Best joke I've heard all week

[Squeech]

Osama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven.

First thing that happens to him is, George Washington comes up and punches him in the nose, knocking him down.

Osama gets up, dusts himself off, and the next thing he knows, Thomas Jefferson comes up and punches him in the nose, knocking him down.

Once again Osama gets up, only to have James Madison come up and punch him in the nose.

So Osama looks around for some help, and as it happens, Saint Peter is walking by. So Osama calls out to ask him what's going on.

Saint Peter says, "Oh, I meant to tell you about this. It seems there has been a transcription error. It was supposed to say that when you get to Heaven, you meet 72 Virginians!"

[Dookus]

1. heheh

James Madison would need a stepladder to punch him in the nose. Osama is around 6'5", and Madison was 5'4".

[madinmaryland]

3. Thanks for making me smile.

Been a crappy day so far.

:7

[ironflange]

4. OK

Madison punches him in the nuts, then.

[miss_kitty]

6. it's heaven

maybe madison gets to be tall there...

BTW, i have something in my mouse, here: Unfit For Command

[joefree1]

2. I love Heaven and Hell jokes, here's another

Donald Rumsfeld dies and is sent to Hell. Satan decides to personally escort the famous Secratary of Defense. The Devil takes Rummy to that part of Hell reserved for politicians. Satan shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.

So Satan opens the first door. In this room there are various people he remembers from the Ford administration standing in shit up to their waist. But Donald says "no,please show me the next room".

Satan shows him the next room and this has cabinet staff he remembers from the Reagan administration. But here they're standing with shit up to their ears, so he says no again.

Finally Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people he worked with in the Nixon administration. Here there is only shit up to their knees and they're drinking cups of coffee and eating cakes. So Donald says I'll choose this room please. Satan says O.K. and leaves Donald to greet his old buddys.
Five seconds later, a demon strolls in, and screams "OK you repukes, coffee breaks over, BACK ON YOU'RE HEADS!!"

Got more?


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[ironflange]

5. Dubya dies and goes to Hell

He goes on the obligatory tour, and is surprised to come across a naked Cheney with an equally naked Marilyn Monroe on his lap. Bush says, "Hey Dick, you were the worst one of the bunch, what's with the cushy gig?" Cheney snarls, "She's not my reward, I'm her punishment!"

[CBHagman]

7. A very old one from the divided Germany.

A German dies and is sent to hell. The devil on duty brings him to a pile of boards and nails and explains the procedures.

"What's going to happen here?" asks the German.

"Well, we nail you to those boards, torture you, and then we throw you in the lake of fire," says the devil.

"That's no fun," says the German. "Don't I have any alternative?"

"Well, you can go next door, to the East German hell."

So the German goes next door and talks to the devil on duty. "What's going to happen to me here?"

"Well, we nail you to a board, torture you, and then throw you in the lake of fire."

"But that's the same as the other hell! I'm going back," huffs the German.

"Oh, don't do that," says the devil. "Sometimes we run out of boards, and sometimes we run out of nails, and sometimes we run out of matches. You could stay here forever!"

[Kid_A]

8. Any joke that starts with "Osama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven"

has a pretty big strike against it right out of the gate.

It did make me chuckle, though...