My encounter with a SAN FRANCISCO PARKING PSYCHO WOMAN!!!!

[UdoKier]

(And no, she wasn't a freeper. At least I don't think so. This is SF, kinda rare here.)

Okay, first off, for those who don't know, parking in most of San Francisco is at a premium. There are narrow driveways with very small spaces in between where people try to park their cars, which is sometimes hard to do without edging slightly in front of somebody's driveway. Most people are somewhat tolerant, within reason, but others, after years of dealing with parking obstructions, become EXTREMELY protective of their driveways. Then there are the DPT red zones that you also do not want to park in front of. That being said, the DPT officers don't usually go out of their way to try and ticket someone who's into the red by an inch.

So tonight, I'm visiting friends on Prentiss street in Bernal Heights, and I park the car. Not all that carefully because I have to go pee. As I'm going in, I notice I'm in front of a small 18-inch long red zone on the side of a driveway, so after using the bathroom, I head back out to try and adjust the car. I see a lady walking in toward the house I'm in front of, so I ask her in a friendly way, "Do you think they're pretty picky about the red zone?" And she starts to read me the riot act.

Her: "Do you have a California Driver's license? What kind of idiot are you? Can't you read the DTP sign?"

And on and on she rants as she enters her home.

Me: "Thanks for answering my question in such a HELPFUL way." (much sarcasm)

So, I decide to play it safe and scoot the car up. Now it's a steep hill and I'm facing uphill, and there is an SUV in front of me, so I don't want to get to close to it, but I move up so my rear bumper is just about an inch into the red zone.

I go inside and enjoy our dinner with friends.

When we come out - you guessed it, $50 parking ticket on the windshield. (This is a residential area away from main streets, and the ticket was issued at 8:40 pm, so she had to have called)

I see that my bumper is slightly encroaching on the red zone, but I figure it's close enough that a court might be lenient, so after grousing a bit about the ticket and the lady who obviously had complained, I send the wife to the convenience store to get a Throw-away camera at the convenience store to document the car's position.

While she's gone, I decide to write the lady a little note:

Dear resident,

It's obvious that you are a mean, bitter, lonely and hateful witch.

I hope that you learn something about being human someday.

Signed, a person who will never darken your door again.

(I made a point of not using foul or even vaguely threatening language.)

The moment I lay the note on her stoop, "Mrs. Kravitz" storms out yelling.

Her: "Do you have something to say to me? I'm on the phone with the Police right now. (to police) Yes. He's here. Green. Model year, about 1980-something..."

Me: "Excuse me! It's a 1995!"

Witch's daughter: "Whatever, it's OLD!"

(Now I'm getting annoyed. I have an Escort wagon, but it's clean and well-cared for.)

Me: "Good. I'd be happy to talk to the police. I'll wait right here."

Witch: "What is on the note? "

Me: "You're welcome to read it. It's just what I think of you."

Then her next-door neighbor comes out, and he starts yelling because I'm in the wrong, and I'm also slightly into HIS driveway. Of course I wouldn't have been so far forward had it not been for the red zone around the Witch's driveway, and hers is the only one that has one, because she specially requested that the city put one there!

I knew this when I parked, but didn't think much of it since the SUV ahead of me was COMPLETELY blocking the driveway. I conceded to the irate man that he was right, and that my gripe with the woman wasn't about the position of the car, but the fact that she could have just told me not to park there at all in the first place rather than screaming at me about my license (which I got 20 years ago)

Anyway, he leaves, she continues...

Witch: "Why don't you just admit you're wrong and get out of here now, I've called the police."

Me: "No, I'd like to talk to them."

Witch: "Suit yourself, idiot."

She goes inside, wife and friends come back, we take a couple of snapshots, then start to commiserate about what happened. Then after a couple of minutes, Old Lady Windowpeeker comes out again!

Witch: "On second thought, you stay here! I'm going to show the police this note!"

Me: "Okay, show them. It's the truth."

Witch: "You know, you are a real idiot. Why don't you just apologize and get you car out of here?

Me: "Hell, I'm probably legally in the wrong here. That's not the issue. The issue is you being a total bitch without an ounce of humanity. You could have told me before I parked but instead you just screamed nonsense at me."

Witch: "Look you moron, you're probably drunk!" (didn't touch a drop) (Then to my wife and friends) "You should be ashamed of this drunken idiot. Do you see what he's done?!" (etc. etc.)

Me: "Man, you are one mean, bitter old witch. Don't you have anything better to do with your life than monitor the parking in front of your house and call the cops all the time? You're lonely and sad, and I'll bet you die that way."

Witch: (with look of scorn - she's decided we look "poor") "I have a home."

(She goes on ranting some more about what an idiot I am. By this point several neighbors have emerged from their houses to see what the commotion is - several mention that she is insane and not to waste my time with her)

Me: "Look, I realize that I'm legally in the wrong here. I'm just saying that morally, on a human level you are being a witch. There's no reason for you to pull crap like this on people."

