17 Fatal Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

[CO Liberal]

17. "I finished the Oreos."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk ?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger...

[bahrbearian]

1. LMAO

[Red State Rebel]

2. Ohhhhhh you are in big trouble!

If only men could get pregnant....if only!!

[TrogL]

3. We can't go to the hospital yet. I have to wait for a compile to finish.

I actually used that one, more as a standing joke than anything else.

In the delivery room, after a particularly nasty contraction (during which she just about broke my wrist) she announced "if you even think about raising the issue of sex in the next two weeks I swear I will break it off".

[HEyHEY]

4. I said to a woman once

Who had JUST had her kid two months earlier.
"Is it out yet?" As I pointed to her stomach.

I was drunk...she was overweight, I had the best intentions

[Endangered Specie]

5. ROFLMAO!

[ET Awful]

6. And one fatal thing to say to a non-pregnant woman. . .

When are you due?

[Endangered Specie]

7. "What??? On the first try? Damn Im good"

;)