alcohol had a numbing effect...

Good luck - may I suggest not driving today? :evilgrin:

[Richardo]

11. I'm sorry, but that's one of the funnier things I've read in a while...

Nicely written!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

12. I got your back

this morning, at work, (I work in a room all by myself), I was trying to get out a wedgie but it was a THIGH wedgie (where the underwear got caught between my thigh and body) and my hand slipped and I slammed my wrist into the desk (solid wood desk) so hard, it is now swollen and purple.

A wedgie fixing accident! Top that!

By the way, yours made me laugh out loud!

[Taverner]

13. I hurt myself doing a Joe Cocker impression

Not as klutzy, but it was funny to watch...

[CO Liberal]

15. Kingman, Arizona - April 1995....

Mrs. CO Liberal and I were moving from Henerson, NV to Pueblo, CO - we were driving a Hertz/Penske truck, with my wife's Plymouth Sundance on a tow dolly. Because of bad weather, we stopped at Kingman and rented a motel room.

I pulled the truck into two parking spaces, brought our luggage into the room, and took the Sundance off the dolly so I could go to a Chinese restaurant we saw a few blocks away. I figured that I could put the car back on the dolly in the morning.

In the morning we packed our stuff back in to the truck, checked out, and headed for a vacant lot I saw a few blocks from the motel - I drove the truck, my wife drove the Sundance.

I got out of the truck and went to put the ramps down on the tow dolly - this required me to pull on a lever. It was stuck - when I finally got the lever to move, I cut my thumb on a sharp edge.

I told my wife to stand behind the truck to guide me on to the dolly, and got into the Sundance. I started the engine, and remembered something I wanted to tell her. I went to stick my head out the window, but it was closed. I hit my head against the window TWICE before I thought to roll the window down.

So there I was in Kingman, Arizona - with a bleeding thumb, a splitting headache, and a wife who was laughing so hard she almost peed her pants...

[edbermac]

16. Thank God you're not a guy and it didn't involve your zipper....

:hurts:

[radwriter0555]

17. I kicked the dog and dislocated my kneecap. Ended up in the hospital.

Flipped my hair once when a hot guy walked by. Threw my neck out.

[MrSandman]

20. Ouch..eom

[GOPisEvil]

21. I swear I'm laughing WITH you!

I hope you're better. :-)

[flamingyouth]

31. Actually, I do have a bump on my head

But thanks for laughing at, I mean, WITH me! :D

[Placebo]

22. When I was putting on shorts once

I somehow put one foot into the leg that already had a leg in it! and i stumbled backwards into a door and then sideways into a mirror.

Yea... :dunce:

[dolo amber]

23. I tore my ACL

last year reaching across my bed to get my coat. :D

I was *prescribed* ballet, gymnastics, something, at age 4. After seeing me in his office or me having been seen in the ER for anything from a cracked skull (fell down concrete stairs) to a broken collar bone (fell over, just standing in the floor, watching telly :D), my doctor told my parents to get me into some *coordination building* activity, post haste. Lest the 'thorities come for them. :D

(PS - Hope your bump is better. :*)

[Blue-Jay]

24. Baahahahahaha!

Not sure why I'm laughing... I once got my toe stuck in a large roll of paper, lost my balance, and it broke as I fell.

[eyesroll]

29. Was it toilet paper?

Because that would be far funnier.

[fujiyama]

25. Almost every time

I go out and drink, the following morning I realize I cut myself or bruised myself in some way.

[Skittles]

26. GOOD LORD FLAMINGYOUTH

I WILL COME OVER TO KICK YOUR ASS AND TEACH YOU HOW TO DRESS. And NO, Matcom, you CAN'T WATCH. :7

[flamingyouth]

30. LOL - I could use some help, Skittles!

We'll just invite a select group of DUers to watch. And no, Matcom, you can't come! :D

[Xithras]

27. Heh,

Five years ago a coworker and I were investigating a network failure at work when we decided to pull the ladder out and check a cable run on the roof that linked two of our buildings. We went up, inspected, and after determining that the cables were OK, went to go back down. The building had a sunken roof style where the outer walls extended above the actual rooftop, so I walked up to the wall and swung myself over onto the ladder.

