It's my ex-husband's birthday

[lapislzi]

I'm thinking the flaming bag of doggy doo would make an appropriate and thoughtful gift. Any other ideas?

:evilgrin:

[Spinzonner]

1. Sure, get arrested for malicious mischief

then again, there's always maturity ....

[lapislzi]

2. Sanctimony: it's what's for dinner

When you consider the fact that the guy threw me across the room and broke three of my ribs, a mere discussion of creative payback doesn't seem so heinous, does it?

Believe me, I have better things to do with my time than drive 20 miles with a bag of dog shit in my car. But it amuses me to talk about it.

[Spinzonner]

3. Payback is Punishment

like prosecution for assault.

Hardly sounds like a situation suitable for humor.

But each to their own .. I guess.

[mrboba1]

7. way to talk about a situation you have no idea

about what was going on.

You should probably save your sanctimony for someone who gives a rats ass...

[Spinzonner]

9. Well, you did give a rat's ass ... you replied

even if it was negative.

Why would someone acting rationally and in their own self-interest want to prolong/extend any kind of interaction with such a violence-prone person.

[lapislzi]

12. Why d'you think I'm talking about it and not doing it?

I'm not a complete idiot!

Regrettably, I have to interact with this person because he is my daughter's father.

And as any domestic abuse survivor will tell you, we do what we have to do to survive. Your question represents a common misconception among people who have not experienced domestic violence. You, the outsider, are not in a position to second-guess the victim's decisions. That's not intended to sound sanctimonious, just informative. Domestic violence are required to make all kinds of decisions that may appear utterly incomprehensible to outsiders...but they are usually based on hard-learned survival skills.

[mrboba1]

13. you really think she's going to drop that off on his doorstep?

:eyes:

[miss_kitty]

22. well i think that happened

because maybe she wants you to know something about domestic abuse. it's a fantasy, the flaming bag of dog shit. and it is a fantasy that does not involve smashing her abuser's face or wishing him dead-it's a fantasy involving seeing an abuser in the minds' eye up to his ankles in steaming dog crap.

[skygazer]

14. I know just how you feel

I had neck surgery in January to correct the crushed disk I got when my ex punched me in the face, threw me on the floor and stepped on my neck. I now live 3000 miles away from him and have to pay him $615 a month in child support for our 17 year old son who chose to live with him.

My ex husband is the only person on Earth that I can honestly say I hate. He lives in Virginia and when the DC sniper was on the loose, I found myself praying that he would find my ex. I look forward to the day he dies because I would travel to the ends of the earth to piss on his grave.

Glad you're free. Glad I'm free. But we're never totally free, are we? :hug:

[lapislzi]

15. Hugs to you too!

:yourock:

You are brave and wonderful and strong!

I now channel my anger (that fabulous gift) towards helping other women (and the occasional humorous revenge fantasy). If I can help just one woman out of a bad situation, those broken ribs will not have been for naught.

I think it's important to educate people about why women make the decisions they make in abusive situations--it's all too easy to blame the victim without even realizing that's what you're doing.

In my case, spinzonner asked rhetorically why I didn't press assault charges. Do you suppose I could have collected child support while my husband was incarcerated and not earning a salary? Do you think he wouldn't have come after me with a vengeance when he was released on bail? Do you think he wouldn't send his goons after me if he couldn't come himself?

Now I just pity my ex his pathetic little life. Because mine is great!

[skygazer]

16. Good for you

Yes, I too try to educate every chance I get. I refuse to be ashamed of what happened to me. In a strange way, I am almost grateful because I formerly had a very condescending view of abused women. Now I know!

I recently read a book called "Why Does He Do That?" by a guy named Lundy Bancroft. Very good - in it he explains the dynamics of abusive relationships and debunks many of the myths (such as abusive men have "anger management" problems which is simply untrue most of the time). He explains the whole psychological complexities of it - highly recommended for those who have been there and those who have not.

[miss_kitty]

20. hey! i think it's funny to think of

it'd be awful if someone ended up doing time for offending a sack of crap like him.

congrats on pulling yourself out of a horrible situation and still having a sense of humour. it's hard-impossible-for many to extract themselves from that.

you deserve self amusement. imagining flaming bags of dog crap in a ring-and-run situation is one of my favourite scenarios, too.

on edit: spelling

[Bunny]

4. Well, the other poster notwithstanding, I thought it was a humorous post.

Go ahead and indulge in a little harmless revenge fantasy. Sounds like you earned it! And I'm glad he is now your EX-husband.

[mrboba1]

5. get one of those little voodoo dolls

like on that commercial and make his head shrink and stuff. :evilgrin:

(plus they'll never get you for malicious mischief) :eyes:

[eyesroll]

6. Dead roses?

Mixed CD of "I hate you" songs?

Make out with whoever would have made him jealous (tennis instructor? his brother? another woman?) in front of his window?

[No2W2004]

8. The best revenge is living well,

a flaming bag of doggy doo is fun to think of.

[lapislzi]

10. So true!

He left me for dead (metaphorically speaking)...and now I have a great life!

He hates that. He glowers every time he sees me.

[No2W2004]

11. Good for you!

then you've already given the best gift for him to choke on.

[peacebuzzard]

17. Dog shit is too good for one of my exs.

I wouldn't want him to even think I ever thought of him. He was so twisted and psyco he reminds me of the shrub. When I see the shrub wincing and batting his eyes when he is attempting to think, that is exactly what reminds me of my ex. Gross! Yuck!:grr:
You still have to deal w/ shithead, so yea, doing well is the best revenge...and that you are!

[liontamer]

18. Dinner, dancing, flowers

champagne, and some new lingerie. Enjoy the day and celebrate yourself. Toast that you're free of the evil bastard!

and if you can, make sure someone tells him what a great time you had.

[lapislzi]

19. I have the world's best booster squad

in the form of my daughter. She never misses an opportunity to let him know how cool she thinks her mom is.

Lingerie...now there's a thought!

[liontamer]

21. definately go for the lingerie

Shopping for it and wearing it will give you a boost
or you can come back to the city and we'll dress you up in a sari ;)

[lapislzi]

23. You betcha!

You and lioness have to get my sorry ass sari-ed up.

In the meantime...Victoria's Secret after work today!

[barb162]

24. get him an enema kit or something like that

[kyattaman]

25. Get Over It

Like the web site said, it's time to Move on.

[LWolf]

26. Way to be empathetic!

:eyes:

[latebloomer]

27. Well, having a September 11 birthday sucks royally

At least that's some consolation.

Today is my present husband's birthday as well, and since that awful morning it will never be the same.