Love is possibly the scariest thing we can ever feel;

[Mara Steele]

to feel this NEED for ONE person, who cannot EVER be duplicated, in all of space and time.

To love with all your heart, to feel vulnerable, to feel like a little lost child or a puppy; and especially, to not know for certain if you are loved back??

It's scary, I tell you...

I hate it.
:mad:

[GOPisEvil]

1. Definitely.

:hug:

[Mara Steele]

2. Thanks for the hug!

Ugh, I just HATE this weakness, David!

:hug:

:hi:

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. You can never know for certain, Mara.

All you can do is trust in yourself. :hug:

[Mara Steele]

5. I try to trust myself, and it usually brings me good things....

It's been so long since I had a true, real life, friend like this, though, I can't help but being afraid of losing what I've barely just found! Mostly I think that's crazy, but these thoughts just keep wandering to me...

Ugh... this rain is driving me nuts, too!!

:hug:

Thanks, hedges, you're a real sweetie!!

[jukes]

4. being scared is half the fun

& double the reward if it works out.

grit your teeth, kick off your boots, & take the plunge; jukes's had more (verbal) slaps than smoochies, but he's got no deep regrets, except for mist opportunities!

:hug: you'll have *this* shoulder to cry on if it doesn't work out.


ck PM.

[Mara Steele]

16. Thanks, jukes! PMd you back

You guys help me sort things out, so much. I'm sure I'm making something out of nothing.

I have to just relax and chill.

It's all good...

:hi:

:pals:

[Taverner]

6. Maybe I'm a cynic but

I don't beleive in love...in the sense that one is "in love"

Too many times of feeling that I was "in love" once, later to have things turn sour, or not be reciprocated, or losing that feeling.

[Mara Steele]

8. see... i am actually talking about friendship, a human

necessity, and what i feel to be the ultimate kind of love.

... it is spiritual, there is no physical desire to get in the way of the bond of souls, besides the need for chaste and sweet affection, as in, the hug for hello and goodbye, etcetera.

After years of difficult illness, and the solitude that it forced me to live in, I am in love with love, in the pure and beautiful form of friendship. Addicted to feeling this connection with another person, with feeling alive, and understood, and nurtured by another, very special person, who I feel very fortunate to know.

So, I do believe in love, deeply. I believe in interdependence, and when we recognize interdependence, and feel thankful for it, then we feel love.

I believe there are MANY kinds of love, too, but ultimately all of them make us vulnerable. Even a simple, compassionate, and universal love for humankind. When you let yourself feel that, you suddenly feel a torrent of the world's pain and suffering, and that's scary.

[flamingyouth]

7. It's the best weakness to have, Mara

I never thought I could ever love again, or worse, that anyone would ever love me. However, I was delightfully proven wrong.

You, however, have the whole world ahead of you. As an woman of "ma'am" age (LOL), let me give you some advice. Take the chance, dive in and make the most of every minute you have.

:loveya:

[jukes]

10. flamingyouth

much more elegant than my clumsy prose, but essentially the same truth.

am sincerely glad you've found a solace for your pain.

[Mara Steele]

11. thank you, ma'am!

:D

Hey, I actually got called "ma'am" at the paint store the other day! It truly don't mean nothin!!

On the other hand, a Jehovah's witness called me "sir" from behind, the other day, until she saw my face. Boy, was she taken aback!! Ha ha ha!! :D

Thanks, Lisa! :pals:

I just have to give my friend a certain amount of his own time, I think. Drives me nuts waiting, though, even though I've got a ton of stuff to do. He's one of those damn introverts ;) - and yes, we are only friends! (If you want my take on platonic love, it's in the post prior to this one.)

Why should doubting thoughts creep into my brain!! I'm supposed to be an overconfident megalomaniac, goddamn it! :D

And I am SO happy for you and your new found love, Lisa!

Love takes many forms, I don't ever believe one is better than the other, but for me right now, I guess I'm doing a "study" on friendship, it's simply a dream come true for me, I need the simplicity right now. And as you see, I make even simple things complex, so you can imagine what a wreck I would be if this were a romance!

With love,

m.

[flamingyouth]

15. I was shown in a very dramatic way how many people love me

And how many I love when my life reached its lowest point. Since all of the unpleasantness, I find myself hugging a lot more, telling people I love them when we end phone calls, etc. It just feels good. Maybe it makes a person more vulnerable to hurt; I can totally understand that. But I also think that in this scary world filled with so much heartbreak all the time, it's a wonderful way to live.

