Things you'd rather do than watch the Repuke Convention in list form

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

I'll start next post

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Pour gas all over my body and light it on fire

[BigMcLargehuge]

2. Watch Australian Soap Operas translated into Chinese, then to German,

finally back to English, on a 13" B/W TV with a shoddy speaker.

[Enrico]

3. Watch Dirty Dancing, and then Havana Nights

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Watch my plants grow

[virgdem]

5. Get a root canal...

eom

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. get a root canal, rectal entry

[jeff30997]

54. ROTFL! Ahhh...That one made my day.

:)

[Endangered Specie]

7. 3 Hours of The Hitler Channel

edit: In a similiar fashion as BMLH.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

8. Bash Each Fingertip With A Hammer and Pull the Nails Off With Pliars

[Lovecrafty]

9. Be sodomized by random blunt objects around the house

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

10. Have root canal work.

Stick knitting needles in my eyes.
Be thrown naked into a Turkish prison.
Get an IRS audit.
Undergo any type of of proctological procedure.
Watch a double feature of "Ishtar" and "Heaven's Gate."

[Zomby Woof]

11. Rub Hot Yak Oil All Over My Throbbing....

No wait, I enjoy that...

[WillyT]

44. LOL !!!

:evilgrin:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

12. Listen to Ashcroft Sing "Let the Eagle Soar"

[AmandaRuth]

15. how about Powell doing YMCA

yowsa!!

[SemiCharmedQuark]

29. LOL! I forgot about that!

[jeff30997]

55. You asked for it !

[SarahB]

13. I just watched most of The Hudsucker Proxy for the zillionth time.

:loveya: Tim Robbins in those cute little 1950's guy suits beat out those fuckwits anytime. Let someone else wade through the garbage of it and I can read the analysis the next day. Don't make me look at it. :scared:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

14. Agree, I LURVE Timmy Robbins

I've watched Shawshank Redemption at least 200 times.

[SarahB]

20. Shawshank was the peak of his yumminess....

Oh, early to mid-90's Tim Robbins, I want you bad!!!!!! :P

[Berserker]

23. I would rather

separate fly shit from pepper than watch the nazicon 2004.

[DemBones DemBones]

16. Have a colonoscopy.

Listen to fingernails grating on a chalkboard.

Eat canned spinach.

[peekaloo]

17. Pick nose, categorize boogers and name each one.

[WillyT]

45. ROFLMAO !!!

Too funny!

:yourock:

[Dukkha]

18. Attend an Insurance seminar then a Timeshare presentation

.

[Mr. Blonde]

19. I'm actually watching it, but to add to the list in the spirit of good fun

stick my peter in a meat grinder.

[dolo amber]

21. Polish the hood of nsma's car

God only knows what mung and drool is on that thing...x(

:D

[BigMcLargehuge]

22. masturbate with a handfull of lightbulb glass

to a magazine spread of John Ashcroft

[Cheswick2.0]

27. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

:cry:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. hurts my penis too!

and IT came in a discreet brown wrapper!

[Cheswick2.0]

39. yeah, but you don't feel it unless the glass get "imbedded"

Of course I would know nothing of such things.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

28. How About with a Fistful of Fiberglass?

[bo44]

35. too funny and you beat me to it

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. Watch Xanadu and Waterworld back to back

[AmandaRuth]

31. lol - then you can follow it up with

grease 2 and Sargent Peppers, all four are probably more thought provoking and have better dialog than what is being forced upon me in my own freakin' home.....:D :D

[Cheswick2.0]

25. Hang out with St Ralph

x(

[amerikat]

26. know your enemy.......watch it as painfull as it is

I have never seen so many people say so many stupid things in one place at one time.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

32. A Hemorrhoidectomy

Or hernia surgery.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

33. Post on this thread through Friday night

[USA_1]

34. What to do?

Post on this board!

There are excellent posters on this board. You guys know your stuff!

[UTUSN]

36. A Repuke Convention---What Could be Worse? n/t

[blondeatlast]

37. Anything. Anything at all. nt

[jakefrep]

38. Urinate on an electric fence.

[put out]

40. Explain to a 15 year old male why saying "that sucks"

is not appropriate. Since, "that sucks" will be his fondest fantasy and maybe one of his favorite sexual things.

So don't say "that sucks".

Other things I'd prefer than watching the convention:

Have a very thorough exam.

Drive home a drunk person who isn't ready to quit partying.

Wipe up puke.

Put a Big Mac in a blender so that someone can eat it.

Watch TV church on Sunday morning.

