I might die in a few days, is it wrong to make someone promise me this...?

[Meldread]

Well I am going to have major surgery in a few days and there is a small, but possible chance, that I might die either during or after the procedure. So I made my Mother promise me that'd she go vote for John Kerry if I died. Is that wrong, lol?

She said she isn't likely to vote because my Dad is supporting Bush and I'm supporting Kerry and she doesn't want to vote because she feels like she might be "siding" with one of us over the other. We are both very… ahem... vocal about who we are supporting and trying to influence her to vote for our candidate.

But seeing as how I might die... it means I won't be able to vote. So I am basically asking her to vote in my place, so in reality she wouldn't be voting for herself but voting for me.

Is it wrong to make her promise me to do that? John Kerry has a small chance of winning Virginia last I checked so every vote counts.

Anyway, is that right or wrong? :P I feel kinda guilty but she said she probably wasn't going to vote anyway and I figured it was no sense and wasting it… and if I die my Dad might convince her to vote for Bush, so I’m making it so she can vote for me instead of herself and making sure John Kerry gets my vote one way or another. (Dead or Alive!)

[GingerSnaps]

1. Would you like to share with us what kind of surgery your having

My prayers are with you.

[Meldread]

5. Sure. :P

I'm having Gastric Bypass Surgery. The doctor I have is a good lady and has performed many. She was upfront about everything, and about 1 out of every 200 or so die. I'm not known for my luck, and on top of it all... there are other complications and the like which can kill you as well.

I've gotta be at the Hospital at 5:30AM EST on Thursday. I'm nervous as hell, but I'm fairly confident that I'll make it... and if I don't, well then... I suppose I'll meet you guys on the other side. :P

[samplegirl]

6. Theres only one side!!!!!

Liberal!!!!!! All others go to Hell!!!!!
You'll do fine!!!!!
Will remember you in my prayers

[mzmolly]

12. Meldread, your gonna make it, and love your new healthier life!

:hug: I can feel it in my bones.

I have a friend who had the surgery and he's doing great! I am confident you will too!

Please come back here as soon as you can and let us know how everything went.

As you know, Carnie Wilson is happy with her results.

Before surgery:


Carnie with her Doctor in 2000.



After Surgery:



Meanwhile, Carnie continued to battle her problem with obesity. At 31 years old, her health was in jeopardy. Her long time manager and friend Mickey Shapiro stated a Web site Spotlighthealth.com and asked her if she’d consider having Gastric Bypass Surgery (weight loss surgery commonly known as stomach stapling) LIVE over the Internet. This was the most courageous move Carnie ever made. After her successful surgery and losing more than 150 pounds, Carnie's new life was just beginning. While on tour with Al Jardine, Carnie met her future husband, musician, singer-songwriter Rob Bonfiglio. Love blossomed immediately and they were married a year later.

Carnie went on to influence and motivate millions of people. She graced the covers of People magazine three times, the cover of Us Weekly and Ladies Home Journal. She did Biographies for A&E and Lifetime’s Intimate Portrait. She continues to do lectures at hospitals and personal appearances around the country, along with being a spokesperson for Spotlighthealth.com, hosting online chats as well as running her own obesity support group called Carnie's Corner. Carnie receives more then 10,000 postings and e-mails every single week. In the summer of 2001, Carnie wrote her first book "Gut Feelings" with Spotlighthealth.com's Mick Kleber, selling more than 60,000 copies for Hayhouse Publishing.

http://www.carniewilson.com/bio.html

:hi:

[Ladyhawk]

15. Good luck!

A very dear friend of mine is considering this procedure, but his life has pretty much fallen apart. Between personal problems and his own health problems, he can't fit it in.

I hope it turns out well for you.

((((((((hugz))))))))

[RebelOne]

30. Not to worry.

My daughter had Gastric Bypass Surgery two years ago and she came through it just fine. Good luck and I am sure you will be OK.

[Guy Fawkes]

33. Ask if she's done 199 successful in a row

Seriously, good luck. 200 to 1 is good odds, so I wouldn't get my hopes up for your mom voting.

[mitchtv]

2. its all fair... this time its urgent

I was very sick in 92 waiting for a transplant. You can't be;ieve the relief when Clinton got in, at least I could die with my country in good hands. Oh by the way I got the transplant.

[rasputin1952]

11. I sure hope so!...

12 years is a long time to wait...)

Glad it worked out for you...:)

[still_one]

3. YOU ARE GOING TO VOTE FOR KERRY, TRUST ME!!!

[aquart]

4. Dying has very few privileges. Take what you can get.

You played the death card. If you die, your mother can have the small joy of doing one last thing for you. If you live, she can go back to negating herself as having no right to her own opinion or a legal vote.

[noahmijo]

7. You're not going to die yet

Heaven's not ready for you yet ;)

Seriously my prayers are with you. I'm lighting a candle for you tonight, St Jude Thaddeus, the one that Catholics light when they want someone protected from harm or death.

I don't care what your religion is, I use mine to ask that no harm come to good people in times like these.

[The Straight Story]

8. If she were in this situation, and asked you to vote Bush

Would you? And how would you feel yourself about her asking you to do so?

If you feel so strongly about something, making a request like this is normal. I would not worry about it, you have bigger worries it seems :)

I damn well expect you to also ask her to login here and tell us you made it through ok! I will pray tonight for you, but as for your question about all this - there are a lot more things in life to feel guilty over than asking someone you love to do something for you as a last request.

I asked the * question to put you in her shoes (to some extent, I don't know her at all!). Overall I think you made a realistic request of a loved one for something which was important to you. Nothing wrong with that.

my email is [e-mail], if you need someone to talk to or more prayers please email me, always happy to help a fellow Du'er, or any other person in any way I can. God Bless, and know that many will be thinking of you.

[Meldread]

14. I might look bad for saying it...

...but even if my own Mother, on her Death Bed, asked me to vote for Bush for her I'd still refuse. I'm sorry, I love my Mother to pieces, but the world is much larger than she is and more people will die and get hurt if Bush gets another four years. I think she'd come to some sort of understanding once she passes on... or at least I'd hope so. :P

I'd hate to be put in the position though. When I asked her she said: "Your not going to die, so don't worry about it." Then I pushed it, telling her that it was *VERY* important that John Kerry at least get one of our votes if I don't make it. Then she said "Sure, I'll do it... but your not gonna die so don't worry about it." :P

My Mother isn't a Bush supporter. In her heart she supports John Kerry she's just afraid to admit it because my Dad is supporting Bush and my Mother doesn't like Politics and she's adverse to the inevitable conflict it always causes. (Still, she almost always votes.) I hate to put her into that position, but I just feel that it's *THAT* important to not only myself but to people all across the United States and the World.

[Voltaire99]

9. Yes, I am afraid it is wrong

First off, good luck with your surgery.

Second, if the worst should happen, do you wish your mother's immediate raw sorrow to be exacerbated by a pact that will divide her family loyalties, inflicting guilt, blame or worse? She will hardly need that albatross in her hour of grief.

There are many things more important than politics. Love is one of them. Best solution: you survive and vote for Kerry, and let her go about things the way she sees best.

[Cha]

10. You poor thing...I hope you pull out of that

major surgery just fine. I know how much this election means to you and to all of us..and this is just one life's example.

I would feel the same given your circumstances.

I've been working on my kids to register to vote and it looks like they're gonna do it..I'm so excited.

[rasputin1952]

13. First things first...

my thoughts and prayers are headed your way...:)

Now, don't worry about anything you ask of your mother or father...they are here for you. Besides, when dad sees the bill, he'll go Dem anyway...:D

In all sincerity, may all go well for you in thae days ahead, and we expect to see you both here, and in the voting booth Nov 2...:)

[asianjoanne]

16. Be of good spirits!

You won't be dying anytime soon guy! You'll see! Things will be fine, you'll wake up from being put to sleep (which is a FUN experience...at least for me) and you'll see all this "dying talk" was for nothing! You'll get to vote for Kerry in person and see his presidency! Don't be one bit pessimistic because if you are, I heard that your body can make things happen that you tend to think a lot about...something about your mind and body being connected. For example...you think you're going to get hurt at work, then you're most likely going to get hurt at work because you were thinking about it the whole day!

