What do you think of paying for sex?

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

I don't want to discuss whether it should be legal, but I am interested in what people think of it morally. Is it possible to do so in a non-expolitive way? If you think it is morally acceptable, is it something you would do? Would you feel guilty.

I'm just wondering.

[Skuk]

1. If

its consenting adults, and its "safe sex" who cares?

[LiberalVoice]

2. If you're willing to pay for it why should I care.

I'd prefer someone use their money to buy a hooker then a gun.

Now me personally, I would never pay for it. Not because I think it's wrong. Just because, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, it's pretty easy to get without money.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

I love that picture.

It would look great framed.

[LiberalVoice]

42. I like your SN.

Great song!

[Endangered Specie]

3. NO sex threads!

Hey, my morals say that two people, if they both want to, can do whatever they want to together.

[qwertyMike]

4. I was walking home from the store

tonight, and a girl, no older than my daughter who has just moved near me to go to college, asked "Do you want a date". She was so young, and very attractive. Didn't know what to say. I gave her $10.

So sad.
:(

[mongo]

66. You just bought her 10 minutes worth of crack.

Don't feed the animals.

[retread]

67. Bullshit!

*

[BlueJazz]

5. Only if She wants to give me a LOT of money.

I may be a Whore but I'll be damn if I'll be a cheap Whore. :)

[Veggie Meathead]

6. I have been telling my wfe for a long time that I would like to get

paid for sex and each time she tells me to hit the road.

[johnnie]

7. Don't we all pay for it in some way?

:shrug: What's the difference?

[gmoney]

8. Morally?

Well, I think "morally" paying a prostitute is the same "sin" as having any sex outside of marriage, right? But morality exists only between your own ears, so whatever.

I'd settle for getting some either way, myself...

[BiggJawn]

9. Very emotional subject....

Look at it like this.
Your ESSO or Spouse or Partner might cook for you sometimes, maybe evn every day. And if you eat lunch or dinner away from home, they USUALLY don't get bent all out of shape.

Go out and buy a little "sweaty snuggle-bunnies", however....

Pesronally, I don't see what the attraction is. I knew a vice cop who'd show me his "Ho Book" to see if any of his "girls" were working my hood. Yuck.

[Pithlet]

63. When was the last time

Someone brought home a deadly disease to their SO from eating away from home?

I don't know about anyone else, but having sex and eating a slice of pizza are two entirely different experiences. So, you're right about the emotional aspect. But, I don't think you can really equate the two things morally, either, for that reason as well as the risk you put your partner at cheating, particularly with a professional.

[shawcomm]

10. You pay for it regardless...

at least with prostitutes, you know how much ahead of time.

[Cheswick2.0]

24. offensive statement

What a thing to say about women. x(

[shawcomm]

33. You're the one assuming

all prostitutes are women. So go offend yourself.

My meaning covered prostitutes of all genders.

[Cheswick2.0]

48. yeah right

you statement was offensive

[shawcomm]

56. I didn't mean to offend you. I apologize.

I was just making a joke about how much one pays in stress, finances, sleep, in maintaining a relationship with sex as part of the picture, be it with man, woman, goat - whatever.

The joke was that at least with a prostitute, the price is defined, only money and with no add-ons or relationship baggage.

[RetroLounge]

57. Uhm, you're the one who hangs out at DU looking

to be offended.

If I were gay, and I say this about my partner, who is a man, would that still be offensive to you?

Or is it only a feminist type thing with you?

You outrage has gotten boring...

RL

[miss_kitty]

11. it depends. how much do you want to pay me?

[Cobalt Violet]

12. I think that it does exploit the economic disadvantage of others,

Like most cheap labor jobs.

[FloridaPat]

13. If the money went to the girls and not the pimps I could care less.

But here again is another career where the woman does all the work and the man gets most of the money for doing pretty much nothing but being a jerk.

[LanternWaste]

14. I don't think it can be done in a non-exploitive way

I don't think it can be done in a non-exploitive way as I honestly don't think there are any street-prostitutes that decided as young girls, "I wanna be a hooker when I grow up! That's my dream in life."

I believe that the vast majority of people who engage in this, do so out of desperation.

It certainly does not fit within the framework of my morality, although I would never look down on anyone who feels forced into that line of "work" (although I do look down on the customers...)

[Axiomatization]

15. Cash or check????

No really, who cares? Nevada doesn't care in some counties and it is regulated...

One question though, if the check bounces, how to you reclaim a BJ?

