Op Ed: "All Olympic Athletes Should Compete Naked & Slathered In Olive Oil

[matcom]

<snip>

THE OLYMPICS may have returned to the land of their birth, but even as these games wind down, the stadiums in Athens remain eerily empty. So perhaps the organizers should take some lessons from the ancient Greeks. The hosts of those original Olympics never had trouble luring spectators: the games were packed for nearly 1,200 years.

What, we have to wonder, were the ancient Greeks doing right? In Athens 2004 AD, the organizers have made some half-hearted efforts to recapture the look of the classical games, like crowning all medal winners with a wreath and emblazoning images of Adonis-like ancient athletes on the sides of city buses. But obviously, they haven't gone far enough. The time has come to truly delve into the pagan past, and recreate the spectacle that made the Olympics such a crowd-pleasing hit for generation after generation.

The first step is obvious: All contestants should compete stark naked, slathered with olive oil. Nudity was at the heart of the Greek athletic tradition -- only barbarians were ashamed to display their bodies. And nudity fueled the athletes' vanity. To provide a decent grip, wrestlers dusted one another down with different colored powders, turning the strongmen into living statues of ocher and gold. The spectators loved the nudity, too. Groupies would gather at the training grounds beforehand to watch their favorites work out in the buff.

Reintroducing the ancient all-nude rule today would surely fill those stadiums in Athens, eclipsing the craze recently shown for bikini-clad beach volleyball players. The logic would be impeccable to any ancient Greek: the Olympics bring together the most perfect physiques on earth; why persist with the false modesty of wearing figure-hugging spandex, bikinis, and "skin suits"?

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2004/08/26/ode_to_ancient_games_nudity_and_all/

[GOPisEvil]

1. So, on those really hot days...

...you could see an athlete actually sautee? Cool. I'm in!

[demnan]

2. LOL!!

n/t

[matcom]

4. Comentator: "Fans are showering the race track with diced onions"

[GOPisEvil]

5. Is that...Oh my God...it's a giant wooden spoon!!!!

[rkc3]

12. Gives new meaning to ----

the US team spanked the Brazilians.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. I couldn't vote "no" on that proposal

[trumad]

6. An East German Shot-Putter

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. ewwwwwwww

:shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared: :shudder: :scared:

[trogdor]

8. So showing up in a jockstrap is out of the question...

...no matter how much it might have improved performance by not having your package shifting about.

[rocktivity]

9. Well, it would certainly separate the men from the boys!

:evilgrin:
rocknation

[THUNDER HANDS]

10. the winter olympics would be more interesting

It would be easy to tell how cold it really is. :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. "Looks like it must be about 38 degrees on the ice rink today"