The reason why Bread is the Worst. Band. Ever.

[coloradodem2005]

Baby I'm-A Want You

Title song from the 1972 album by Bread, which rose to number three on American charts.
To me, this song will always be the Platonic ideal of dumb-ass 1970s soft rock love ballads (though it has some stiff competition in "Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me" by Mac Davis). Love ballads express our deepest feelings, giving voice to those passions which we cannot adequately describe. And what Bread offers us to win our true love's heart is the smooooth line "Baby, I'm-a want you.".

Sure, okay, maybe they needed an extra syllable to make it fit right; I can dig that. But wouldn't something like "Girl, you know I want you" have done as well? Was the "baby" part so integral to the songwriter's vision that it had to be retained at all costs, thus making necessary the "I'm-a" part?

Singing this song to women as if you mean it tends to make them either laugh uncontrollably or flee from you as if you'd sprouted buboes, and thus it's very useful as a way of finding out if they're the kind of person you want to spend more time with.

http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1098213&lastnode_id=668164

[DivinBreuvage]

1. You are so full of hatred you must be a Republican. What about "Diary"?

This rollicking feel-good number gets my toes tappin' every time!

[coloradodem2005]

2. You dare to insult me by calling me a Republican?

Why I oughtta...
;)

But, it just ain't rocking. I can't stand that kind of music. I didn't write that writeup though. But I agree with it.

[JVS]

4. most obvious ad-hominem ever!

[DivinBreuvage]

10. Oops, sorry, guys, I forgot to include this:

MANDATORY SARCASM NOTICE: if you are a literal-minded and/or irony-challenged reader, you are hereby advised that the above commentary employs a rhetorical device known as "sarcasm" which does NOT convey the author's genuine opinion but the direct opposite thereof. Please address all correspondence to the "Huck Finn is a Racist Screed" institute.

Man, that slammin' beat is still in my head!

I found her diary underneath a tree
And started reading about me
The pages blurred and tears began to flow
I found the love that she'd been waiting for
Was someone else, not me
Wouldn't you know it
She wouldn't...

Sorry, got to go shoot myself now. If you haven't heard it, "Diary" is an extremely mellow and depressing song.

[tigereye]

25. that's cuz you are not a 14 year old girl

and it is not 1972. ( I am assuming)

You had to be there. Yes, Bread was scary, but at that age, I didn't know any better. :)

[DivinBreuvage]

27. well, you know how I am so familiar with this song, don't you?

I have the MP3 on my computer and I listen to it at work, along with "Honey" and lots of other sappy crap from that era They're like drugs.

My own secret shame as a teenage girl was (gawd) Darryl Hall.

[tigereye]

34. ah, I see

try Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog by Three Dog Night. Cooler. Same era. Not sure if it has the same "earworm" potential. :)

[Craig Roberts]

3. ...

I never thought in all my life I'd find myself defending Mac Davis, but I think it is really unfair of you to compare his music to the music of Bread. "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me" might be a really bad song, but it isn't Bread Bad.

I think you owe somebody an apology...

[General Zod]

9. Mac Davis! LOL!

The only good contribution he made to rock, was to write " In The Ghetto" for Elvis.

[tigereye]

26. welcome to DU

fellow Pirate fan!

[exJW]

5. In fairness, they did flesh out "baby I'm-a want you" with

"baby I'm-a need you". C'mon man, "you're the only one I care enough to hurt about" has to touch you somewhere deep inside??

But really, how could they have known that in just a few short years, the colloquialism "I'm-a" would almost exclusively be attached to the phrase "kick yo ASS"?

[JVS]

7. Which brings up the question is "i'm-a-want you" a future tense construct?

Does it mean "I'm going to want you" in the same manner as I'm-a-kick yo ass or I'm-a-bust a cap in your ass

[exJW]

the future use of I'm-a, used in the future vis a vi Bread

is a modern construct. Bread never thought for a second that "I'm-a" would ever be anything more than an iambic device.



<source> The Bread of Life, Bad Music for Good People (ultra-bantam lightweight publishing 1992)

lol, I should stop now, I'm in way over my head.

[miss_kitty]

6. oh shit. i wanted to get rid of the 'Gangster of love' earworm

but replacing it with 'Baby I'm-A Want You' :puke: rude. i could live twice again as long as i already have and would be perfectly content not to hear or think of the POS song or band again....curse you

[coloradodem2005]

12. I will help you with that earworm.

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Ma Coley plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

chorus

Someone's always playing corporation games
Who cares they're always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Ma Coley plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

chorus

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street
Well if you got the toco, oh, then we just lost the beat

Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who writes the wrecking ball in two wild guitars
Don't tell us you need us, 'cause we're just simple fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools

(I'm looking out over that Golden Gate bridge
Out on a gorgeous sunny Saturday, I've seen that low amount of traffic)

Don't you remember (remember)

(Here's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city
The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps)

Ma Coley plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

chorus repeats 2x

(We built, we built this city) built this city (we built, we built this city)
(repeats out)

[miss_kitty]

15. i'm sure this is bad and famous...BUT I DON"T KNOW IT!!!!!

i checked out in the 70's and started listening to jazz because 'music' so totally chewed...i quit listening to mainstream radio....

oh my god not 'i am woman' oh shit :puke: :puke: :puke:

[coloradodem2005]

16. We Built this City by Starship.

#1 most awesomely bad song ever.

