Adopt-an-Italian-Grandad and get £337 per month:

[emad]

BBC News snip:
Italian pensioner seeks adoption

A widowed 80-year-old teacher in Italy has taken a novel step to stop being lonely - advertising for a family willing to adopt him as a grandfather.

Giorgio Angelozzi, whose wife died 14 years ago, placed his appeal in an Italian newspaper over the weekend and has been inundated with replies.

"Families have called me from all over Italy," said Mr Angelozzi, who offered to pay 500 euros (£337) a month.

Italy has seen an increase in older people living alone in recent years.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3612688.stm

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. But he will scare me by putting orange rinds in his mouth.

Then he will die.

Then daddy will ice the heads of the Five Families.

It's really just too much baggage.

[emad]

2. Think of the money!

And maybe the legacy...

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. You broke my heart, emad aisat sana.

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.

[emad]

5. Ok, I'll up it to £400 plus free papal blessing to wipe the slate

clean....

[Fridays Child]

4. Yeah, and you'd get to meet Al Pacino and Robert Duvall.

[liontamer]

6. that poor man

I can't imagine being in a position of such crushing loneliness