Love,
Lisa

[Mara Steele]

20. Yes, a beautiful and vulnerable way to live life

& a balancing act, for sure! :scared:

We all certainly do love you, Lisa!

:hug: :hug:

:hi:

[flamingyouth]

21. I think the amount of love shown here to Mari proves my point

People here are amazing, generous and wonderful. I like to think a lot of what we see here in terms of love and support for one another shows the difference between us and the RW. We love, they hate. Pretty simple. :D

[Mara Steele]

25. Exactly right!!

Poor Mari.

Poor Tony, Poor Paddy, poor surfermaw too.

:cry:

what an awful week on the boards.

[flamingyouth]

29. Yes, I shouldn't have left the others out

Paddy, Tony and surfermaw, you're in all of our thoughts.:grouphug:

Not been a great week.

[Fenris]

14. Delightfully proven wrong...

As was I.:loveya:

[flamingyouth]

17. Awww

:loveya::cry:

[Beware the Beast Man]

9. My goodness, what a bunch of haters!

Love is beautiful, but I'll agree that it sucks when you feel as if it's not being reciprocated.

[Nikia]

12. It does make one vulnerable

At times, it does seem like a risk not worth taking. It does open you up to a lot of pain. Love in all forms is wonderful though and a very human need.

[HEyHEY]

13. Trust me, if you develop a good alcohol dependency it all goes away!

:-)

[Mara Steele]

18. ha, ha ,ha!! i'm surely on my way there, bud!!

:D

:beer: :beer:

:toast:

[HEyHEY]

19. There we go!

Bottom's up!

[CrownPrinceBandar]

22. Hell yes!............................

I've kinda crawled into a hole since my longtime girlfriend and I split. I know I'll have to get out there and try again sometime. Being single has its perks, but I still haven't gotten used to sleeping alone.

Good luck, Madame Steele!

[Mara Steele]

23. Thank you, foamdad!

Am trying to find a balance between my little-kid earnestness, and the grown-up wish to "not stalk" people. It's tough...

I just wanna hang out all day, every day, and trade marbles,and go for walks, etc, chew gum, with this new friend of mine!!

He makes me feel like I'm about ten again, only w/a super philosophical streak that makes me remember we're adults...

(And for the record, we're JUST friends. My first good friend in a long time, though.)

[CrownPrinceBandar]

24. Sounds idyllic........................

I wish I could do that too. Hanging out with members of the opposite sex (in my case) without all the attractiveness issues and sexual baggage; it would be liberating. I admire young children for their lack of gender pressure. Its all the same to them.

[Mara Steele]

26. idyllic when we're together

so idyllic, i can barely trust it's reality.

I only pray this is for real.

I love my guy friends, for the same reason you enjoy the company of your guy friends, I'm sure.

No sexual attraction, just buddy love...

[WindRavenX]

27. loves a biatch...

...it makes you weak and strong at the same time. And insane.
I don't think I'll ever recover...

[eyesroll]

28. Scary, but one of the better parts of being human

:hug:

Hang in there.

[MirrorAshes]

30. Feeling yourself distinigrate...

[Mara Steele]

31. who's this guy>?

:shrug:

:hi:

Yes, it is like that, kind of. :mad:

[MirrorAshes]

32. The pics are of Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips

And the line is from one of their songs from the album "The Soft Bulletin". Its pretty much my favorite album, but is really hard to listen to sometimes. It plays like a relationship, going from blistering highs to crushing lows. "Feeling Yourself Distinigrate" is a mostly instrumental song that hits very very hard...

When I read your post, it was the first thing that popped into my head.

I will tell you one thing though, the album, though it gets very dark towards the end, ends on a hopeful and happy note. I wish you all the best...and well, you're not alone.

:hug:

:hi:

[Mara Steele]

33. Thank you, Mirror Ashes!!

Nice to meet you, too.

:hug:

:hi:

[Champ]

34. Hello M-Jean

:hi:

I'm sure whoever that person is loves you right back, you really a great person and whoever that person has no reason not to love you back imo.

[Mara Steele]

35. Champ, you rock!

Thank you. That is so sweet, and just what I needed to hear...

You're a great person, too, I've really missed you on the boards.

You were one of my first good DU buds,ya know.

Hope to see ya around!

:hug:

:pals: :yourock: