if you havent seen it yet, here's DU's transcript of the Bush Daughters

[UpsideDownFlag]

BUSH TWINS: It's great to be here. We love Arnold. Isn't he awesome?

AUDIENCE: Yay!

BUSH TWINS: Thanks to him, if one of us ever decides to marry a Democrat, nobody can complain.

AUDIENCE: Yay! Uh, wait a second...

BUSH TWINS: Gammie, we love you dearly, but you're just not very hip. She thinks "Sex and the City" is something married people do, but never talk about.

AUDIENCE: Sex what now?

BUSH TWINS: We spent the last four years trying to stay out of the spotlight. Sometimes, we did a little better job than others.

AUDIENCE: I don't get this. Why are they making jokes about being arrested for underage drinking?

BUSH TWINS: We kept trying to explain to my dad that when we are young and irresponsible, well, we're young and irresponsible.

AUDIENCE: And why on earth would they bring up that whole embarrassing cocaine thing again? I'm confused.

BUSH TWINS: Besides, since we've graduated from college, we're looking around for something to do for the next few years. Kind of like dad.

AUDIENCE: Argh, do they actually want him to LOSE?

BUSH TWINS: You know all those times when you're growing up and your parents embarrass you? Well, this is payback time on live TV.

AUDIENCE: Um, NO SHIT.

BUSH TWINS: Take this. I know it's hard to believe, but our parents' favorite term of endearment for each other is actually "Bushy."

AUDIENCE: Make it stop. Please make it stop.

BUSH TWINS: And we had a hamster, too. Let's just say ours didn't make it.

AUDIENCE: Oh, the pain.

BUSH TWINS: But, contrary to what you might read in the papers, our parents are actually kind of cool. They do know the difference between mono and Bono.

AUDIENCE: Mongo and Bongo?

BUSH TWINS: When we tell them we're going to see Outkast, they know it's a band and not a bunch of misfits. And if we really beg them, they'll even shake it like a Polaroid picture.

AUDIENCE: I have no clue what any of that means.

BUSH TWINS: So, OK, maybe they have learned a little pop culture from us, but we've learned a lot more from them about what matters in life, about unconditional love, about focus and discipline. They taught us the importance of a good sense of humor, of being open-minded and treating everyone with respect. And we learned the true value of honesty and integrity.

AUDIENCE: Yay! Wait a minute, haven't you been arrested like FOUR TIMES?

BUSH TWINS: Ladies and gentlemen, one of the two most loving, thoughtful people we know. Your president and our dad, George W. Bush.

AUDIENCE: Is it over? YES!! Thank you Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Ooh look, my Purple Heart Band-Aid is coming off. Let me just stick that back down.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. Those girls are missing a career opportunity!

Let's just say it involves films and San Fernando Valley. :evilgrin:

[NightTrain]

2. That's the twins' actual speech being quoted above?!

Christ almighty, Ethan Hawke writes better than that!

[UpsideDownFlag]

3. yes.

of course, the audience part is fictional.

[latebloomer]

4. the twins are uniters

EVERYONE, left-wing and right, was appalled by that speech!

[saracat]

5. Written by the incomparable Karen Hughes!

Makes me wonder if she really secretly hates Bushie!