I just don't understand the U.S.A.

[HEyHEY]

I can't even understand the concept of being baby-sat by an "RA" It sound so stupid to me that 18-year-olds have someone telling them what they can and can't do. The U.S. seriously needs more personal freedom. I don't care what freepers say. Too much mind controlling and morality engineering going on.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

1. The worst is when they initiate "games"

"Hi guys! My name is Amy (Kimmy, Brittany, etc.) and we're going to have so much fun this year! Let's play the getting-to-know-you game! I'll start. I'm 21 years old and I love puppies, rainbows and sunshine. My favorite clouds are fluffy ones!"


I used to hide in my dorm room. After about five minutes of knocking they usually gave up.

[HEyHEY]

2. "I'm here to learn, not be friends with you pricks!"

HA, should had that on the door

[IronLionZion]

28. we seem to have a nanny mentality here

because apparently we can't function without someone telling us what to do.

RA's are beyond uselsss, but sometimes they'll smoke weed with you and chill. You can get away with shit if you have a cool RA. But the bitchy anal ones will rat you out just to be nasty.

[elperromagico]

3. We weren't allowed to have members of the opposite sex in our rooms

after 11 PM.

I used to say that the only difference between my college dorm and a prison is that in prison, at least you get laid at night. :P

[WindRavenX]

4. The fact that pot is demonized in the US speaks volumes

Alcohol, far worse than pot, is tolerated highly, but if you smoke pot you're a stupid, lazy bum (this from someone who does not smoke).
If you are legal, you should have the freedom to do what you want with your life- either by making the choices to drink/smoke or not to drink/smoke.
Thankfully, people are pretty cool about underage drinking in Boston. I never get carded, and I'm 19.

[elperromagico]

7. The way I see it, if you're old enough to fight in a war,

old enough to kill - and potentially be killed - on the field of battle, you're old enough to open up a can of beer or a bottle of whiskey and get piss-drunk.

But that's just my opinion.

[WindRavenX]

9. agreed

I just think that if you are an adult and are by law now in charge of your own decisions...you can decide whether or not to drink.
Why can you smoke at 18 and not 21?

[elperromagico]

10. Tobacco lobbies have more power, I guess. n/t

[WindRavenX]

11. ayup

Personally, there's nothing better than a well made Cosmo after a hard work... :toast:

[kariatari]

13. totally agree. however...

i could lose my job if the wrong person sees me look the other way.

[Dookus]

20. well

Since we, collectively, own our public universities, think of 'em as our property. Would you let 50 18-22 year olds live in one of your buildings without having at least ONE or TWO minimal front-line "supervisors"?

I guess I was lucky - I never had a bad experience with RA's. They were incredibly cool at my school. The drinking age was 18 and there was no campus policy against smoking pot, so never got in trouble for drinking or smoking. Only if someone was out of control, or very sick, did we really have much dealings with them.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

26. At a bar on base, they can.

Just not out in the real world in the USA.
Duckie

[MercutioATC]

5. Most of what an RA is supposed to do is make sure people aren't assholes.

There are obviously exceptions, but my RA's in college were great. They warned us when the college was cracking down on certain things, they hung out with us, and they came down hard on the assholes who disturbed the nice equilibrium we had going.

Most 18-year-olds are capable of being responsible. Some choose not to be. RA's are the first line of defense to prevent them from disturbing other people.

[JVS]

6. Hey, if you leave the kids along it'll be Abu Graib in 30 minutes

[kariatari]

18. it's ok because it's only haizing.

and i can say that because steve king is in my district.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

8. RAs don't help anyone but the popular kids anyway

It's just another person too add to the long list of people that beat on you if you don't want to act like a simple bastard. The popular people make friends with the RAs and bribe them and then get away with EVERYTHING and the rest of us get written up for any little thing that might offend her highness or her court.

[kariatari]

12. seeing as i was the inspiration for the thread, i feel i must respond

Yes, RA's are pretty much the "baby-sitter" of the dorm. However, that involves a hell of a lot more than just playing name games and talking about puppies and rainbows.

Our main priority is the safety of our residents. Who is going to take the initiative to call 911 when some freshman girl is found drunk in a stairwell? Who is going to walk around the building and make sure doors are locked, make sure there's nobody suspicious in the building, and make sure drunk people aren't being acting like complete morons and doing stupid stunts that could end in disaster?