[BlackVelvetElvis]

16. My mother tells me you don't know where it's been.

I agree with her.
Other than the hygenic aspects of sharing with others, I believe there is no way it can be non-exploitive. One of them will always have the power and I'm sure the other wouldn't be participating out of love or the goodness of their hearts. I also doubt any one paying would really care if the other got what they wanted physically out of it...that's a nice way of putting it.

[Axiomatization]

18. The hygenic aspects, I understand, however......

If either sex is asking for money concerning their bodies, shouldn't they be allowed too? The parties involved understand "the deal".

[BlackVelvetElvis]

20. I understand your point

But is it moral? Is it ethical? That was the question the poster asked. As a woman, I see the woman's point of view, of course. I also have a friend who is an ex-prostitute and have heard her stories.
Maybe I'm biased. So be it.

[Cheswick2.0]

22. Yes, that's what your Mother said right after she hit the streets

last night.

Only kidding of couse, but put it in terms of your mother or daughter and suddenly it's not such a good idea anymore.

[Axiomatization]

25. I'm not saying it's a good idea for anybody but.......

If they want to, who is it to stop them. I think Nevada has struck a pretty good balance.....

[BlackVelvetElvis]

26. Has anyone ever asked those women in Nev...

if they wanted to become prostitutes when they grew up?
I doubt any of them would say that.
I wonder if they were able to get a job that pays roughly the same if they would give up the business.
I don't know the answer, just curious.

[Axiomatization]

27. Same could be said of the porn industry......

Nobody is forcing men or women into that industry yet there seems to be an endless supply of "actors and actress's". Nobody is forcing anybody in Nevada to prostitute either if it is a legal establishment...

[BlackVelvetElvis]

29. It may be legal

but is it right?
Someone is being exploited in these situations. Just because they make a big stack of cash, does that make it better?
That's the question I ask.
Like I said, I come from a different perspective. I've seen the mental harm that can occur, the circumstances from where it comes from and I think it's wrong to exploit someone.

[Axiomatization]

30. I'm not saying I approve but.....

how does one say no to a lady or a man who wants to use their own bodies to make money?

[BlackVelvetElvis]

31. Okay.

I guess this is the essence of the dialogue.
I think people should be free to make their own decisions (within the law), but in keeping with the original question, I think it's wrong on so many levels.

[Axiomatization]

32. Who determines what is "within the law"...

when dealing with peoples bodies? The christian right agrees with most feminists about porn and prostitution. If you end up agreeing with them on that level, how can one not agree with them on the other levels?

[BlackVelvetElvis]

34. That's an easy one.

You're kidding right?
Who determines the law: Well we all do.
That's about the only thing feminists and the RW agree on (and not all of them even agree on that).
The answer is:
Be your own person and think for yourself. Don't let someone else do your thinking for you. I can only speak for myself in this matter.
Why would I (or anyone) agree with the entire RW because I don't agree with prostitution? That's lame. I'm not a robot.

[Axiomatization]

35. Not saying you are

but, whenever I end up agreeing with someone on the right, I take a mental check and make sure that I have covered all the bases.

As for the feminists among us, I suspect that most have a very similar view of prostitution and porn that the christian right does....Doesn't mean they have to agree on everything. It also depends on the journey one takes to that opinion.....

[BlackVelvetElvis]

37. That's okay!

No we don't have to agree on everything. No one does, nor do I expect it to be that way. I came to my own conclusion (because of my own experiences) and I stick by it.

[Axiomatization]

39. Lets end it here then on some sort of agreement......

:toast: :toast:

I think I head to bed now...

[BlackVelvetElvis]

40. Me too. Good night!

[onebigbadwulf]

17. Women generally don't give sex without payment upfront...

whether it be cash, alcohol, dinner, movie, or your soul.

Sex always has a price.

[Cheswick2.0]

23. offensive statement

I won't even debate how offensive your statement is.

[Pithlet]

59. What a load

Women never have sex beacause they enjoy it? Because they love the person they're with? It's always for gain? I'm sorry, but such a general statement about all women is sexist to say the least.

[Cheswick2.0]

19. prostitution is not a victimless crime

Just imagine if your daughter came home and said she was a prostitute. I don't think you would be too pleased.
No I would not do it. I wouldn't pay for it and I don't think it is morally acceptable, not in terms of sin and all that...but because it is self distructive and dangerous. I think it marginalizes the people taking the money and the people paying the money.

