Need help solving mystery.

[trof]

A mystery that I fear in unsolvable.

A man I was close to died a few months ago. He was 86, a widower since 1998, and a grandpa. He loved his family and was as generous with them and with friends as he was able to be. He was a believing Christian and a deacon in his church. He was a retired attorney and had lived and worked in a small southern town for the last 60+ years. He reminded me a lot of Atticus Finch, in "To Kill A Mockingbird".

He was also a great guy to have a drink with and talk to. I have known him for most of my 63 years and I liked and respected him. Just a good guy and a real gentleman.

For whatever reason, he died without a will. Yeah, I know...a lawyer? OK, nobody's perfect. His family asked me for help in sorting through his estate. We started by going through his bank statements.

He received around $1800 a month from Social Security. With no mortgage or car payment, this was more than enough to meet his monthly living expenses.

To our surprise and dismay we found several checks made out to cash. Several, like dozens. Some only three or four days apart. All cashed apparently by him at his bank. Since 1999 He went through an $80,000 CD he'd cashed in. He cashed in a small life insurance policy. Then, last year he took out a home equity line of credit, and had used $20,000 of that. Many of the checks were for $200, but some were for odd amounts. There were several for $216, and a couple for $316. A few were for $255.

There is nothing in his house that would reflect any purchases he might have made with the money. We have no idea what he did with it. His son said (not entirely tongue-in-cheek) "Hookers"? This would be totally out of character. But the only things we could think of you'd pay cash for are drugs and hookers. Neither of these fits his "profile" so to speak.

We are absolutely baffled. Any of you Sherlocks got any ideas?

[jpgray]

1. Drugs or women is my guess

Unless he was a compulsive gambler or something of that stripe--I've known some lawyers who are.

[zanana]

2. Was he a gambler?

I knew a terrific guy who was a closet gambler. We only found out after he died.

[trof]

10. Don't think he gambled.

Where he lived, the best he could do was lottery tickets. On many ocassions he said lotteries were for suckers.

[Ripley]

3. Double life?

Perhaps he had a child out of marriage and was paying support in secret. Or just a girlfriend he didn't want anyone to know about. Weirder things have happened.

[trof]

12. Just doesn't fit.

And it only started AFTER his wife died.
Thought about the blackmail thing, too, but wouldn't they be more-or-less regular payments?

[miss_kitty]

45. "more-or-less regular payments?" no,

there are the types of blackmailers that call when they run out....i have to read more here....

[Ripley]

15. Maybe he drove to Biloxi.

And $200 was his "allowance." Lots of people are embarrassed by bad habits...and especially with his church status.

[trof]

23. Couldn't make it that far.

He knew his driving wasn't a good as it had been. He was doing well to drive a few blocks to the grocery or the Cracker Barrel.

[Dirty Hippie]

4. Was there anyone who had regular access to him?

A housekeeper, a relative? Anyone who may have had less than honorable motives?

[trof]

13. Housekeeper, once a week.

His daughter lives nearby and saw him 2 or 3 times a week.
Housekeeper just wouldn't have access. He cashed all the checks himself.

[Misunderestimator]

34. Just because he cashed them himself doesn't mean he didn't then turn

over the money to someone else.

[maveric]

5. Perhaps he was sick and paying for unconventional medical

treaments not covered by his health insurance? I knew a woman that had terminal ovarian cancer and went to some "quack" clinic in Tijuana that claimed to be able to heal her. She spent her life savings there and eventually died.

[trof]

14. Not his style.

It was difficult to even get him to see a regular physician.

[punpirate]

6. Other things, out of character, possibly...

... might be that he was, at advanced age, an easy mark for people who tried to borrow money from him. Too, he might have been making cash donations to religious organizations. A final possibility might have been that someone was blackmailing him, steadily bleeding him of his cash. Was he the sort of person who greatly valued his public reputation?

Cheers.

