I have a dark confession to make:

[Elidor]

After seeing F911 twice in one week, I've really taken a liking to John Ashcroft's dulcet tones and musical stylings on "Let the Eagle SOOOAAR!!!" All this guy needs is a smoking jacket and a cigar to be a hit on the Holiday Inn karaoke circuit. He's every bad tv ad for a has-been music act from the '70s you've ever seen. I love it. Better than Bill Murray. Does he have a video? Can I pay to see him live? (And can I drink at the show?)

[name not needed]

1. Let the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaagles soooooar

:)

[Elidor]

4. Like she's never soared before! From rocky coast to golden shore!!!

Let the mighty eagle SOOOOOOAR!!!!

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. John Ashcroft LIVE!

here's his smash hit "Let the Eagle Soar" Live at some Christian Fundie college. Now you can play it anytime you want http://www.cnn.com/video/us/2002/02/25/ashcroft.sings.wbtv.med.html

[Dude_CalmDown]

5. I just vomited in my mouth

Thanks.

[Elidor]

6. Thank you, kind soul, for sharing.

Have you found Ashcroft, too?

[Reverend_Smitty]

9. I'm waiting for him to come to the Philly area...

and keeping my eyes fixed on ticketmaster, I want to get me some front row seats...wonder what he would do if I threw my bra up on stage for him (like at a Tom Jones concert) would he have me covered by a $3000 curtain too? :D

[Elidor]

11. I'm thinking pay-per-view.

You don't get people throwing their bras at John Ashcroft while he sings just every day. Perhaps he could host a rave.

[Reverend_Smitty]

13. lol...

I'd go just to experience the sheer absurdity of it all

[BootinUp]

8. gee thanks

I could only take about 10 seconds of that. ;)

[alittlelark]

3. eeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!

Knock off the hard stuff!

But, now that the song has been playing in my head for a minute or so, I'm beginning to understand... Leeet the eaaaagle Soooooooooaaaar.....

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

7. It's like Mel Effing Torme with a law degree! n/t

[Elidor]

12. That's it exactly!

Except John is as good a lawyer as he is a singer, which is to say, terrible.

[Bertha Venation]

16. Oh, heavens! You can't compare John Ashcroft to Mel Torme.

You see, the difference is that Mel was a musician and Mel could sing.

[bo44]

10. May the eagle caca on asskkrak's parade

[BlueJazz]

14. John Ashcroft has Real talent ...not like some No Talent Hacks I know

LOL! (Sorry folks..it's an inside joke)

[Bertha Venation]

15. Take it from a former fundy. He would be a BIG HIT in any

Baptist church on a Sunday morning. Right between the announcements (which are after a hymn, which is after the offering, which is after the choir, which is after a hymn) and the sermon.

[Elidor]

17. John Ashcroft's Greatest Hits

Yes, for just 19.95 you get not one but TWO CDs of John's velvety vocals singing your favorite gospel and modern songs, including old standards such as "Mean-hearted Woman," "Midnight Special," "I got a Woman," "Plastic Jesus," and more!

And if you act now, we'll include this John Ashcroft Action Figure(tm)! He prays! He sings! He arrests evildoers in Jesus' name! Amen! And that's not all! The first fifty callers get an authentic piece of the One True Cross! And a backstage pass to the opening night of John's Comeback Tour: The Soulful Sounds of Jesus.