[Guy Fawkes]

36. If my daughter (if I had one) came to me...

and told me she was a prostitue, I would make sure that she was A) doing it legaly in Nevada, B) hard-core tested for STDs, C) always used protection and was on the pill.

In 2 counties (or is it just one?) in Nevada, prostitution is considered a legit business. They are very carefull about who they have as clientell and as workers.

[Cheswick2.0]

49. I do not believe that

If you had a daughter you would do no such thing and if you would then for the sake of some female soul floating around out there, I am profoundly greatful that you don't have a daughter.

[Guy Fawkes]

64. I don't want people telling me who I can or can't sleep with...

I'm not going to turn around and do the same thing to someone else.

[Liberal Veteran]

70. You are correct: It's not a crime at all.

If someone chooses to exchange sexual favors for money, I fail to see the criminal act.

You may not APPROVE of it, but it isn't a crime.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

21. Some would argue all pay for it

[Pithlet]

60. Yes, and those who argue that

are usually projecting their own beliefs on everyone else. Because their point of view is "nothing for free", they believe that everyone else must feel that way, too. It's a dumb argument that is usually rooted in sexism.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

69. Yes but almost every guy has met women...

who judge our worth as a person by our net worth. That too is rather sexist.

[Pithlet]

71. And?

I've met sexist men, does that mean all men are sexist? Of course not.

[Nikia]

28. It is exploitive and wrong

The prostitute ceases to be a person and become only an object. She often has sex with several men every day who care nothing for her, who she normally wouldn't want to have sex with, merely because they are giving her the cash that she needs to survive. Aren't women (or in some cases, men) more than sex objects?

[BrotherBuzz]

38. My divorced friend living in a busted down apartment says....

Anything that flies, floats, or fucks.....is cheaper to rent. I think he has some issures to resolve.

[Swamp Rat]

41. Since I do not believe in that thing called "morality," I think it is fine

... as long as she pays me well.

[SarahB]

43. I doubt I'd ever need to.

:shrug:

Actually in terms of legalized prostitution, I think it should be taxed and heavily regulated, the workers frequently tested, lots of safeguards like they have in the brothels that are legalized. It's something that will always be there, so we might as well make sure the workers have some protection.

In terms of me personally, it does not mean I would necessarily respect a man who used their services because it does seem like they're just paying another human being for use of their body without any other regard to who she is, but men pick up women in bars all the time doing the same thing without payment and women allow it to happen, so at least this is upfront, honest, and there's no pretending anything else.

Overall, I tend to be a libertarian about these types of laws. I feel the same way about most drugs. I'm not an indulger myself and I want little to do with it, but it seems regulating human behavior is usually a futile effort.

[Cuban_Liberal]

44. Between two consenting adults, I have no problem with it.

It's the sale of a service, as far as I'm concerned.

:shrug:

[Deja Q]

45. As long as there is money, EVERYTHING can be exploited.

As far as being promiscuous, as long as people get checked before doing the horizontal bouncey-wouncie, I haven't any problems with it at all.

I prefer a monogamous LTR, but that may or may not happen. Why wait? (but I still choose who I ultimately say 'Yes' to.)

Regarding paying for it: A regulated brothel with pre-testing facilities is quite acceptable.

[Cuban_Liberal]

46. I can't agree.

I believe a sex worker can rationally decide to exchange a service (sex) for money without being exploited, just like a plumber and a customer with a leaky faucet can.

[Dookus]

47. exactly

Almost ALL labor is exploitative to a degree. If a mutually agreed upon price can be found for the exploitation, then go for it.

I'd like to address some of the arguments raised here:

As above, yes, it could be exploitative. So is hiring a housekeeper.

As to it "objectifying" women, it doesn't do so anymore than hiring a model or actor. It also ignores that many sex-workers are men.

As to "do you want your daughter to do it", no, but I wouldn't want her to be a coal-miner, a soldier or a Halliburton executive, either. That doesn't mean the law should prohibit her from doing any of those things.

[Cheswick2.0]

50. but the question was not about the law

The question was about whether it's right to pay for sex. While I wouldn't want my child to do any number of jobs I would also try to convince them not to do those jobs. However there is an order to things. If I had a choice between digging ditches and prostitution I would rather my son dug ditches.
Also, just because boys are exploited sexually doesn't make it right and it doesn't change the fact that women and girls are disproportionately penalized by or society as sexual objects.

