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Big Pet Peeve for me: backhanded, nasty compliments.

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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 04:04 PM
Original message
Big Pet Peeve for me: backhanded, nasty compliments.
Of course they're not really compliments, just someone disguising their own bitterness, jealousy, or whatever, or maybe I'm just uptight. I'm told all the time, "Just relax, Sarah. You take everything so seriously." (My sense of humor is fine, but I am pretty analytical about most things.) Anyway, I was at a small party yesterday and got this:
"I hate you because... (insert the compliment by another woman). You must have absolutely no stress in your life!" Followed by, "I should have never sat next to you."

:wtf:

Do people in the world have any tact, civility, or manners left? I just brushed off the nastiness and said a polite "thank you" (while internally wanting to rant to absolutely justify my level of internal stress right now). Despite that particular situation, I go out of my way to be polite and respectful to the vast majority of humanity and yet it seems so many need to sit down and read their Emily Frickin' Post for once in their lives.

On a side note, the best thing about having children:
They keep you busy enough to mostly avoid the inane, chit-chatty conversations with people like this at parties or gatherings one may find oneself in every so often.
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 04:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. You mean people in the "world"
or mainly the US? Just curious what your opinion is.... :-)
Seems most other countries/peoples are much more civil and tactful compared to many arrogant Americans. That's my HO.

I don't like being nasty and petty either and most of the time let it roll off. But for those really, really icky people? :evilgrin: heh heh.. Instead of saying thank you? I say fuckyouverymuch, so fast, blurring and slurring the words together the other person isn't sure whether you actually said thank you or what exactly you said :evilgrin:

Makes me feel better afterwards anyway ;-)

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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 07:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Probably you're right- not the world.
Unfortunately, rarely have I gotten out of the US, but it seems like as far as the US goes, New Englanders can be a bit harsh and not being a native New Englander, but a transplant in my teens (and also as the product of a mid-western mom and a southern dad, I was perhaps raised differently).

I like the fuckyouverymuch though. I don't know if I'd have the nerve, but there are times. :grr:
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. ha ha We switched places...sort of
I'm from Southern Cal. big city beach girl that transplanted to the mid-west. I'd have a hard time re-adjusting to city life now:cry:

And you don't actually have to say, fuckyouverymuch, outloud. Sometimes just muttering it under your breath as you're walking away, or as they are walking away as the case may be, can be quite satisfying.

There are those times though ;-)
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WillyBrandt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
2. This is good: for you, it's a surprisingly grammatical, literate post
JUST KIDDING! I hear what you're saying! :)
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 07:37 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. fuckyouverymuch!!!
:P

:D
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. heh......see!
Feel better now doncha :D
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Pale Blue Dot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 07:46 PM
Response to Original message
5. This is a very good post.
At first I had a hard time believing a woman wrote it!










:evilgrin:
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-06-04 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. I have no comment for you.
You just get a beatin'!!!

:spank: :spank: :spank:
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
9. Now I remember why I don't go to parties...
Well, actually, it's because I never get invited.

And that's OK, because I'm pretty much a social retard, anyway.

My ex-wife used to tell me that all the time when she'd remind me to stay in the corner of the back yard with the grill, behind the deck, not mingling with her friends....
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Gothic Sponge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 12:13 AM
Response to Original message
10. I hate backhanded compliments and passive-aggressive people!
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 09:40 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. why don't people just give real compliments?
Is that so WRONG? ;)
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Bat Boy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 10:07 AM
Response to Original message
12. You'll want to steer clear of my mother...
Just a heads up there.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
13. Know just what you mean
My ex mother in law: "It must be so hard to keep up with things when you have small children." Translation: "Your house is a mess."

My sister: "You look good. You used to be too skinny." Translation: "You're fat."

An acquaintance at work: "Oh, you bought one of those cute little cars. You live nearby - you don't have to worry about gas mileage." Translation: "You cheap bitch."

And my favorite - "Wow, you look great. Did you color your hair?"

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ellie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-07-04 11:25 AM
Response to Original message
14. I have a good one
that I just heard on Sunday!

I cut my hair short because I was tired of long hair. My brother-in-law, who saw me for the first time said, "It's nice although it's unusual."

Since when is short hair unusual?
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