Please join me in a drink: I'm moving out today.

[Pale Blue Dot]

This morning Jane left the settlement agreement out for me to look at. There, in black and white legalese, is 15 years of love, friendship, fighting, disappointment and indifference condensed to 8 pages.

While moving my stereo into my parents house this morning, I found that I had left a CD in the CD player. To test the connections, I played a song from that CD. While I have always loved this song, I now understand exactly what the songwriter was saying. I hope that you'll indulge me and join me for a drink while I mourn sad endings and celebrate the fear and promise in new beginnings.

Special thanks to Adam Duritz.

Mrs. Potter's Lullaby

Well, I woke up in mid-afternoon, 'cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast

I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame
Though I'll never forget your face, sometimes I can't remember my name

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't cry
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I know why, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?

There's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything

Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
And the ghosts of the tilt-a-whirl will linger inside of your head
And the ferris wheel junkies will spin them forever instead
When I see you a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't go
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I don't know, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?

All the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey, I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep

So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well, I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
Aw, but I'd sure like to find out
So why don't you climb down off that movie screen?

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't turn
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I burn for you
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
And orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for
That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before
So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door

We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up at the Palace like it's the last of the great pioneer town bars
We shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
You can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far
Aw, you can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far

Hey, Mrs. Potter, I won't touch, and
Hey, Mrs. Potter, it's not much, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me?

[On the Road]

1. Good Luck, Man

It's a hard transition. But there is life afterwards.

I remeber listening to Ricky Lee Jones's "Company" during a marital crisis and being persuaded not to leave. It ended anyway, and we're both better off for it.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. Thanks.

We held on to this five years longer than we should have.

It is the right thing for both of us, but that doesn't make it any easier. Having people who care does, though, so thanks!

[GOPisEvil]

2. Best wishes to you all.

:beer::beer: Have two!

[Pale Blue Dot]

8. Thanks, David.

Next time you're in Philly we'll hit the town as swinging bachelors!

[GOPisEvil]

21. Two wild and crazy guys!

:D

[Pale Blue Dot]

23. Cool!

But I get to be Steve Martin, OK?

[NC_Nurse]

3. I'm sorry Finnfan

I've been through this, it's really tough....
I'm thinking of you.:beer: I'll join you in a symbolic drink since I'm sick today. Can't have a real one...:-(

[Pale Blue Dot]

9. Get better soon.

And then join me for a drink. Thanks.

[Misunderestimator]

4. All the best to you Finnfan!

From this day forward, your life is in front of you, and now you can be free to live it. :hug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

11. Thank you.

And get out of Florida already! Sheesh! :hug:

[Misunderestimator]

13. LOL... Oh believe me... the only reason I'm staying is to vote in FL

I'll be out of here lickety split at the end of the year if all goes well. :)

[eyesroll]

5. Aww, Finnfan.

:toast: :beer: :toast: :beer:

Best of luck to you, Jane and your son.

[Pale Blue Dot]

12. Thank you, eyesroll. nt

[Infomaniac]

7. I could have written the same thing 6 years and a day ago

"This morning Jane left the settlement agreement out for me to look at. There, in black and white legalese, is 15 years of love, friendship, fighting, disappointment and indifference condensed to 8 pages."

I could have written the same thing exactly 6 years and a day ago. It's not easy to move on after a long-term relationship ends, but let me tell you what people told me. You will be fine. I didn't believe it at the time, but it turned out to be more than true. Take care of yourself.

[Pale Blue Dot]

14. I believe you, infomaniac.

I just wish six years from now was today. Thank you.

[ronnykmarshall]

10. Best wishes Finnfan.

It takes small steps, but you get through it.

[Pale Blue Dot]

16. Thanks, ronny.

nt

[flamingyouth]

15. Good luck, Finn

This would have been me three months ago had things gone differently.

Wishing the three of you all the best.

[Pale Blue Dot]

18. Thank, fy.

And have fun on your trip. :thumbsup:

[nini]

17. I'm sending you strength and good vibes

.. for a positive, love filled future. So sorry for your pain and the physical moving out one of the hardest things.. I can't be there to help, but am in spirit. Hang in there! :hug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

20. Thanks, nini.

You mean that you can't limp up to PA to help? :evilgrin:

Thanks for everything. :D

[redqueen]

19. Here's to you...

:toast:

and to brighter days ahead... :beer:

[Pale Blue Dot]

22. Thank you, redqueen.

And that teacher was wrong, BTW. I thought that you handled it with your daughter beautifully. :thumbsup:

[terrya]

24. All of my best wishes, all of my best hopes and my thoughts, Finn.

I care about you very much, my friend.

[Pale Blue Dot]

26. Thanks, terry

You're a great guy, and a good friend. Thanks so much.

[fudge stripe cookays]

25. Take care a you, Finn.

Sorry you're having to go through this. It sucks like hell.

I haven't had a marriage break up, but relationships all hurt pretty badly if you invest your heart that strongly and it doesn't work out.

