Tell me your (fake) problems and I'll try to advise you!

[Guy Fawkes]

Why not? Maybe I could be the next Dan Savage.... (big maybe)

[cheezus]

1. leo is after me

[Guy Fawkes]

2. If I assume that you are referring to a lion...

I suggest that you bait it away with a cow or two.

[terrya]

3. Magnum condoms aren't big enough. Help!

:-)

[Guy Fawkes]

Don't get this thread locked! It's getting too few hits as it is!

on the other hand, I do know how to answer this one...

[whodiedandmadeUSgod]

4. All my jeans are way too big!

[Guy Fawkes]

6. Buy a belt

[lumberingbear]

5. I think I have aliens living in my nose...

they make such a racket during the night!!! What to do??? :shrug:

[Guy Fawkes]

7. Ask them nicely to keep it down at night...

if that doesn't work, call the cops for disturbance of peace. Get the aliens fined!

[name not needed]

8. What about us brain dead slobs?

:D

[Guy Fawkes]

9. You're republican!?

[Debi]

10. I have too much money, my child is perfect and my husband loves me

too much...

[Guy Fawkes]

11. Get a cat....

They only love you when they want attention. It's perfect for the over-loved.

[pagerbear]

12. I can't afford to keep buying pants

...for my ever-shrinking ass.

[Guy Fawkes]

13. You have two options here:

stop buying pants

or

join a nudist colony

[pagerbear]

14. Would a nudist colony accept me?

[Guy Fawkes]

15. Last answer until after 3...

I'm going to my first day of Junior year... Freshmen get morning for orientation.

Anyway....

Yes, depending on the nudist colony. I suggest the you go to google directories and search for nudist colonies. I'm sure that there are some nice ones near you, no matter where you live.

In wisconsin -near here in fact- there is a clothing optional nudist colony. You could go there and where your ill-fitting pants.

[Guy Fawkes]

16. Kick

I'm back. Resume questioning.

[Dan-W]

17. Dear Guy,

In Scotland, is your day celebrated on 05-Nov, or 06-Nov?
Loved them bonfires and fireworks when I was there.

Thanks, Danno

P.S. I blow up reeel good!

[Guy Fawkes]

18. 05

[Lavender Brown]

19. I'm despondent! Help

I ran out of both staples AND paperclips. :cry:

[Guy Fawkes]

20. Tape or mind powers.

[matcom]

21. Dear Guy

I'm a Lesbian.

and I have a goatee

i'm hungry

my bellybutton itches

can you help?

[Guy Fawkes]

24. yes, but you disgust me too much.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

22. Dear Guy, why does my husband tell me almost every eving over dinner

that he wants to go to prison? :shrug:

[Guy Fawkes]

25. If he starts talking about soap right afterwards...

I think he wants a little something in the bedroom.

[Texasgal]

23. Dear Guy,

My bust is rather large, and I have a hard time finding blouses that button. Advise please.

[Guy Fawkes]

26. Next time you have a sculpter make you a bust...

have him or her make it a little smaller. Until then, your bust will have to remain naked.