Besides our residents safety, our job is to get our residents engaged in the university whether it be through intramural sports, student-run theatre, political groups, residence hall offices, or other student organizations. New students who are involved in their college are more likely to make it to the second year at the school than those who are not involved at all.

Say what you want about RA's, but without us, dorm residents wouldn't have as safe and peaceful of a place to live.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

14. What about the people who just want to be left alone?

Some of us don't want to play any sort of stupid games or be made to feel like we are lesser because of it. School is primarily for learning, if you want to do an additional activity, fine. But if you don't, then you shouldn't be made to feel like a leper. Why do you think those who don't participate leave? I will tell you ONE reason is that they feel like outcasts because they are looked down on if they don't want to do some sort of communal activity. And my RAs never EVER made me feel safe. They took bribes and were among those whom you would list as "drunk people" acting like morons.

If you're a good RA, I tip my hat to you, but every one of OUR RAs was a shiftless slob.

[kariatari]

15. so you're saying it's bad to encourage people to get involved in something

I completely disagree with that. I'm not saying that I force anything on my residents, but if I find anything that might interest them, I let them know.

I agree that college is about learning, but not in the sense that you believe it is about learning. Yes, you're there to earn a degree and academics do come first. But in my view college is also for learning and developing social skills and other life skills that can't be taught in a class room or betweent he pages of a textbook.

I consider myself a pretty good RA because I get along fine with all of my residents. I think you can find something in common with anyone if you're a good observer.

BTW, Sorry you had sucky RA.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

16. No, I said it's bad to FORCE people by making them feel bad about themselv

And College is completely DIFFERENT than real life. It's no more real life than summer camp is. The social skills you need in life are barely developed in college, ask any college graduate who has been slapped in the face by the real world when they enter the workforce.

On edit: Im sorry I'm bitter, but I had a REALLY bad RA, maybe it's completely different with a good one.

[kariatari]

17. It's ok, i udnerstand lol. I had a crappy RA my frosh year too.

I know college is completely different from the "real world" but I still think there are things that you pick up throughout your college career that are valuable later in life.

For example, your first roommate. Where else do you learn to live with another person in a 12x12 cell and do it peacefully even if you don't consider them a friend? This is pretty much what you have to do at work when you don't especially like a co-worker or something.

And maybe it's just because I'm from a small town and knew everyone in high school, but college has definitely taught me how to meet other people and make friends blah blah blah because I was forced to.

[wickerwoman]

21. Yes.

Some people are loners. They are born that way and they stay that way their entire life. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to participate in group activities. And you can certainly find a well-paying and productive job that doesn't require you to work with other people. And it doesn't mean that you're suicidal or planning to kill everyone.

People harrassing me to be more social were the bane of my entire school and college existance. When I have something to say, I damn well say it, but I don't understand the need that many people have to chatter endlessly about inane garbage because they are so afraid of an awkward pause in the conversation. I hung out with the non-violent trenchcoat mafia clique of my school and my first thought after Columbine was "Oh shit, here come the people trying to help by "drawing us out" and "getting us involved"." It's so bloody patronizing and intrusive.

Your residents are adults. They'll be social if they feel like it- they should be allowed to be anti-social when they feel like it. I respect your concern for their safety, but it _really_ needs to end at patrolling the stairwells for vomiting freshmen.

[kariatari]

22. ok w/ everything you said

except the part about my concern needing to end at looking for frosh passed out in stairwells.

I get to know my residents as much as they'll let me, and when I suspect something is *seriously* wrong, I'll find a way to ask 'em about it. This doesn't mean that I'll think anyone who's a loner is depressed, it just means I know that some people who want help don't want to ask for it.

[HEyHEY]

27. See, we had them sort of

But their function was not to tell you if you could drink or not, all they did was keep an eye on the building to make sure it didn't fall apart, and if people were making noise late at night they'd tell you to keep it down. That was it. Basically a landlord. Security did most of the work though.

I guess my real beef is with the 21 legal age thing.,

[eyesroll]

37. Our RAs were similar...

Our alcohol policy? "We don't care if you're 18 or 22 -- if you're being a jackass with alcohol, you're gonna get cited. If you're under 21, you'll get the underage drinking ticket as well."

In other words -- although they don't say flat-out that underage drinking is OK, you're only going to get busted for it if you're acting improperly.