Witch: "YOU are in the wrong. Apologize! In the wrong!!! (Then I loved this part) "Own it!!"

Me: "Own it?! What the hell are you talking about? Do you attend Learning Annex classes for a living? That doesn't even make sense. I'm sick of this. I'm leaving. Have a sad, lonely night."

Witch: "No, don't go, the police are coming, and I'm going to show them this note!!!"

Me: "So what, I have a right to call you a mean old witch, just like you have a right to call me a drunken moron. Goodbye!"

So I start to drive away, she keeps screaming, as our friends say goodbye and apologize for not warning us about her.

When we call the friends later, they tell us that the police came, and that they had laughed and thought my note was a "perfect description". Apparently she calls them constantly, is always having cars towed and sues people in the neighborhood. Has several screws loose (which I had started to suspect when she told me to "Own" my infraction.

If you are a San Franciscan and you want to tell me I'm in the wrong, don't waste your breath. I know how much I was in the wrong. I also know that MY house has a driveway identical to hers. I've never gotten the city to come and put red zones on either side of it, even though cars sometimes protrude to the point that I have to squeeeeeze out, or swerve around it. I know how tough it is to park in this town, and I'm grateful that I have a garage - many don't, so I take such parking infractions in stride. I would only call the cops if they made my driveway impassible and I couldn't leave.



I hope this story wasn't too boring. I got kind of mad, but it was entertaining in a way. I don't get to meet people that tightly wound very often.

[fujiyama]

1. I thought it was funny

and I don't even live in San Francisco. I've been there twice though. Beautiful city.

Some people are just plain nuts. I heard this quote from a friend of mine once -- no matter what, you just can't fix stupid.

[NJCher]

13. yeah

I hear that in the teacher's lounge a lot.


Cher

[UdoKier]

15. Hey Cher. Long time no see.

I love your long cat. I always thought it was a microphone on a boom!

[Jack_DeLeon]

2. ROFL...

nice.

That being said I'm glad I dont live in a city where parking is that much of a hassle.

[yorgatron]

4. never lived there,but had many friends who did

parking sucks bigtime,i usually have to cram into a space that's barely enough,and have to "nudge" the other cars front and back just to fit.that lady sounds like a whack job to me.you should contest that ticket...

[Dookus]

3. hehe

I lived in SF for years. It's a helluva town to try to park in. And witches like her just make it worse. I'm glad you gave her a hard time.

[jeff30997]

5. Funny story. I'm glad she's not my neighbor.

[soothsayer]

6. I ended up feeling sorry for her by the end of your story

But...I can see why you were mad, definitely.

[UdoKier]

7. Well, I could tell she was only going to get more hysterical...

...and that it would only bring out the worst in me if I stayed, so I took off.

I don't feel sorry for her. Her snobbish attitude and assumption that WE didn't even have a HOME took care of that.

The decor of her house was curious. It was clean and neat, but there were large figures on the fenced-in porch with little mirrors attached all over, and a big wooden post that had painted on it "Inspiration is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration."

She had a bunch of knicknacks in her 2nd and 3rd story picture windows, including a Buddha (!) statue and an ENORMOUS Buddha head. ALL the statues and figures in the windows are positioned so as to be STARING TO THE OUTSIDE.

While the art was all attractive and tasteful, it's positioning seemed to be saying "I'm WATCHING YOU. I HAVE MY EYE ON YOU."

And she did. She obviously was peering out thru the curtains the entire time she wasn't berating me.

This woman has a comfortable home (in expensive SF) and money to buy (or time to make) art. The fact that her big priority in life is enforcing parking in front of her house tells me her values are wacked. She may very well be a repuke, given her strange obsessiveness.

[Spinzonner]

8. Or lonely (not surprisingly), or frustrated, or perhaps may have

a diagnosed psychological problem.

So she obsessively seeks to control (over others) perhaps one of a few things she really can.

Or not.

So she lost it over a trivial issue. She doesn't seem to have the capacity to control her reactions.

What's your reason ?

So you got some sort of symbolic - in your own mind - victory over a rather sad sounding case. Perhaps you might have taken a different approach and difused the situation rather than escalating it. I'm really not particularly impressed with your moral victory over this person.

[UdoKier]

9. What victory? I'm sharing a story.

I think she was being mean. I was wrong to park in the way I did. Hardly a victory. I got called every name in the book for a minor parking infraction. If I had left, it would have felt better, but a person like that deserves to get called on her meannness, sick or not. I could see all the neighbors practically cowering in her presence. I don't have to live near this woman. I can say to her what they'd all like to say but cannot because they are neighbors.

