I'm a mean, unreasonable and selfish person

[Coventina]

In October, the SO's best friend is having his kid baptized. He wants SO to be a "sponsor" for the kid (used to be called "Godfather"). Which means we have to fly across the country for this. In the middle of the semester.

I've met the SO's friend when he's come out for visits, never met the wife or the baby. We're supposed to stay for like 3 or 4 days, which I think is a really long time to spend in a woman's home I've never met before.

When the SO and the friend get together, pretty much all they do is drink, get drunk and act like drunken jerks.

What makes the whole thing more ridiculous (in my eyes) is that the couple never goes to church anyway, so why get the kid baptized? And, my SO never goes to church, and doesn't think highly of organized religion either. And he's going to stand up for the kid and pledge to ensure a religious upbringing? The whole thing just seems kind of stupid to me, but the SO is mad at my attitude.

I'm a horrible person, I guess. I don't want to be there for my SO's oldest friend's kid's baptizm.
:-(

Sorry, just had to vent.....

On edit: plus, I'm terrified of flying, which also adds to my bad attitude about the whole thing....

[Mizmoon]

1. I never go to church, but my kids are baptized

some superstitions run DEEP. This was one for me.

Tell SO to go alone if it's that important to him/her.

[Coventina]

3. We've had THAT fight already, I lost

I'm going, like it or not.

I just have to complain about it, because I have a piss-poor attitude about the whole thing.

I was lucky to escape having to go to the wedding several years ago. The SO was best man.

[MichaelHarris]

2. Don't

ever go against da family, make him an offer he can't refuse. That woulda been funny to you if you heard me while I typed it in my Marlon Brando voice.

[sui generis]

4. Plan B

1. Send a thoughtful gift
2. Send SO in a week or two at a more appropriate time for an extended "get together".

If drunken debauchery is in order, as is sometimes the case among old friends, it's best that it doesn't take place using this special occasion as an excuse.

That way you can make plans too.

[Coventina]

5. SO is adamant that we be there for the baptizm

for some reason, he's getting all fundie about this.

When I questioned why the couple wanted their kid baptized at all, since they are unchurched, he really flew at me. "Why do you think they're such horrible people!?" he raged.

I don't think they're horrible people. I just don't understand why nominal Christians who don't attend church want their kids baptized.
:shrug:

on edit: grammatical error

[The empressof all]

6. I'm even more unreasonable

Here's what you do.

You gotta go- Sorry but sometimes you just need to suck it up

Stay at a hotel and rent a car. It will cost more but your sanity is worth every penny. There is no reason for you to have to be with anyone for 3 or 4 days even if you like them. You should not have to put yourself in that position. Give yourself a place to escape to. Your SO will need to compromise on this.

When things get tough with his friends-Fake a headache, order room service and pay per view.

Find some touristy things to do and quickly develop a burning passion to visit them. Life is not complete after all until you have personally seen the worlds largest ball of twine.

You may meet some folks you like and have fun with. But keep it all in your control by having a hotel and a car.

[Bunny]

7. Excellent advice, Wubette.

By all means, control what you can. If you absolutely HAVE to go, tell SO that you are getting a hotel and a rental car, or you are not going. Stand firm on that. You are compromising by going, he will need to compromise as well.

I'm old and crotchety, but I would never stay for 3-4 days in the home of someone I don't know. And I would never expect nor want them to entertain me for those days, either. (I would bet that the wife is not real thrilled about this either, come to think of it).

Go do touristy things during the day, perhaps have dinner with the couple, then retire to your hotel for the evening. If SO and husband want to go get drunk, fine. You'll be in control of your surroundings and can do as you see fit.

Good luck.