RAs where there to settle disputes between residents, if they couldn't settle it themselves and it didn't rise to a security issue. They also had condoms available, referrals to crisis hotlines, etc., and made maintenance requests and replaced lost keys. We had RAs who smoked pot, and RAs who would just tell us to towel our door better. Maybe they'd draw the line at setting up grow lights in the TV lounge...

So, a landlord with resources, basically...

[wickerwoman]

19. I had a really obnoxious RA.

She kept trying to make an appointment with me because she suspected I was depressed. Really, all of my friends lived on a different part of campus so I was never really in my dorm much. She harrassed me for months until I finally went to her room to get it over with and all she said was she wished I would spend more time in the dorm. How is that any of her damn business?

All the other people on my floor were airhead Barbie clones and pot-smoking assholes. I'll bet she spent a hell of a lot more time trying to make an appointment with me to talk about my "depression" than she did trying to catch the assholes who stuck maxipads all over my door.

They had some lame ass end of the year party with "awards" and I won the "Dorm Ghost" award. Yes, building teamwork through scapegoating. That's what you really learn in college. The really funny bit was that I didn't even show up to the party. I got back that night and they'd slipped it under my door.

[onebigbadwulf]

23. Well, like everything in life, it depends on the degree

a lot (and i mean A LOT) of students have trouble handling the shell shock of freedom.

some get depressed
some get into drugs and alcohol for the first time
some get into sex for the first time

When dealing with all of these things, it's important for these kids to have someone they can come to for help, advice, and assistance.

No one knows where anything is, especially since most of these kids have never really explored the campus, city, state, or even country they're in!

When I sprained my ankle I was glad I had an R.A. tell me where the student aid center was and had the ability to contact people who had a cart so they could drive me there.

When I had an 8am test and my neighbors were partying like rockstars at 3am, I'm glad I had an RA there to tell them to STFU so I could wake up in the morning.

When I was feeling depressed I'm glad I had someone there to talk to whom I know could not tell anyone about the encounter, but was just there to listen.


RAs are often criminalized to be the NARC, but I'm really glad they're there. I had a great one.

[baldguy]

24. It comes from our Puritan history.

Up until the 70s colleges and universities acted "in loco parentis" - as the legal parental authority over their students. Of course the legal requirement ended, but as the students' parents usually pay the buck of fees and tuition - and they don't like their children to be able to run amok - the system of RAs tends to limit the most egregious behaviors.

http://universitysecrets.com/ch06.htm

[daisygirl]

31. I found a copy of the 1929 OSU handbook for students

in the women's dorm at a used bookstore. It was - oh, what's the word I'm looking for - paternalistic? offensive? patronizing? Something like that. I can't remember the details (I wish I'd bought it - it was an interesting bit of history) but freshman had to be in by something like 9 on weeknights and 10 on weekends. Older students got to stay out an hour later.

It made me wonder if (since they had gender-specific handbooks) the male students were subject to the same degree of restriction. I doubt they were, but the store only had the women't handbook so no way to tell for sure.

[Nikia]

25. I found them to be useful as a freshman

Every college has certain rules and a certain culture so personal freedom at college does have something to do with the college that you go to or in some cases, the dorm that you live in (I lived in a substance free dorm by choice for 2 years).
My first year, I didn't really feel that the RAs were restricting my freedom at all. Our college didn't have visitig hours except no cohabitation and did not crack down on alcohol nor drug use, except if you lived in substance free housing (which was by choice and a signed agreement). Even though I didn't like my RA as a personal friend, she did help me out as far as giving me information on a wide variety of campus related subjects, told people with loud music at night to turn it down (This was music that people in the neighborhood around the dorm later called the police about), and helped negotiate things between my roommate and I who didn't get along.
After my freshman year, I wasn't really in contact with my RA. I knew everything that I needed to know and if I didn't I knew enough other upper classmen or faculty to ask. I lived with a roommate of my choice sophomore year and lived by myself my last two years. I was assertive enough to tell people with loud music that I did not want to hear it at full volume when I was trying to sleep (I really wished that there was quiet housing though). They are helpful for freshman. There is also the whole safety thing. Right or wrong, if anything happens to a student, the parents hold the college responsible.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

