How I deal with my crazy family: (please post survival strategies here)

[jdj]

Tonight is especially bad.

I'm sick of being the only liberal, the only politically aware person. It actually goes much deeper than that, but (long story short) what helps people here cope? Meditation? Movies? Drugs? Work? What works to take the pain away (and it IS pain, they're still capable of stinging me good after 36 years.)

Posting here helps, but I'd love to hear from others what other things the do to deal with the fascist family tree. (I also need to stock up on coping mechanisms to get through the election, especially if their is fraud and we have an extended count again)

[EnfantTerrible]

1. I'm the only liberal in my family...

I moved 3,000 miles away in oreder to keep my sanity.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. All I can say is that I feel for you

My entire family is liberal including my late father and if one of us kids had turned out conservative, my parents would have put it up for adoption.

[roguevalley]

3. keeping away as much as possible and never bringing it up. when we

win in November, then you can speak of it but remember, be magnanimous in victory.

Or not. :evilgrin:

If you have draft bait in your family and they are a 'one issue' voter, throw the draft into their faces. No deferrments, all war, all the time.

[Maddy McCall]

4. Does your family life revolve around political discussions?

Here's my advice. Find the common ground on which you and your family members can agree...the things you love to do together, talk about together.

Leave politics alone. Realize that they may be as firm in their political convictions as you are in yours.

Enjoy what you have in common. Leave political discussions for when you are with non-family members.

I have used this strategy with family members with whom I don't agree politically. My relationships have improved.

Refuse to discuss politics with them. Life is too short.

[LisaLynne]

5. My family reunion...

... is on Saturday. It's Thursday and I'm 1/2 way through a bottle of wine already ...

Seriously, though, alcohol is not the answer, kids.

[jdj]

10. LOL

yes, that's my situation, without the booze.

Good luck Saturday, we'll be here. Take a laptop, if you have one.

[Blue Gardener]

21. Mine is Saturday also

There will be several wingnuts there. I won't bring up politics if they don't. However, if I have to listen to any bullshit from them, they better be prepared to get slammed with facts. I will not be silent any longer, the stakes are just too high.

[foxy]

6. When in stressful situations like this try this...

Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds and out through your mouth for 8 seconds for 5 minutes. It seems to help me.

Hope that helps.

[jdj]

11. Precisely what I needed

Of myself I am nothing. I am willing to try anything.

It took ten years of therapy after I left home at 18, now I am back around them, and want to avoid ten more years...

[foxy]

17. About.com has a e-mail that helps with stress try it.

That is the first week of six weeks I think.

Glad it helped it is keeping me from yelling at my kids.

[Dan]

7. I always like the question

"...which members of the family, are you willing to sacrifice for Iraq's freedom?..."

[jdj]

14. LOL n/t

[Ladyhawk]

8. I'm so sorry. I have the exact same problem.

And I can't move 3000 miles away. Just the other day, it was proven to me once again that yes, indeed, they are capable of inflicting pain...after 37 years, in my case.

The main coping mechanism that works for me is getting out into nature. I've been hiking and snorkeling all summer. It heals both body and mind. When I'm in the water, there's no one but me and the fish, crawdads, snakes, whatever. Everything just melts away.

For you, something entirely different might do the trick.

Also, if you can, make politics an off-limits topic. Tonight my mother brought up a statistic and I absolutely knew she wanted to engage me in a debate about immigration. So I didn't bite.

Seeing as little of your family as possible also helps.

Take Care!!!

[foxy]

12. Try post 6 Ladyhawk

I think it will help in more ways than just this one.

[jdj]

13. I win the political discussions.

They don't go there, they know better.

They close ranks around me, in other ways, though, and boy do they MAKE ME PAY. So it's a lose/lose situation.

I'm surrounded, I'm outnumbered (I'm even a little self-pitying right now). I appreciate knowing I am not alone.

[Ready4Change]

9. Cultivate your own sense of humor.

If you're going to be in hell, you might as well learn to laugh in the devils face.

[miss_kitty]

15. i don't discuss politics with my brother;

i don't discuss my brother with my sister.
my bro used to be a union guy. he drives all day now, and listens to the shit on the radio. i have told him, in no uncertain terms, i will not visit with his family if he insists on ramming his politics up my ass. this was after one night when he made a comment, i responded (i thought we were having a conversation) and he exploded (i think we were talking about taxes and education and the war on drugs) and he ended up screaming at me that if i didn't love this country, i should just get the fuck out. i asked him why he thought that citizens of this country who disagreed with his point of view should have to leave. i pointed out that dissent was the basis of democracy, not a threat to it. i told him i would not ever have anything to do with him if he was going to attack me like that. he has tried baiting me but once he remembers, he stfu.
i told my sister to stfu about 15 years ago and to quit telling me what to do. i am the oldest, i don't tell her what to do. she's a weird kinda lefty-but i don't know how to explain it...she hates Bill, so i won't let her talk to me about what "an asshole" she thinks he is.

needless to say, we are not a close family. but i got to a point, after years of abuse where i say, if you can't respect me, my beliefs, be polite, use the manners we were all raised with, you can fuck the fuck off. i won't put up with the abuse, the disrespect, the manipulation. i quite simply do not have the time.

[Nightowl_2004]

16. I feel for ya completely, but I have to say...

Just deal with it (with some humor). My family has to be some of the most Politically at odds people ever. I have a Republican sister, a Sister who went to Cal Berkley and is extremely liberal, My mom is an Independent, My dad is a Republican. Grandparents 1 are solid democrats, Grandparents 2 are longtime Republicans. We talk politics all the time. I love it!! The best advice I can give you is this, Dont get fired up over it. These people are your family, use humor and joke around. I love everyone of my family with all my heart and soul. I have many Conservative Friends and many Liberal Friends. Just roll with the punches, some things in life (like family and friends) supercede Politics.

[MissMarple]

18. Now that is good advice.

Welcome to DU Nightowl-2004.

I was going to suggest a response something like a vague, "That's nice, dear."

[Nightowl_2004]

19. Thanks!

I rather enjoy it here at DU!

Yes, Family is Family and Friends are Friends. Republican, Democrat, Green, Liberatarian, Independent....WHATEVER! I, frankly, dont care. Its actually kind of nice. When I fell like a debate, I know where to go, And if I need to preach to the choir (kind of like I'm doing now, lol) I also have some open ears. At the end of the day though, I still love both sides!

[jukes]

20. walk

the fuck away.

haven't seen a family member in 21 years. don't miss 'em for damn.

[The Flaming Red Head]

22. Crazy? As long as they are not trying to kill you

you got it made.

[SarahB]

23. My family is liberal.

Unfortunately, my parents are whiny and perpetually negative most of the time. I just have learned to minimize contact and to not be sucked into it. So tedious though. :eyes:

[Dem2theMax]

24. I walk around, talking to myself outloud, so others can hear me.

I say things like "I must be living in a Marx Bros. movie."
It makes me laugh. The hell with the rest of them.

Then? One word. Chocolate. :) :) :)

After that? DU. I come here for sanity. :bounce:

Edited because I didn't like where the commas were. :crazy:

[kyattaman]

25. Join the witness protection program

They'll set you up with a new family and identity to boot.