Now listen up, you Commie Pinkos!

[Colonel Flagg]

I'm only going to say this once:

George W. Bush was with me during the time he was unavailable for duty in that pansy unit, the TANG, or ANG, or whatever you're calling it these days.

We were on a covert mission to smoke out communists. We were in the Far East, but any further information about our location is classified.

You godless heathens don't have the clearance to hear any more details about it. You'll have to trust me that Lt. Bush was serving honorably.

If you want to keep bringing this up, I'll see that you get a Number 8. And remember, I have written permission to kill myself in the attempt. Got that?

That is all. Now get back to your factories, farms, and shopping.

[matcom]

1. i heard you broke your own arm once. is that true?

[vetwife]

2. I have no doubt he was serving up drinks honorably LOL

[Colonel Flagg]

7. We had a device implanted in our throats.

We can drink all night and not get drunk. And the young Lt. was quite skilled in serving drinks, but that's a part of the mission that I'd rather not get into now.

[Colonel Flagg]

4. Listen, matcom. If that's really your name.

I will do whatever is necessary to complete my mission. I've already said that I have written permission to kill myself in the attempt. That broken arm was the minimum amount of injury I needed to inflict on myself to get the job done.

You must think you're a real cutie pie, don't you? If you remove the mat from your name, you're left with com, which is short for communist! You think you're real smart, but you're not smart, you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me!

[matcom]

8. i hear your mother wears Army Boots

[Colonel Flagg]

13. She also dressed me funny, but let's leave my mother out of it.

She was a fine American. The finest kind. And her boots are not your concern. She went to her grave wearing her government issue boots. But now I'm getting sentimental.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

3. Did you visit the communists in person or

did they come and knock on the door of your room for you, like they did for Neil?

[Colonel Flagg]

10. "Neil" was the Lt.'s code name. Only we spelled it "kneel".

I can tell you this because Uncle Sam has declassified that intelligence. But there were no "communists" knocking on my door, let's get that straight right now!

[underpants]

5. Hi "the wind"

:hi:

[Colonel Flagg]

6. Hello to you, too. Mr. Underpants.

How do you know about "the wind"? That was classified.

Just remember, we've got a file on you. We've got files on people that haven't even been born.

[underpants]

9. A file? Where...... at HQ?

:shrug:

[Colonel Flagg]

11. HQ? Why did you say HQ? n/t

[GOPisEvil]

12. Nobody leaves until you do, and you never do.

[Colonel Flagg]

14. It's my trademark. Nobody ever sees me leave.

I just disappear into the darkness, like the wind. And if you don't close your eyes, I won't leave.