Let's do another "Name fictitious SUV models" contest!

[Bossy Monkey]

In other words, come up with a more appropriate name for SUVs or for any given SUV, say, the Cartrick instead of the Hummer. As the fundraiser seems to be going to heck (Psssssst! They always seem to be going to heck at this stage), if somebody starless but impecunious comes up with something especially brilliant, I'll donate to DUin your name.

Mine? The Snipecatcher. Think about it.:)

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. I can think of a few

Assuming the fictitious names should be tied to the charateristics of their real world models -

Ford Explorer - Ford Rollover
Ford Expedition - Ford petrolgobbler
Ford Excursion - Ford Littleweepeepee

Hummer - The Fuck You Mobile

GMC Suburban - GMC Kidsquisher

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

11. hummer

That's a great name for the hummer! B-)

[guitar man]

2. hehe

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
Smells like a steak, and seats thirty five?
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Hey, hey!
Twelve yards long, two lanes wide,
Sixty five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero!
Whoa, Canyonero! Whoa!

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. illegal for road driving in 50 states

LOL

Gotta love The Simpsons

[Liberal Veteran]

3. The Ford Deep Space 9

All the room of a space station and takes twice the fuel to run.

[Padraig18]

5. The 'Mammoth'

The 'Glutton' just isn't as catchy... ;)

[NewHampshireDem]

6. The new Ford "Mammon" ...

Gives you all you richly deserve for one small price ... your soul!

To be followed next year by the Dodge Creosus.

[Chovexani]

7. The Maibatsu Monstrosity

First ad:

Man: "I'm a marketing manager who lives in the suburbs and commutes to work on the highway. I live alone, so of course I needed a car that can seat 12 and is equipped to drive across arctic tundra...it just makes me feel better!"

Female announcer: "The new Maibatsu Monstrosity...mine's bigger!"

Second ad:

Woman: "Phil and I just had another kid. So of course we need a bigger SUV. Being a mom is hard, with soccer, football and lacrosse practice, so we bought the new Maibatsu Monstrosity. It's so big...we lost little Joey in the back and couldn't find him for and hour! When I'm rushing to the mall, or talking on my cell phone, I know me and my family are safe. The Maibatsu Monstrosity has 4- wheel drive, and in amphibious mode...it can cross rivers. So far I've only hit a few puddles, but it's good to know it's there. With the time I save taking shortcuts through the strip-mall parking lot I can focus on the important things. Like gazing longingly at the pool boy or...buying more exercise equipment off the TV. So what if it gets 3 miles to the gallon!? I'm a mom, not a conservationist!"

Female announcer: "The new Maibatsu Monstrosity...mine's bigger!!"


From one of the most brilliant social satires ever done, Grand Theft Auto 3.

[Beware the Beast Man]

23. Damn, I was going to say that!

The Landstalker was okay, but I preferred the Patriot.

[Chovexani]

25. Those games are so hilarious.

My favorite is the BF Injector in Vice City. :evilgrin:

Seriously, if the Liebermans of the world would get off the tired bullshit about violence and hookers, they'd see just how biting some of the satire is in them. It's great, and more often than not it skews very liberal (though they poke fun very effectively at both sides).

Sometimes I like to just sit in a quiet spot and listen to the talk radio stations. The ones in Vice City are even better than Chatterbox--I love the bit on Pressing Issues with Alex Shrub.

Especially when you consider the mission you can get later in the game when you go spying on him. "Call me Martha", indeed. ;)

[Bluebear]

8. Testosterique

[Liberal Veteran]

9. Overcompensate by purchasing the new H3 Giant Penis Machine

Formerly known as the H2.

[DemWitch]

13. Look down on the other peons on the road with the all new

Cadillac Grand Global Trekker...

Advanced Norstar V-12 789 cubic inch producing 655 horsepower transfered to 6, yes 6 wheels to safely navigate curbs at Costco. 15126 pounds of blacktop crushing weight insures safety in any offset frontal crash. Standard under front bumper protector guides to insure smaller domestic and import vehicles slide under vehicle incase of collision to negate damage to 18 karat gold bumper, to be safely deposited at rear of vehicle. Interior comfort is assured by the use of 275 yards of rare China Panda leather on the 10 Captain Chair heated and cooled seating surfaces, and real freon in the HVAC system. None of that ozone friendly airconditioning stuff for us here at Caddy, oh no no no. To aid in passenger comfort, everyseat has it's own CD/DVD system and Dell laptop with satellite uplink. Driver is not left out in the cold as in other lesser quality SUV's. Steering wheel boasts an industry first. A 19 inch plasma monitor with on the wheel controls. Monitor conveniently swings up for airbag deployment. Every Grand Global Trekker comes with it very own Cadillac Catera for emergency use, conveniently stowed atop the roof rack with easy swing davits for quick deployment.

So for the ultimate in Mine is bigger than yours, see your Cadillac dealer today and ask for a free test cruise of the all new Cadillac Grand Global Trekker.

EPA estimated milegage 2 mpg highway .35 mpg city

[jpgray]

10. Canyonero?

*whip sound*

[PittPoliSci]

20. "unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!"

:-)

[baldguy]

12. The Viagranator

[TroubleMan]

14. The Siphon

nt.

[name not needed]

15. The Conquistador

[Bossy Monkey]

16. Are you sure they didn't actually use this one?

I think it might have been an El Camino equivalent some time back there. Regardless, brilliantly ironic either way.

[kodi]

17. the Subaru Sumo

.

[MrSandman]

18. Is it a Grand Vitara or

A Grand Viagra?

[PittPoliSci]

19. The Engorger

Now with 5 ft. tires and battering ram. Perfect for family getaways in the middle of dark jungles. Why leave the comfort of suburbia at home when you go camping?

[DS1]

21. Cross Marketing! The Ford Enyte!

:evilgrin:
ROFL

[Bossy Monkey]

27. Well, they have a sponsor a NASCAR team in real life...

but that's a Chevy. I had thought those gd Smilin' Bob stock car commercials were a joke, but apparently the horror is real.

[Blue-Jay]

22. Canyonero!

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!

[miss_kitty]

24. The Crusader

i mean the consumption of oil? it's a natch imho...someone prolly came up with it in the first contest

[TroubleMan]

26. The Singularity (it's a point of infinite mass)

and it's smaller, "sportier" version The Event Horizon.

[Bossy Monkey]

28. The Winnah!

I liked your other one, too

[Noodleboy13]

29. New from Cadillac..

The Priapus.

Because everyone wants a big one.





Honk if you love Critical Mass
Noodleboy