29. God I hate most of our RAs...

But they aren't as authoritative as you think. They're just here to make sure girls aren't drinking in their rooms or being too loud after ten. We have quiet hours so people aren't screaming up and down the halls at two while I'm trying sleep. Also so there aren't more homicides in Weatherford, OK. But you're right about the whole Brittany/Amy sunshine and clouds BS. But it's worse in class when your teacher wants you to talk about who you are and your goals and shit. God, this is a senior level course. Can we PLEASE just learn and will you just shut the fuck up!?
But we can't have boys in here before noon or after two. And this place is a hole. I paid 1400 bucks for this!? Good God.
Duckie

[curse10]

30. My boyfriend was fired from his job as an RA

he ran a workshop on how to not get caught smoking weed in your dorm room. The university frowned on that. :-)

[DS1]

32. I am completely incompatible with the types that will

voluntarily and anally enforce asinine rules in exchange for 10% more living space.

[JVS]

33. You got to live without paying rent at my college

I'd totally go for it to not pay rent! 10% more space is a joke but free rent is awesome.

[pbg]

34. It's good preparation for the outside world

If you think you're going to be immune from them as an adult, I've got news for you.

This stuff never ends.

Look on it as valuable how-to-deal-with-your-supervisor training.

[Nikia]

36. Also, if you live in an apartment

You really aren't free to blast your stereo at any hour, especially with the door open so you can hear it while you do laundry down the hall. Some landlords will order you to clean up your apartment if they feel that you are trashing it. If someone in the complex discovers that you are using drugs or serving alcohol to minors, the police could be called. I live in a duplex in which we are required to mow our lawn if it gets to a certain length or the landlord will mow us and chanrge us(way too much for the size of the lawn).
Even if you own your own home, there are local laws and not so laid back neighbors that could get you into trouble.

[LSdemocrat]

35. The RA's in my school didn't really do discipline, just mainly support

Our RA's really didn't care what we did or didn't do, except for enforcing "quiet hours" during finals, which I found reasonable.

Most of the RA's duties involved just being there for support and making sure (in a non-obtrusive way) that people weren't falling through the cracks.

[CanuckAmok]

38. Can you say "enabler"? Can you say "Learned Helplessness"?

Sure you can!

[greekspeak]

39. We have some messed up ideas concerning at what age one matures.

10 year olds tried as adults in a court of law. 18 year old college students forced to live in over priced student housing and treated like babies. You can be drafted (if there were a draft) at 18, but you cannot drink for another three years. Over all, the age at which one is considered mature is getting higher and higher. 200 years ago, you were liable to be married off, toiling away, with a housefull of rugrats at the same age Bunny/Brittany/Biffy the RA is playing childrens games with you and drowning you in sunbeams and lollypops. I think 18 is a good age at which you become mature enough to do the things adults are free to do. Drive, vote, drink, smoke, serve jury duty, work, be drafted, be tried as an adult, live where you want to live, etc. The way Americans bring up their offspring these days, I really do not think most under 18 are mature enough to fully grasp adult responsibilities.

[Nikia]

40. It is weird

That clothing designers and the media seem to be encouraging children to be sexy at age 11 or 12 while the average age of marriage has risen to mid to late twenties. I suppose that is a whole different issue though. I think that it is related though because being a teenager and early adulthood is promoted as a time to have fun without responsibility. Since college has a large concentration of people in their late teens and early twenties, parents are concerned.

[cmf]

41. some schools are better than others

as far as personal freedoms go. I went to one of those schools. It had a strong libertarian bent. We didn't really have that many rules. One could come and go as one pleased - no curfews. All of the dorms were coed - you could have overnight guests, it didn't matter if it was of the opposite sex. Visitors didn't have to sign in. We didn't have RA's in the traditional sense - our RA's were faculty members who basically played an academic advisory role. What went on in your dorm room behind closed doors was your business. The only time you would get busted for underage drinking or drugs is if the party spilled out into the common areas. When I visited my friend who went to another university freshman year - I couldn't believe the rules - you had to sign in and sign out, etc. And it's not like my university was in that good of an area - it's in the middle of a very large city - in fact, we'd occasionally get stray mental patients wandering in from the nearby medical center.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

42. Me neither. Sounds particularly nanny-statish.

We had no such people in halls at uni, and no-one died, no-one was injured, nothing much happened. Apart from the debaucheries, rampages and moonlight acid-sessions.