If I had been a mean person, I could have said or done worse. I hadn't intended on confronting her, just leaving her a note. SHE was the one who couldn't resist coming out to bellow, TWICE.

I got my ass out of there rather than continue with her- and she seemed to want toi go on forever.

Her neighbor also berated me, but I concede that I was wrong with him since he hadn't picked the fight to begin with, and because he had a legitimate gripe, my actually prrotruding into his driveway.

My back bumper was 18 INCHES away from the edge of her driveway. She could have moved a Winnebago out of there.

I tried to keep it as calm and polite as possible, but she kept getting more hysterical. I'm sorry if my handling of the situation doesn't meet your approval, but I dislike mean people, and I will not hesitate to tell them that they are mean.

I guess the one victory I can claim is simply that I learned a lesson, not to take a chance with iffy parking in this town unless absolutely necessary. A mistake I won't make twice.

[Spinzonner]

10. That she was merely mean is an assumption

on your part. There may have been more to it. Or not.

What you clearly did is verbally escalate a situation that didnt need to be escalated. In this case you picked a person who ultimately was rather powerless other than appealing to authorities and expressing anger.

If you choose this approach another time - to remonstrate and confront another 'mean' person you might not be so fortunate and get someone who is truly violence-prone and unable to control themselves.

It just doesn't seem like a wise and mature way to behave. Maybe emotionally satisfying but that could be short-lived another time and another place.

Do you feel lucky ?

And, of course, my approval is totally worthless.

[UdoKier]

12. Leaving a brief note is not "picking on"

SHE chose to sit peeking out the window, then come out yelling the moment I placed the note.

You are right in that my behavior may have entailed some risk, but I did not set out to bully her. One other neighbor whispered to me that he had egged her house once, she got him so mad. I would not do that.

This woman LOVES confrontation and has a filthy mouth.

If I felt emotionally satisfied, I wouldn't have written this post. I wish I had reached her but I didn't. Maybe you know how to reach belligerent people, I don't.

[Spinzonner]

17. I don't try to reach them

I'm not a psychological counselor or evangelist.

It's not my motive to fix them or correct them or teach them a lesson or anything like that.

My goal is to avoid such people whenever I can and walk away from confrontations so as to maximize the likelihood that I won't set off some possibly violent personality.

My goal is my own survival and personal well-being over little emotional quasi-victories.

Your intentions may vary.

[UdoKier]

19. You make a valid point.

15 years ago, I would have been in the egg-throwing category. So I feel like I've made progress.

G'night!

[REP]

11. You Deserve The Ticket

Calling people "witch" is just so fucking Republican. It's about as cute as namecalling by saying "You Jew!"

[UdoKier]

14. At the time I got the ticket...

the only person who had called any names was her, in response to my polite qustion about the red zone.

There is nothing republican about calling a woman who resembles a witch a witch.

Oh wait, I get it - you're a "Wiccan"! Am I right? LOL.

Next time I should pick something more misogynist like "bitch" or the C word?

What insult words for a woman are acceptable to your sensibilities?

Why are you not offended by her use of the words idiot, moron and drunk?

They are demeaning to the mentally challenged and those struggling with addiction.

[miss_kitty]

21. i hardly see calling a screaming banshee a 'witch' equitable

with "namecalling by saying "You Jew!" " i am assuming from the limited context offered here that you are meaning that in an angry, racially epithetical way.

weird...i thought calling this person a witch in the heat of an attack instigated by her, to be very low key and self-editing of UdoKier.

it couldn't be that YOU were the screamer, could it?
i think we should be told.

and remember:

“Beware of those in whom the impulse to punish is strong.”–De Tocqueville

[UdoKier]

22. There are some "Wiccan" posters and supporters around...

They expect to be treated with the same deference as members of mainstream religions. They think the word "witch" IS a bigoted epithet.

###SELF-CENSORED PASSAGE ABOUT MY OPINIONS OF "WICCANS"###

I'm glad to be an agnostic, free of assumptions about the nature of the universe. I'm content to find out when I die - or there will be nothing to find out.

If anything, atheists and agnostics are probably the most maligned and mistrusted of ALL "religious" groups because we refuse to or are unable to believe in what ANY of the others believe, and the lack of ANY "universal truth" cuts to the core of their fear-of-death complex more than anything else. It terrifies them.

Anyway, I WAS attempting to restrain myself and the urge to resort to the more misogynistic epithets. I suppose I could have called her an "asshole" or a "jerk", but people just don't call women that in real life, do they? Besides, I wanted to insult her, not take her on a date. I thought choice of words conveyed my perception of her pretty well.