[trof]

16. He was VERY methodical attorney.

I was with him a few months before his death. He'd lost a step or two physically, but not mentally.

[AP]

7. Check his phone bills. See if there is a pattern of calls around the time

that he cashed the checks.

Did he use a credit card or a cash card?

[trof]

17. Good idea.

He had a credit card "for emergencies", but never used it. Didn't believe in them.

[KT2000]

8. Just an idea -

my mother and her family came from the South. I always knew that there were "secrets" in the family - something VERY common in the Southern culture. After her death we learned what some of those secrets were by going through her papers.

I am not saying this is my mother's family's case or your friend's, but there are sometimes "unclaimed, unacknowledged" children out there from quickie marriages or affairs. From this all kinds of behavior can ensue- Payoffs to clear a conscience or silence someone.

Just a thought.

[radwriter0555]

9. I bet he was a gambler. That's the kind of money you go play cards

with or bet the horses with... You can bet horses on the phone.

I'd be checking the local casinos, to see if they knew him, if you want.

[trof]

18. Forgot, they do have horse racing in his state.

But it still doesn't fit his personality. He thought gambling was for fools.

[radwriter0555]

31. Well see, the LOTTERY is for fools cause it's pure luck, right? Now HORSES

could be another story.

It takes skill, allegedly, to know horses and to bet them... of course, it doesn't look like he was winning either.

[SOteric]

11. Given your description of his character, I'd be more inclined to believe

he may have fallen for a charitible scam.

Possibly, he was actually engaged in charity. Many sincere in their Christianity prefer that their charitable acts be anonymous and private.

Perhaps helping out a friend or acquaintance who would have been embarrassed had his or her hardships been known.

It even crosses my mind that he may have discovered a child he previously unaware of and felt some financial obligation, maybe an old flame who was in dire straights and needed help.

[trof]

20. That would be the preferred scenario, but...

you'd think that would be on a monthly or regular basis. These appear to be so random. Four days apart and then another two weeks later. Maybe nothing for a month and then two more five days apart. Doesn't seem to be any pattern.

[Misunderestimator]

36. With that pattern, it could still be someone who he feels obligated

to help... whenever they needed it, explaining the sporadic nature of the withdrawals.

[TX-RAT]

19. 1800 a month SS

Sounds like he was supplementing his small SS income. Sounds like a man cashing out.

[amazona]

21. there's no mystery

The money went to the sex partner(s) of his choice. Since no one was around leaning on him to make a will, I'm inclined to believe it went to multiple eff buddies rather than a single special friend. I've known of any number of cases personally. People in their 80s still "do it" or at least like to watch it done, and they usually have to pay for the privilege. I've even known of women in that age group to pay, much less men. It is not out of character, it is simply the way the world works once you get to a certain age without a spouse. The odd amounts come in because sometimes the individual friend does not consider herself or himself to be a hooker but is just asking for a loan, as in, "Can I get $216 to cover the electric bill this month?" It's just that the loan never gets repaid. I'm sure he died happier than he would have if he'd just left the money in the estate so let it go. You never get the money back. The only case I know of personally where the victim succeeded in getting the money back was when the victim was still alive and, truly, in this case she was a victim since she had Alzheimer's and didn't realize how much she was paying her lover. Even at that, the court allowed the "boyfriend" (he was married to someone else) to keep the condo she bought him.

[trof]

25. Ya know, I'd be OK with that. Just don't fit.

I know we all have a dark side, but it just doesn't fit with him.
But who the hell knows. It's also the most logical scenario.
Kinda.
jeez

[TexasBushwhacker]

22. What does the daughter say?

Could he have been helping one of his children or grandchildren and not others? He wouldn't want to leave a paper trail if he was giving money to Mary and not to John, if you catch my drift.

[trof]

26. Naw. Family members:

Son and daughter, 3 grandkids.
We'd know.

[DrWeird]

24. Hookers. Televangelists. Astrologers. Extortion.

Under the table child support. Who knows?

