DU Women: What must I do to be that creepy guy in the bar?

[WillyBrandt]

Suppose that's the direction I want to take my life.

What tips do you have for me?

[jdj]

1. If you have to ask.... n/t

[Maddy McCall]

2. Soil your pants and ask for the bar rag to clean up?

That's pretty fucking creepy.

[UpsideDownFlag]

3. get a combover, don't wash yourself.

smell like booze.

[TA]

4. You might try the Wolfiwitz "I've got to comb my hair" trick

As per the F9/11 movie scene.

[Shananigans]

5. Start asking women if they want to buy you a drink...

It's the worst thing I have ever heard. Other recommendations:

- Look down my shirt when talking to me
- Talk about the last babe you bagged from the bar
- Tell me all about your bachelor pad with the Kegmeiser, red velvet sheets and handcuffs reinforced to the walls
- Ask me how much money I make

Oh boy...I could go on and on, but I should stop. So I will.

[miss_kitty]

9. these are excellent, Shanneee

let's not forget-invade my personal space.

a former Mayor of Seattle was drooling down my decolletage at a function-sort of a "Look down my shirt when talking to me" on steroids...that made him the creep of the night

[mitchum]

16. "If they want to buy you a drink" LOL!!!

That is creepy. But it is also so absurd, I wonder if it doesn't have a disarming effect sometimes. Not as if I'm gonna try it...

[Cleita]

6. Ex-bartender here.

All you have to do is get too drunk to not be creepy. Many a nice fella, shy when sober, had to medicate themselves too much to approach the lady of their imagined dreams and then really struck out because the pig side of the family emerged. There are the smooth operators who do fine in a bar setting, but if you have to get drunk to approach don't. The bar scene just isn't for you.

[miss_kitty]

7. creepy come ons to females in the bar

the eye contact, with an 'up-nod.' toast chicks across the room, accompanied by the up-nod

when you order say something like "i'll have a pabst, and whatever the little lady is having at the end of the bar"

really check out the boobs on every woman in the room. when they get up to walk around, follow their chests with your eyes. not a tit man? then do the same for the ass. most effectively creepy? sit where every female has to pass to use the can.

make as many double entendre and innuendo comments as possible. after a couple of Pabsts, get into repeating some of the creepier comments.

i'll think of some more...

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

8. Not a women but here's a suggestion

Tell them, "Nice outfit. It'd look even better on my bedroom floor."

[miss_kitty]

10. am a woman-here's an assessment

that IS creepy!

[mountainvue]

11. Another ex

bartender here. Wear really dirty, old glasses. Drive a 1978 Gremlin. Still live with your mother.
The creepiest I have recently encountered is a guy in a convenience store who tried to look at my driver's license when I opened my wallet. Thankfully, it has a flap over it. Then he asked to hug me and this other girl that was standing there. Freeekay.

[No2W2004]

12. not a woman, but it would creep me out if someone said:

"I do believe the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

or

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your clothes of and dance around naked?"

*courtesy of "Zapp Branagan's book of pick up lines"

[BiggJawn]

13. Do you mean a "Pee-Wee Herman" creepy or....

That creepy guy who looks like he just got out of prison who gets laid by a different woman every night?

[enigmatic]

14. Tell them you've graduated...

from the W School of OB-GYN's....;)

[samplegirl]

15. Laser lights

On every girls breasts!!!!!! I guess that would make you the
second most desperate man in a bar.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. You don't need to say a word.....

Just grunt while you let your eyes wander. Licking your lips and adjusting your crotch won't hurt either.

[huellewig]

18. I'm a boy..

but, I go with random backrubs.. Good luck, I think!?!....

[Nightowl_2004]

19. I'm a guy with a good tip...

Just simply walk up to a lady and say "Excuse me, Are you going to walk to your car alone tonight?.....I'll be over here in the corner watching you all night...."

That joke's courtesy of Dane Cook (www.danecook.com) Check out his site and listen to some of his stuff. LMFAO!!!

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. Just be yourself.

;)

Oh, and (especially if there's a cute barmaid) point to the spill-mat and say "you gonna drink that?"