Errr....enough of my psychology and college teachings. HAHAHA! Be optimistic! Noah and I did indeed light a candle and said a little prayer for you. We're not devout religious crazies, BUT when it comes to a fellow Democrat and his life, we like to whip out our Catholic candles and say a little pray to those who go through life changing surgeries.

The best of luck with your surgery and Noah and I will be praying for your recovery! Stay positive!!!! {{HUGS}}

[Meldread]

18. Thanks!

Ironically enough I'll be having my Surgery at a Catholic Hospital. So maybe it'll let me score a couple of points with the big man upstairs. :P

I have a pretty simple philosophy when it comes to stuff like this: Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I think I'll get through things just fine. I'm pretty young and healthy all things considered but you just never know. Anything is possible.

Besides if I don't make it, I can at least start making negotiations with the Big Man to make sure Bush gets a nice comphy spot in the lowest pits of Hell. ;)

[yellowdawgdem]

17. You should get your Mom to vote for Kerry

In fact, maybe you should just pretend that you didn't make it, so you'll be sure to get that Kerry vote out of her. Lol, just kidding!
Otoh, since you are living in Va and this concerned, maybe you should try and get other people to vote Kerry. I mean, you could carry a stack of voter reg forms to the hospital with you, and really work on those nurses!
Good luck with the surgery, I know that surgeons always tell you the worst case scenario, so I wouldn't worry about dying.

[Meldread]

19. ROFL.

Yeah, I could do that. Although I had a rather bad experience with someone I knew yesterday. You can read about that here. So knowing my luck, and considering that it's a Catholic Hospital, the nurses wouldn't be amused when I toss them a line such as: "You know, you really should vote for John Kerry considering that if you got sick in this hospital you probably couldn't afford to get treated here." Knowing my luck they'll just smile as they put some deadly toxic poison in my IV. :P

[yellowdawgdem]

26. I did read the thread

Sounds like you did a good job of it, for 45 minutes.
I've had rw- ers go off on me, not to that extent, but maybe there are more of them in the Virginia area. Still, it is hard to know what to say when one goes completely haywire. You got some good one liners in though, especially the part about Rush Lardbutt, and the missed distinction between mecca and alla.
ok, I see why you would keep your politix private, going in for surgery.

[Mick Knox]

20. good luck

[RFKHumphreyObama]

21. My thoughts, prayers and best wishes on your surgery Meldread

All the very, very best :hug:

[Meldread]

22. Thank you all!

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers! Don't worry, I'm sure I'll pull through and I'll make sure I let you guys know how it goes when I get home. I'll post on this forum. :)

[andino]

23. Good Luck

I'll be sure to send a few good thoughts your way and throw down a few prayers for you. I am sure that you'll do great.

[GingerSnaps]

24. You know what a Right Winger would do to you

They would bring a pizza in the room and eat it under your nose. They are that nasty.

You will be fine and we are all praying for you.

You better ask for a laptop to use in the hospital and let us know how you are doing after your surgery.

:loveya: :pals: :grouphug:

[Meldread]

27. ...and if someone tried to do something like that...

I'd derive great pleasure in hitting the nurse call button and telling her to send in security to "escort" the Right Winger out. That'll probably be after my Mother half way kills him -- lucky for him he'll already be in a hospital. :P

[onebigbadwulf]

25. Possibly dead might make you eligible for absintee ballot

why not do that?

[Meldread]

28. Wow, really?

How long does it take to vote by absentee? I can do that in secret and if I do kick the bucket my Mother will still vote for John Kerry. (He'd score an extra vote!) Although, as much as I want John Kerry to win I don't plan on dying so he can get an extra vote. :P I'm a little attached to my life and I'd like to stay this way for a little while longer. :P (Preferably 60-70 more years type longer. :P)

[onebigbadwulf]

29. I think that's a wise decision! =)

Good thinkin! :)

[Skittles]

31. yes it was wrong

to ask your mom to do something she's not comfortable with and you're not going to die so stop being a ninny before I kick your ass. :D

[Dookus]

32. Best of luck

with your surgery.

As to your request, yes it's wrong. As you say above, you wouldn't vote for Bush if your mother requested it. Using guilt to make someone do something they wouldn't otherwise do is wrong.