[trof]

27. I guess we never will know.

And it just bugs the shit out of me.
His daughter and son don't know what the hell to think.

[calico1]

28. All good ideas above.

I would also add that sometimes you think you really know a person and you don't. People can really surprise you. I would consider all things mentioned above. Could be any one or a combination.

[trof]

29. Thanks for replies. Couple more things:

Checks for groceries were made out to the store.
His total monthly expenses, phone, gas, electric, water, food, and booze was usually under $1200 a month. He didn't use credit cards and wrote checks for everything. He wrote checks for cash, when he needed it, and cashed them at the bank's drive through window. Most were for $50. He had $65 in his wallet when he died.

We've fanned every book in the house (HUNDREDS), thinking maybe he was hoarding cash for some reason. Especially since it started in 1999. Remember THE MILLENIUM SCARE? Nuthin'.

I should just go have a drink and fuhgeddaboudit.
:-(

[radwriter0555]

32. He went through $100,000.... I can't imagine where it went...

if like you say, it wasn't for horses or hookers.

Have you checked his mail for brokerage statements? Also, talk to the mail delivery person; I've used them on occasion to find out about people. Find out if he got brokerage statements or such.

[trof]

33. His idea of investing was a bank CD.

Child of the depression and all that.

[liontamer]

30. IF he were senile,

I'd worry that he was scammed toward the end. Otherwise I'll go with everyone else and say drugs or hookers. Is anyone going to check his phone records during these times or a credit report for signs of fraud?

[mdmc]

39. Look to the cross, my friend

their is someone in the church that knows what is going on... This money was not spent on pleasure... This money was spent on a goodwill secret, perhaps the receiver doesn't even know where it came from...
Somewhere, someone is dealing with an awful situation, and this money has in some way been used to reduce the pain.
Look to the church. Somewhere, there are folks that know whats up.
I don't think that it is sinister; I think that your buddy was not proud or vain, and that he helped folks w/o taking credit.

Sorry about your loss.

[Debi]

35. Was he a church goer?

Maybe he wanted to give to his church(es) w/out being identified...leaving cash in the gift basket...

wanted to add that maybe the money went for something good..instead for all these bad thoughts.

[trof]

37. Yes. A pillar.

And it was a mainstream (not fundie) church. Same one I was raised in. Regular folks. He didn't attend in his later years.

[trof]

38. OK, another point about charity.

His daughter is divorced and was a single mom. Her son is grown and married now. His other two grandkids could sure have used help with college costs. Their folks are middle class and it was a struggle to put two kids through college two years apart.

I haven't heard that he helped any of them out (he was not a wealthy man), but charity surely begins at home.

[Nay]

40. Take all those mysterious checks and list them in order by date.

In the second column, put the DAY OF THE WEEK that each check was cashed. In the third column, put the amount of the check.

Look at the days of the week -- does anything jump out? One or two days predominate? If so, think back (and ask the daughter) if she recalls any days of the week where Dad was often not at home or did not answer the phone. If he had a regular sex partner whom he was paying, often they would have had a standing appointment on certain days of the week.

[trof]

43. Another good idea. Thanks. eom

[bigwillq]

41. Was an autopsy done?

I'm at work so I don't have time sometimes to read through everyone's replies so I don't know if you told us if an autopsy was done?

Maybe he had a terminal disease but didn't want anyone to know.

If not, he lived to 86, how he spends his money is really no one's business even if it were on drugs, girls or gambling but I can see how you would be concerned.

[trof]

42. Stroke.

Cerebral hemorrhage. Lived for about a week after he was found.

[bigwillq]

46. So maybe he did have a medical condition

and used the money on medical bills.

Any evidence of that?

Again, sorry if I'm askiung questions you've already answered.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

44. Forged signatures on checks

and other transactions. It's too bad you're not a relative. No clue as to your standing in this matter. Maybe go the the police. Looks like somebody ripped him off Look at the son (Hookers??? Somehow, I Don't Think So) Who's got to gain from this??

