1000th post! and a shocking revealation!

[Tom Kitten]

Yes fellow DUers I promised a bombshell announcement on my 1000th post and therefore I now speak, true to my word...

You see, fellow DUers, I am a "lovechild"...the result of an illicit and sordid tryst between my true biological parents, Karl Rove and Ann Coulter...
I was conceived the night Ronald Reagan was elected president in 1980, I have only recently learned this due to a secret meeting with my true parents that occurred last week during the Republican National Convention...
I learned during this meeting that I was neither planned nor wanted, both parties had other priorities that did not include the rearing of a potentially career damaging "lovechild"...but hey I can understand that...family values do not necessarily have to include the possibilities of lovechildren...
Hence at the early age of three minutes I was adopted by a lovingly amoral couple, a Mr. and Mrs. Dick and Lynnie Effbaum...
However I was let loose to "rove" on my own when I was six and have unfortunately been an economic girlyman ever since...But recently I've been able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and it has not been easy...First I had to find to find a fellow traveller drunk enough to not wake up when I stole the boots off his feet as he slept, then I had to find another pair of boots when I realized the first pair didn't have bootstraps...Through this feat (and a couple of other people's feet) I was able to complete school and graduate with honors...I now present for you my senior class picture, taken with pride and honor...


Although a lot of people say I look like my father, some think I have my mother's eyes and hair! I've recently started a band, the KarlKoulterKrew (KKK for short), and our rapid yet meteoric rise to fame resulted in a contact from my true parents for a secret meeting at the RNC last week...Which is why I post this, for things are finally looking up for me fellow DUers! Although details are still somewhat hazy for me, my newly acquainted family has promised me some unfinished business in Uzbekistan to have taken care of, and, knowing I can live up to their hopes and expectations, have given me a one-way ticket there! So wish me luck, people! I hope to be back soon with lovely tales of adventure and intrigue from a far-off and exotic land!
And for those of you who do not believe this, a friend of mine made this snapshot with a hidden web cam of the three of us waiting for a taxi outside the Garden last week!

[Elidor]

1. LOL

And congrats on a thousand :toast:

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. You do realize...

that I am going to have nightmares tonight thanks to you! That face will haunt my dreams, but congrats on 1000 anyway :toast:

[nini]

3. Congrats on 1000 posts.

I have to go throw up now at that image :puke: :P