File my nails with a badger. Use a python to apply my makeup. Comb my hair with a porcupine. Brush my teeth with a rabid hedgehog.

I'll think of more. Oh, yeah

I'd rather use the Epilady on...a Bush?

[sundog]

41. watch a 24 hour Kenny G video marathon

--

[bo44]

42. beat the shit out of a dozen greedy old flaccid hardon for warprikkks

[LynneSin]

43. Spend 48 hours in a hospital with an inflamed colon....

...wait, I've done that already! But I'd rather suffer through that again then watch the repuke prayer fest

[WillyT]

46. Was This BEFORE He Was Secretary Of State ???

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

47. ba da bump!

[LynneSin]

52. An inflamed colon, not an Enraged Colin

:crazy:

This:


Not This:
http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,240362,00.jpg

[HEyHEY]

48. Jerk-off in front of my parents

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

49. haha!

[Dookus]

50. oh pshaw

I've jerked off in front of your parents. It was no big deal.

[jeff30997]

56. ROTFL !!!

OMG! I think i broke a rib ! LOL !

[Bundbuster]

51. just a few things...

- Hang glide in Hurricane Charley

- Sleep in a rattlesnake den

- Eat Barbara's bush

- Have a Drano enema

- Shave with a chainsaw

- Shower with Rick Santorum

- Ride a lawn mower to Argentina

- Go on a 4-day Richard's Wild Irish Rose bender

- Kiss a baracuda

- Watch Rush's anal cyst ooze

- Listen to a Benny Hinn marathon

- Go 12 rounds with Mike Tyson

- Wake up next to Ann Coulter

[jeff30997]

57. Eat Barbara's bush ? Which one ?

The one with a beautiful mind or the other ? :)

[bookfreak]

53. I'd rather suck rancid tuna salad out of my own a$$,

or scour my boobies off with a rusted SOS pad

or hump a piece of splintered balsa wood!


(This list courtesy of the "The Bloodhound Gang", but it applies to the current situation);-)

[jeff30997]

58. Watch Dookus jerk off in front of HEyHEY's parents.

(See post #50). :)

[Misunderestimator]

59. Ha... hate to say it, but even THAT would even be more entertaining.

[auburngrad82]

60. Have both legs broken by Tony Soprano

[GOPisEvil]

61. Hook electrodes to my genitals, with cables leading to the generators

at Hoover Dam.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

62. ouch

[GOPisEvil]

64. Yeah, you can safely assume I won't watch any of the RNC.

I don't have the cash to replace my TV. :D

[cmf]

63. Pull out my toenails one by one

with rusty pliers.

[redqueen]

65. Gouge my eyes out.

[arbusto_baboso]

66. Chew on a ball of aluminum foil.

[arbusto_baboso]

67. Shave my butt with a cheese grater, then sit in rubbing alcohol.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

70. oh you're good!

[arbusto_baboso]

71. That ain't nuthin. How 'bout "Perform liposcution on Rush Limbaugh...

using nothing but a drink straw and sheer lung power"?

[Commendatori]

68. Go bobbing for "freedom" fries and then slap on some Old Spice

[jus_the_facts]

69. poke m'eyes out with a rusty nail...then stick said nail in m'ears too...

:evilfrown:

[terrya]

72. Watch a Pauly Shore film festival.

[SOteric]

73. Eat an entire bucket of molded-over, rotting garden slugs.

[DS1]

81. Oh great, ~you~ get all the good drugs

:eyes: :7

[lapislzi]

74. shove burning spears in my eyes

[Misunderestimator]

75. Watch an Adam Sandler Marathon...

or go without sex for about three weeks... ;)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

77. how about 2 weeks and two days?

[Misunderestimator]

78. Even better.

:)

[KamaAina]

76. Move back to the mainland!

So there!

[lpbk2713]

79. Last night I spent the evening with my ex-wife.

Tonight I might look into going for a swim in the shark tank at Sea World. Next night maybe I'll try standing on top of a large fire ant nest for a couple of hours.

[Khephra]

80. I'd rather do all these things in this Weird Al song than watch the GOP

It's a break-up song--in fact, the one I used to get over my first love--but it's easily adapatable to this situation.

---

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die
Than spend one more minute with you

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

82. kick

[IronLionZion]

83. post in Israel/Palestine and Lucianne.com at the same time

[sundog]

84. Be a moderator at the Michael Bolton Fan Club Message Board

--

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

86. HAHAHA!

[alarimer]

85. Read "Applied Linear Statistical Models"

for stat 653. scintillating stuff.

[ronnykmarshall]

87. Listen to Britney Spears sing

w/o out the studio enhancements.