[miss_kitty]

18. glad to have missed itbecause if i'd ever heard it no doubt

it'd be stuck there with i am woman, indian reservation, ruby don't take your love to town, honey, little green apples, gitarzan, smoke that cigarette, the shrimpboats, hillbilly heaven, tie a yellow ribbon, that beachboy animal sounds song, anything by cher, anything by cheryl crow...i am exhausted...i have got a cacaphony of shite swirling around the toilet bowl of my musical mind

[carpetbagger]

39. Make way for the mother earworm lode...

Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
doin' the town and doin' it right
in the evenin', it's pretty pleasin'

[mahatmakanejeeves]

8. Uh-oh. Here Comes Trouble

You know, there are several contenders for that "honor."

Perfect Sound Forever: THE WORST MUSICAL REFUSE OF THE 1970s

I mean, look at this list. Where do you begin? Also, I happen to like some of the songs they have selected as losers. I can handle Abba. Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" - great tune.

Wait; it gets worse. I like a lot of disco, especially Donna Summer.

Bring 'em on.

[69KV]

14. The best part of that website

The hate mail section:

"On the other hand, the nihilistic, self-destructive, atonal, arrhythmic, irrational, angst-ridden wailing and moaning of spoiled, disaffected, high school dropouts with a fetish for puncturing themselves, is not the height of the musical art. Furthermore, pretentious, pseudo-intellectual posturing is no substitute for wisdom, a sense of aesthetics, or the ability to back your scatter-shot assertions with substantive commentary. In addition, a fawning devotion to esoterica and an affected disdain for popular appeal do not, ipso facto, ratify a rabble of poseurs as some sort of cognocenti."

:yourock:

[General Zod]

17. I heard "The Night Chicago Died" on my way home yesterday.

I almost had to pull the car over so I could wretch. May be the worst song in the history of popular music. Even "Billy Don't Be A Hero" sounds good in comparison to this dreck.

[onebigbadwulf]

11. Because it's full of complex carbohydrates and lacks

fiber, vitamins, and minerals?

[dumpster_baby]

13. You're the only one I care enough to hurt about

Ah, the immortal art of Bread; it will live on forever.

1000 years from now, PhD students will write their theses on the immortal stylings of....Bread!

[dorktv]

19. HEY! I happen to LOVE that song.

[enigmatic]

20. Actually, you're wrong...

the worst band that ever lived was The Starland Vocal Band.

Trust me on this.

[JVS]

21. Good lord, how could I have forgotten?

[dorktv]

22. You are right about that...

[Wapsie B]

37. Electric Light Orchestra was damn close.

n/t

[1monster]

23. You ALL need to get a life! If you don't like the music, DON'T LISTEN TO

IT! It's that simple.

And for all the nasties y'all have been spouting, here are the lyrics to another song by Bread just to torture you.

If
Bread

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away


(BTW, I happen to like this song AND I like the Eagles, Paul Revere and the Raiders, ABBA, and so on. So there!:P)

[enigmatic]

24. On my Radio Station...

I have a show called "The Insane Music Program" that I host; it has artists that make Bread (or the Starland Vocal Band, if you wish..)sound like The Beatles; I have a blast doing the show..

[coloradodem2005]

28. Of all the bands you mentioned...

...The Eagles is the only good band. The rest blow chunks. :P

[enigmatic]

29. Screw The Eagles!

Gram Parsons/Flying Burrito brothers instead!;)

[coloradodem2005]

30. You are a flighty one. Aren't you?

;)

[enigmatic]

31. what can I say...

I got thrown out of my 9th grade English class for telling the teacher that Shakespere was a hack!;)

[last_texas_dem]

32. I disagree

I like the majority of Bread's music. To me, it's just catchy, melodic pop-rock. (A good deal of their music is substantially harder/less lyrically sappy than the Top Ten ballads they're remembered for.) Sometimes cheesy? Sure. Groundbreaking? Probably not. But I don't see them as anywhere near the worst band ever.

Comparing Bread, big Top 40 artists in the early seventies to pretty much every band getting played on Top 40 stations today makes me wish I had been alive to have been a radio listener back then.

To anyone who thinks they suck beyond redeemability, I'd recommend checking out a few of their smaller hits/album tracks: "Let Your Love Go", "Down on My Knees", "Take Comfort", "Mother Freedom", "Friends and Lovers", "Been Too Long on the Road", "Any Way You Want Me" for starters... Anyway, that's just my suggestion. I realize taste is taste, different strokes for different folks, etc.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. I had a college roommate who

would play the first side of "The Best of Bread" over and over til I was ready to puke. Thankfully, I found a place of my own in about a month.

[BigMcLargehuge]

35. I had a friend who bought TWO copies of "Best of Bread" for me and him

told me he was thrilled, that they were one of his favorite bands, etc...

I think I almost played all of one side, once.

Soulless, flaccid, overly emotional, hystrionics.

And crap, to boot.

[redstateblues]

36. Everything I Own- about his departed dad is a great song

[carpetbagger]

38. A few points about Quaalude Rock...not as bad as Wham.

First, and most obvious, ludes were legal by prescription in the 70's, so maybe it would have sounded better to some people.

Bread had two main people. One could write, the other couldn't. Although I tend to be partial to music heavy on the 70's sound, especially the maj7 rich harmonies, I still can't listen to a Bread album straight through. I can get through the nauseating lyrics by just ignoring the fact that the songs have words, but all the decent music is written by one of the two, and the other guy's stuff sounds horrible. It sounds like Bread trying to "rock". Quaalude bands aren't supposed to even try to do that. It's like Chicago's disco album, or that album Captain Kirk put out.

However, a few things on the plus side...

When Bread sang about music (music about music being one of my pet peaves), at least they chose to sing about a washed-up musician.

As I said, if you can ignore the words, the music is actually kind of pretty.

And most of all, it is far from the worst band ever. That would go to Wham.