[miss_kitty]

27. oh well, i never use the word witch as an epithet

but then i find many other words to use against ppl like them woman you described to be much more shocking to them, and much more satisfying to me...i won't mention them here, in deference to the thin-skinned.


i salute your restraint vis a vis the misogynistic epithets. those are the very ones i would have used. as a woman, i would catch less flak from certain quarters. and as me, i wouldn't care. i know what i am and what i am not. the rude need a good ear bashing sometimes.

and i am all over the agnostic thing with you-i consider it cynical optimism or optimistic cynicism...i change. and i will follow your lead and self-censor anything i may have to say about any kind of organised religion and the ppl who need them.

[NJCher]

16. little mirrors

I wouldn't presume to pass judgement on your behavior (much less admonish you on a public board!) but it's an interesting story, especially the part about the statues all facing outward and the little mirrors. I doubt she's a repuke, though. They don't know from Buddhism.

I used to know the significance of the little mirrors. I recall an artist's group I used to be in and how some of the artists were getting some of those little mirrors to use in their work (which had to do with some spiritual message related to the eastern religions). The mirrors serve some spiritual purpose.


Cher

[UdoKier]

18. Just an aside...I wasn't shocked to see Buddhist artifacts...

...just shocked that such an incredibly unpleasant person would have them. I've never met a practicing Buddhist like that. Ever.

[UdoKier]

20. kick.

Only because it took me so long to write this damn thing!

[anti_shrub]

23. I think there should be a unit of measure invented

for the amount of time after an amusing story is posted on a messageboard till the time someone replies scolding the original poster.

Perhaps call it the "nanny-second"?

:silly:

[UdoKier]

26. It comes with the territory.

I used to get incensed about it.

Since I WAS in the wrong to a degree, I'm not going to go nuts over it.

[medeak]

24. Poor woman

she's probably going through menapause

[UdoKier]

28. I talked to a number of neighbors...

They all said that she's ALWAYS been like that. In fact they said I had gotten her "on a GOOD DAY" that usually she is much more hysterical. I guess she took her meds that day.

They said that she had an affair with a drug addict neighbor, then after they broke up, she sued him for trespassing, and when the case was dismissed, she physically ATTACKED him.

It's a mental problem, apparently, and although I know I'm supposed to have sympathy for those struggling with mental illness, it's hard not to be angry at a person who is essentially functional, but just a real she-devil about her own obsessions.

It's also hard not to take a stream of insults personally.

[medeak]

32. so why

are you even bothering to interact with a mentally ill person pray tell?

Let it go and say some prayers for the poor lady.

[UdoKier]

33. That was after the episode had winded down.

I thought she was sane (more or less) during the exchange.

By the way, there are mentally ill people who are nice and there are ones who are mean - same as "sane" people.

I'll save my kind thoughts for kind people, thanks, just the same.

[Warren DeMontague]

25. Be Glad You Didn't Get Towed.

Welcome to San Francisco!

[UdoKier]

29. Yeah. I've been here 7 months. I should know better.

Usually, nobody is so picky about an inch, but I know I can't take that for granted.

I still intend to NOT be a stickler about how people park on either side of MY driveway.

I just can't fathom the mentality that does that.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. My wife used to live in Noe Valley

Parking was an "adventure", to say the least. There was at least one major parking nazi on the street, who had her sister towed one afternoon while we were getting lunch. Charming.

[ronnykmarshall]

30. Had something like that happened to me.

I was in Golden Gate park on a Sunday and I parked my scooter to go skating.

I tried my best not to take up any space so people could not get their cars out. Came back and some asshole wrote some shitty note (not word for word): "I had the worst time getting my car out. You should not be allowed to park that thing. Those things should be illegal. Boo to you."

I cracked up with the "Boo to you" remark.

Some people in SF have such a stick up their asses when it comes to parking.

I'm so glad I never owed a car when I lived there.

[ronnykmarshall]

31. A story on the flip side.

We had flat on Collingwood (in the Castro) and one night these jerk offs from Modesto (they had a plate frame that had the name of some dealer in Modesto) parked RIGHT in our driveway. Our complex was six units with a garage in the back. Sooooooooo I called the cops.

The cops show up and tow the car away.

Hours later (when the bars closed) I hear these pissy little queens throwing a fit. "Oh my gawd! Where's my car? My car's been stolen!"

My bedroom window faced the street (second floor) so I heard the whole thing. I opened the window and said "Honey, your car wasn't stolen, it was TOWED."

The little bitches got all pissed and started screaming at me "Why did you have my car towed? You can't do that!".

I replied, "Sweetness, you parked your sorry ass car and blocked our driveway. The next tourist stop you're gonna see is the SFPD impound lot. Have fun!"

[UdoKier]

35. Of course that serves them right. I would never park in someone's driveway

without permission, anyway.

I've had people park in mine a time or two, but it was always for a few minutes, and I don't drive all that often, so I never complained. I would if the car was there for several hours, though.

[ronnykmarshall]

36. It was sooooo funny!

You had to deal with a parking nazi from hell. These little tweerps had it comin'!