[miss_kitty]

47. i like what Nay said, about cataloging the checks

his daughter might be able to find out at the bank if he came in by himself when he cashed the checks. go with her.
did he always go to the same teller? he was an atty so he probably did not gab about his business at the bank, but you never know.

ask some of his other friends, guys who showed up at the funeral, if they knew anything.

i doubt child support, since somewhere you state it started after his wife died. and if he felt inclined to support an out-of-wedlock child, born this late in life-i think there would have been a will.

Small town? talk to the cops. ask them if they know of some scam happening-the one i know is the 'young woman attaching herself to an older guy' scam. that doesn't usually drag out over 5 years-especially with no one knowing.

do you know of any one his friends or old clients who may have been having a hard time? you say he was generous; maybe he knew someone who was unfortunate, and for their sake kept it quiet.

so what you are talking about is $20,000 a year, since 1999-that's a lot of money for helping a friend in the south (i say that, because i am on disability in Seattle, and get approx 13-14,000 in cash and benefits per year-i know it costs less to live there). maybe he was helping someone pay for prescription meds.

it's nearly 1700 per month-a lot for hookers

besides drugs, hookers and gambling, the other thing you would pay cash for is something you don't want traced back to you. or a person you may be helping.

[MissMarple]

48. Charity, out of wedlock child to set up, unnamed sweetheart.

I am assuming he was somewhat eccentric. The odd amounts might have been to throw second guessers like us off the track.

[BlueHandDuo]

49. He didn't want you to know...

...and it was his own money.

Let him have this little victory.

[Obamarama]

50. He couldn't take it with him, anyway, so what's the difference?

But I know where you're coming from...it would make me highly curious about the whole situation, too.

I suspect the answer went with him to his grave.

[hunter]

51. My grandfather wrote cash checks like that for his girlfriend.

A few years after my grandmother died my grandfather decided he needed a girlfriend. He never wanted my grandma's friends to know he had a girlfriend, so he asked us, his grandkids, not to tell.

My dad shrugged it off, since the expensive girlfriend seemed to make my grandpa happy, and he could afford her, but my sister still hates her because when my grandpa died the girlfriend took some china my grandma had promised my sister.

My guess is that all your friend's money went into the collection plate at church or something similar. I'd hate to think it was a rip-off charity, but that happens too.

An expensive girlfriend (or, heh, boyfriend ;) ) would be better than a rip-off charity.

[underseasurveyor]

52. Have you checked for a safety deposit box?

Perfect place to hide things like personal letters, mementos, jewelry, or...;-) secrets.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

53. Maybe he was just helping someone out financially...

since you say he was a generous man, it's not far-fetched.

[greblc]

54. Everyone has a desire for love.

Age & profile have nothing to do with it. A guy can get lonely.

[BritishHuman]

55. Sounds like gambling to me

That would explain the erratic timespans - if you win, you don't need to get a new wad.

The amounts are odd, though. Maybe he took $200 to a game and spent $16 on beers'n'snacks on the way?

[truthspeaker]

56. Ripped off by family member or other loved one?

Happens quite a bit, unfortunately.

[jackieforthedems]

57. Any Casinos Nearby?

Alot of elderly folks like to kill time at casinos.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

58. Trust me. He was a gambler

Anywhere in Alabama is a stone's throw away from Mississippi. He was a gambler. I know because if I died tomorrow, people would go through my banking info and find similar withdrawals.

[mongo]

59. One more idea

Perhaps he was hording cash. Since he lived during the great depression, perhaps the dot.com bust, etc. scared him and he was hording cash. Check the back yard for mason jars full of cash, a safety deposit box, or a false panel in a piece of furniture or the kitchen cabinets.

My grandfather died with 10 grand stuck under the mattress.

But I would say the money most likely went to:

1. a church or other charity
2. a girlfriend
3. gambling