[Nikia]

53. Sex is often an emotionally charged thing

Sex can be a loving act. It can be a passionate act. It also can be an act of power and violence. Sex is a biological desire that most adults have. Very powerful biochemical events occur in anticipation, during, and after sex. When a woman orgasms, bonding hormones are given off, the same hormones given off during pregnancy. Women aren't just socialized to want their partner to stick around, our hormones are telling us that we want our partner to stick around. Sex is an act that most married couples and most couples in serious relationships expect from one another. It is often part of defining the seriousness of the relationship. For many couples, sex with someone outside of the relationship causes hurt feelings and often leads to the couple breaking up or divorcing if they are married.
Let us return to our prostitute. Many, but maybe not all, prostitutes have been sexually abused. They are having sex with several different men everyday, men who almost always care nothing about them. For street walkers, the entire encounter is usually only sexual. How do you think that she views the sex act? Let's say that during her work or perhaps after she gives it up, she is in a relationship. How do you think that she views sex? Can it be a loving, positive thing?
Sex isn't just like any other job. Your house might be a little messing if you hate cleaning after working as a maid for years. If you hate sex...

[Dookus]

55. well

I think first we have to separate the arguments. This is about the "morality" of paying for sex, not about whether streetwalkers are exploited or have been molested. I agree with you that many are, and nobody here is defending that.

There ARE instances where prostitution is legal and doesn't occur at the "street-walker" level. Prostitutes in Amsterdam, for instance, are well-regulated, well-protected and well-paid. Perhaps it is the fact that we've created an illegal, underground black market in sex that contributes to the exploitation of the women involved.

Is it equally wrong to pay a high-priced call girl, who may see a handful of upscale clients per week? I used to live with such a woman - she certainly wasn't turned off to sex because of her "night job".

We hire people for their physical attributes all the time. We hire people who please our eyes (models and actors) and our ears (singers and actors) and our bodies (massage therapists, etc.) for some jobs and nobody finds that remarkable. It is only when the pleasure is overtly sexual that the morality police jump in. If a person freely chooses to sell sexual satisfaction, I don't have a problem with it. And note I said "FREELY" sell it, not under coercion or threat.

[Nikia]

58. For some people, that is part of morality

There are some people who find it immoral to eat because animals are being killed and sometimes mistreated before they are killed. There are some people who find it immoral to buy certain products or from certain companies because workers are abused and virtually slaves. I find paying for sex immoral for myself and most healthy adults because the prostitutes are being exploited. In my opinion it is a more serious exploitation than the exploitation of legal American workers.
I would agree that the service that "escorts" and highly paid call girls perform is less exploitive than street walking. They are having sex with fewer men, often have more nonsexual interaction with the man than the street walker, and having sex in a safer cleaner environment. Since they are paid better, they are less likely to feel the desperation of the street walker. I still think that it is usually harmful to their long term emotional health and their current or future relationships, but to a lesser degree.
There will always be demand for prostitutes and always a demand for street walkers. Some men just want a quick bj or f--k. Maybe, it would be safer if it were legalized. That doesn't mean it is moral.

[MrSandman]

51. I won't accept American Express...nt

Non exploitive way? Morally acceptable? Guilty?

My guess is that these would depend on the context of the transaction.

IMHO, it is difficult to allow sex for $$$ w/o encouraging the establishment of an exploitive "industry." I suppose an examination of the history of prostitution would better answer these questions than I can.

[Christof]

52. If people want to pay for sex, let them.

I have nothing against two consenting adults who want to exchange funds for sex and sexual-related acts.

[welshTerrier2]

54. it should be tax deductible

well, maybe only if you're over 65 or so ...

[Pithlet]

61. If it is 100% consent on both sides of the transaction.

Then I don't believe the law has any right to step in. I think that it is morally wrong for anyone who is in a committed relationship to participate without knowledge from their partner. That is where my morality meter dips down. But, I just don't think that is an area the law has any business in.

[Kenny the Croat]

62. well...

Dating is prostitution anyway, only you pay more.

[Nikia]

68. Dating is more than sex

It is also about having a mutually good time and getting to know someone better. Sometimes it leads to a relationship for mutual benefits for both partners that just aren't sex or money.
Prostitution is just about sex. It is true that some prostitution interactions might include more than sex, but generally that is not the idea behind visiting a prostitute, especially a street walker or brothel.
Relationships aren't just about sex even for most men. If that were the case, men with decent qualities and ability to meet other women wouldn't be so upset if their relationships ends.

[Liberal Veteran]

65. How much are planning to pay me?

LOL