A secret call to Moscow from an undisclosed location

[lil-petunia]

Ring Ring

"Hey there, Putie Poot! How's your hammer hangin? "


"Fine, fine. And your sickle? Sorry, Comrade, jest a little Texan humor."

"Say, I heard about dem two old Aeroplunk planes that crashed. I am sorry, Putie. Have you found out who done it?"

"Really? Both by explosives? My my. They bad. The terra-ists used real live pilots in our attack, but we haven't caught them people yet. I have my boys out lookin for them still."

"Yes, I just said that. We are still looking for the pilots, Putie. You think I'm gonna sit here and let them get away with hijackin and crashin a plane into the Pentagon? Not this Texan. And wait and see what I do when we catch 'em pilots."

"Say, did you have any warning, or is your KBG as bad as my CIA? Daddy had em organized right, but these new boys, well, they're not Texan, if you know what I mean."

"Hey, Putie, the reason I called. Heard that you ran a little ole election down in Chechinski land down near you. Yeah. Yeah. Really? That's fine news. Way to go, Putie."

"So what was the voter turn out? That much? 84% is pretty high, heckfire, we don't get more 'n 40% here. And they all voted for your man?"

"Well, Putie, that's the reason why I called. How'd you do that? No, both. The 85% thing AND the 79% of the vote."

"Wait, hold your britches. Hey, Karl? Get on the other line and listen, wouldja? Ok, Putie, say that again. A hah. uh huh. Huh. HUH. Hummmm. What you think, Karl? Can we stuff all the ballots before the vote? No? Why the hell not?"


"Oh, electronic ballots. That means selectrons and things, huh? Why can't we stuff them full of selectrons ahead of the vote? Look into it, why don't you."

"So, Putie, again, sorry about them two planes. Did you catch those pilots there? If you need our help on that, let me know. Never mind? Ok. And thanks for the advice on the voting thing. Give my best to your wife, and remember, next time you are here, you get to grill the burgers, and I keep the bourbon flowing, Okeey dokey? Bye bye, now, tvar-itch. "