The only problem was that I'd missed the ladder by about 15 feet and swung myself into empty air. Thank goodness it was only a one story building...I fell 10 feet onto a car parked in the lot below, breaking my right ankle, spraining my left, and knocking myself out as the back of my head cracked the cars windshield.

As a general rule, it's always a good idea to verify a ladders placement before stepping onto it. :dunce:

[DrMath]

28. Grim FReepers

Wow, FR was making fun of this thread and then started a thread of the same topic:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1194285/posts

[flamingyouth]

32. Wow! I've been mocked by freepers!

This is my most favorite day ever!

Hey, I may be clumsy, but I'm oh so much smarter than any of those dumbasses! :7

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

37. Actually it looks like they

started telling stories of their own!

BITERS!

:evilgrin:

[flamingyouth]

38. Well, we all do our own clumsy things

So, heh heh heh. :D

I guess it might prove, after all, that freepers are human too.

[BigBigBear]

33. I was going to send you a PM ...

....to ask how you were doing, but I think you just answered my question.

[flamingyouth]

35. Um, other than this, I'm doing okay

How are YOU, though? :)

I have been thinking of you. I suppose life gets a bit easier. Or at least that is what people keep telling me, so maybe I'm forcing myself to believe it. :)

[BigBigBear]

43. I gave up listening to pretty much everyone else

and just keep it to myself.

I did a story on Los Lobos for this week's paper, I'll send you a link when it runs.

[Mara Steele]

34. There is an easy solution to that problem...

You must immediately cease wearing clothes altogether!



Problem solved!

Next?

:D

[flamingyouth]

I would have really attracted attention at today's meeting

As it was, they already wanted me to chair a committee. Imagine if I'd been unclothed. It could have been worse! :P

[Mara Steele]

40. They would have REALLY wanted you, then!!

Hey, I know all about that yoga butt of yours...

:evilgrin:

But seriously, Lisa. If you were a nudist, you would be OKAY right now.

Instead, now you have terrible injuries!

Really, tell me which is the better alternative?

:shrug:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[DeposeTheBoyKing]

39. This sounds like something only I could do

I generally just fall over while trying to put on my shoes or something. I did somehow careen forward and bash my forehead on the shower stall the other day - how'd THAT happen? I'm glad you're okay!

[flamingyouth]

41. Thanks!

I was never known for my skill and grace! :D

[Lefta Dissenter]

42. I have a friend who

recently had to cancel his trip to Ireland because on the morning that they were to leave, he totally trashed his back. When I asked him how he did it, he had to confess that he had done it clipping his toenails. :eyes:

In middle school, I fell off my crutches and broke my hand.

[Zomby Woof]

44. ZombyHug for your bruise

:loveya:

[flamingyouth]

45. Thank you

I feel like an idiot, but I'm so thrilled that I've been mocked by freepers! Maybe they'd like to debate me on history, anatomy, astronomy, art history, music, anything! :P

:loveya:

[Zomby Woof]

46. or Quincy trivia!

;-)

[flamingyouth]

47. MAYHEM!

They dare not! :D

[davsand]

48. OK--I'll tell on myself...

I was driving into the grocery store for a quick stop for something--and spilled a Diet Coke in the car seat--all over my white shorts. I was getting out of the car while hubby was making fun of me for the big brown stain on my butt.

I turned around to say something smart to him and promptly tripped over a curb and fell into a flower bed--scratching up my legs on the shrubs and then adding a large mud stain to the center of the brown one on my butt.

I stood up, picked the worst of the debris off my legs and climbed out of the flower bed. (I was DETERMINED!) As I crossed the drive, I could hear hubby shrieking in laughter from inside the car. I'm muttering really rude things about asshole husbands with no freaking sympathy for anything.

Visualize this:

I've fallen into a flower bed. I'm walking into a grocery store with a huge wet brown stain on the butt of my white shorts (with a darker mud stain in the center of it) and bloody scratches running down my legs. I'm talking to myself, cussing like a trucker. I look up and spot a homeless guy with a cast on his foot sitting outside the store watching me and falling over because he's laughing so hard.

Yep, I should have been named Grace.


Laura

[MrSandman]

50. After all of that,

I would have hoped hubby would have offered to go in the store for you.

Did you get what you stopped for?

[davsand]

52. I did--and there were NO thanks to him or the homeless guy!

It was an emergency, you see--this was when our daughter was still in diapers--and we HAD to have more!!!


Laura

[MrSandman]

54. Didn't they deserve....

:spank:

[kodi]

49. dear, it sounds best for your safety that you go around buck nekkid

and from experience, take it from me, wear an apron if you're boiling water.

[Misunderestimator]

51. Wow... you could compete with me in klutziness

I once went to the bathroom in the middle of the night... and after having worried for months about the logistics of the towel bar directly in front of the toilet, I bumped my head on it... in the morning I found myself with a black eye. Fortunately, it followed the contour of my eye, and looked like purple eyeshadow, so I matched it and colored my other eye... I just got comments afterward about how nice I looked wearing makeup... LOL

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

55. Something I'll never forget

When I worked at a Wichita hospital in the early 1990s, our office had a small refrigerator stocked with pop (yes, I call it "pop," good Midwesterner that I am!). One day a colleague, Karen, was squatting to load more cans in said refrigerator. A can of Pepsi fell out and somehow sprang a leak. Like a predatory beast, it rolled after her as she backed away, spraying pop in her face and hair and all over the ceiling. I was fortunate enough to be standing behind her and saw the entire incident. I still roll on the floor laughing when I think about it! You definitely had to be there to appreciate it.

[ze_dscherman]

56. I was in love with that girl from a neighbouring town

and was accompanying her to the railway station, walking down a road very early on a Monday morning, holding hands and talking the sweeeet things one talks after a wonderful night

...






when I crashed hard against a lamp post.

[dancing kali]

57. Let's see...

I tripped over a pile of laundry I was sorting when I returning from answering the phone... no that doesn't do it...

I landed on my own toe when I was coming down from being lifted by my dance partner in a rehearsal... it took three months to heal... no, not that one...

I was talking to someone, turned around and walked straight on into the doorjamb... closer... still not klutzy enough...

I know... I was putting up event fencing for a show, the only sledge hammer available was on the other side of the site... we were putting up the ubiquitous rental chain fence. One of the support posts was not anchored very well and I wanted to pound it in another 6 to 12 inches. As I said, the only sledge on site was over on the other side of the field. Being a clever little techie, I look around and pick up the world's oldest tool - a big rock. "Stand back", I say to others standing nearby... after all - Safety first. I raise my arm (the post is sticking out of the ground a bit over 6 feet... I am 5 1/2 feet tall). Pound once, twice and the rock slips out of my hand and clocks me a good one on top of my head. No concussion - I was fine... save for the bruised ego... there were witnesses to this. The amusing side story to this is that this occurred the day after I had dyed my hair to match my costume and this included blond streaks. So to sum all of that up... I dyed my hair blond and dropped a rock on my own head.

How's that?

[Gothic Sponge]

58. Sorry to hear!

I'm 6'5" and i always bump my head on my basement ceiling beams. I've lived in this house for almost 5 years, and i still forget to duck.

[REP]

59. I Can Top That

I've completely dislocated my shoulder sleeping. Alone.

I've dislocated my shoulder completely out of joint by gesturing. Not *that* gesture.

I've completely dislocated my elbow repeatedly by doing nothing in particular.

I've dislocated my hips, erm, in bed not alone.

I've nearly severed my thumb adjusting a fan.

I've accidentally dropped more knives than I can count point-down on my feet.

I've broken nearly all my toes at least once by walking into furniture in my own home that wasn't in a new position.

[truthspeaker]

60. Next time let me help you change your clothes!

j/k