Help me break out of the 700 Club! Ask me anything... PLEASE!!

[St. Jarvitude]

Hold me... :scared:

[Ready4Change]

1. No.

:P

[St. Jarvitude]

2. Why... why must you mock me!

You must not remember how traumatic these 100 posts are... :cry:

[Ready4Change]

7. It is a test.

Pat Robertson spake unto me, and lo did he say "Test that one, so that he shall be seen as pure in my most holy site, and give me many dollars as is my due!"

Are you worthy?

[St. Jarvitude]

10. Well, sir, I have a story for you

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Okay, I confess... I really just ripped off an Emo Phillips routine. How shall I repent for my sins? Do you take traveller's checks?

[Meshuga]

19. 700's are lasting man!

I can't wait to get to the 800's myself

[izzie]

3. If Roberson said sin made 911 what does he say about storm in Fl?

Maybe it is the wrath of God for the 2000 election? Well Roberson has blamed AIDS and so many things on our sins and God going after us so maybe this is it?

[St. Jarvitude]

4. He'll blame the box-turtle hedonists this time

Damn them and their selfish box-turtle orgies!

[BlueJazz]

5. Down on your knees..you filthy disgusting sinner.

I say to you...Stop your satanic Liberal ways (and send me 100 dollars).

Just post all over the place until you're free of the "disease"....
everybody else does... :)

[St. Jarvitude]

8. I've been a posting machine

Call me DU Grovelbot. :D

It's hard to make posts that are short enough that I get them done efficiently, but aren't so short that it makes it obvious I'm just trying to get out of this Hell as quickly as possible.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

6. Don't drink the Kool Aid ! Its NOT good for you .

No matter what those fundies say , the Kool Aid is BAD !

[St. Jarvitude]

9. We did a Kool-Aid lab in chem this year

We used fractional crystallization (I think... it may have been liquid chromotography though) to separate the components in the Kool-Aid mixture. The teacher warned us not to drink the Kool-Aid, as it had been mixed twenty years ago and who-knows-what's-in-it-now, so of course I took it upon myself to make bad "don't drink the Kool-Aid" jokes for the duration of the lab (about 80 minutes).

[St. Jarvitude]

11. Shameless kick for the night crowd (and for another post)

:kick:

[jukes]

12. don't stop

if you lose mobility they'll pin you down & stone you!

[St. Jarvitude]

13. Hmm... do you mean the good or the bad kind of "stoned"?

:evilgrin:

[jukes]

16. THEY

only know 1 kind.

sorry i can't share right now, am hoarding!

[short bus president]

14. How many times a day do you...

blink your eyes?

[St. Jarvitude]

15. I blink not, for I am no sinner

Read Leviticus, chapter 891, verse 782, where the LORD speaketh:

The LORD called to Moses and spoke to him from the Tent of Meeting. He said to him 'Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Blinking is the crutch of Satan. Give money to Pat Robertson, and thou shalt receive my bounty.'"

[liontamer]

17. why am I such a slacker?

[Meshuga]

18. I'm right there with you!

I need to get out!

[jukes]

20. messiertom & MrWiggles

a little dialogue on the elswhere of P shd consume a few posts...