Give it some time. Some lucky gal will stumble on you and think, "Where has this scarred but smarter cutie been all my life?"

Keep thinking good thoughts!
FSC

[Pale Blue Dot]

27. Thank, FSC

Now can you tell me where to find the women who are looking for "scarred but smarter" cuties?

[fudge stripe cookays]

28. I would say...

to check your nearest "Scarred But Smarter" Anonymous meetings. Check your yellow pages for a location near you. ;-)

Fudge

[VOX]

29. Hang in there, Finnfan. This is a tough road to walk...

But healing will occur by degrees. (Sorry for mixing metaphors.)
Life is an astounding, pain-in-the-ass adventure.

Best to you -- :toast:

[Pale Blue Dot]

30. Thanks, rezmutt.

I'm a sucker for mixed metaphors. :thumbsup:

[Richardo]

31. Best to you, Finnfan.

Hate to hear that. :pals:

[Pale Blue Dot]

37. Thanks, Richardo. nt

[SarahB]

32. Completely understanding at the moment.

Supposedly, once I had a job again and carried my own benefits, we'd finally start on the paperwork. I have a meeting tonight which is a follow-up to my job interview on Tuesday. There's one more step after this before I get the job, but as far as tonight, I'm meeting my potential new co-workers and finding out more about the "meat" of the job so to speak. I should know by next week, but so far, it's looking good. I make a good impression usually. :D

It's very hard here with Mr. Belle. There were many things that happened over the past 6-7 years (married 13) that caused me to emotionally withdraw from him (I don't care to go into specifics publicly though), but he reminds me every day how much he still loves me and I do care for him and how he feels. I just don't have anything left anymore and can't be happy. It's like forcing myself to feel something I haven't felt in years or be this person I can't be. I have been with him since I was 18 and it feels like if I don't have some independence for awhile, I will never be happy. It's so complex, but I think our friendship and love for our children are both strong enough that we can be good for them. We certainly haven't been a healthy example as of late.

Anyway, I relate completely and totally. It's that frightening blend of hope and fear at the moment. Knowing what a person has to do, yet the uncertainty is a frightening prospect at the same time.

:hug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

38. Thank you, SarahBelle.

I know how tough your situation is, and I hope that you get some resolution soon. I'm sure that you're going to get the job; who wouldn't want to work with you?

Keep me posted, and thanks. :hug:

[bif]

33. Good luck guy!

Things will work out for the best in the end. Hang in there.

[Pale Blue Dot]

39. Thanks, bif, I will. nt

[Pithlet]

34. Can't join in a drink but can offer cyber hugs

:hug: I've been through it. It's rough. You're going through one of the toughtes parts now, but it does get better.

[Pale Blue Dot]

40. Thank you, pithlet.

Now I'm just waiting for my life to get better. Thanks for the encouragement. :hug:

[grace0418]

35. Take care of yourself FF

I know we've just "met" but I always feel like I have a connection to fellow Finn fans. I'm sorry to hear about your break-up, it's hard even if it is for the best. Please take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you.

May I prescribe a few listens of "Love this Life," "She Goes On," "Faster Than Light," and "Into the Sunset" for your Finn therapy?

[Pale Blue Dot]

36. Thanks Grace.

"Love This Life" has been in the CD changer a lot lately, as has "Faster Than Light" and "How Will You Go". I love "Into the Sunset", but I associate that one a little too much with death for it to apply here. And of course, "Nothing Wrong With You", even though SOME people bizarrely don't like the chorus. :D

You realize that the rest of DU are going to think we're hopeless geeks, right?

[grace0418]

42. I don't care

I fully embraced my hopeless geekdom when I waited in line for six hours before the Chicago show this past July.

I know what you mean about "Into the Sunset" but sometimes I see it as a death "of something" whether it's a person, or a phase in your life or a relationship.

Yeah, I still don't like the chorus of NWWY, sorry. I'm glad it's helping you thought!

"Love This Life" is really the perfect song for almost any situation. I'm glad you're taking advantage of it.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

41. Well I'll be...

I was afraid I was out of beer; but hearing your cry, I delved into the recesses of my refrigerator, thinking I'd at least find some sorry excuse for a brew in there. To my surprise, I happened upon a Geroge Schneider Wiesen Edel-Weisse...a perfect brew for a muggy late afternoon.

So here's to you, Finnfan :toast: and the good times which lie ahead (I promise they do!).

It's interesting...I was listening to a radio program on grief one day recently; and the guest speaker (I don't remember her name) was talking about the difficult time people often have after a divorce, because there's no real closure other than the signing of a paper.

When we marry, there's a ceremony. When we die, there's a funeral. When there's a birth, we celebrate with showers. When we divorce, zippo...nada...get over it already.

Maybe you and your ex could get together and have a kind of wake for the end of your marriage, to help you and your friends move on to better times. Just a thought... :hug::toast::hug: