Why do Scotts wear kilts?

[No2W2004]

Did a Scottsman invent Kilts? Do you like wearing them? What do you like about them?

Is it a cultural thing - where you wear kilts because that's what everyone does. Or do you actually like them?

I'm not sayin' there's anything wrong with them. In fact, I love the fact that Scotts wear them.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

1. Because their "you know what" is too big to wear pants

[Philostopher]

2. The traditional answer to that is

"Because sheep can hear a zipper from too far away."

And before anybody jumps all over me, I have plenty of Scots ancestry. I still think the joke is funny.

[mac56]

3. 'Cause sheep can hear zippers!

And I'm a Scot!

[Yavin4]

4. Because They Have The Legs For It

hubba! hubba!

[miss_kitty]

5. more to the point,

whats under them?

[TreasonousBastard]

6. According to a half-sober Scotsman I met in Edinburgh...

"Nuttin' but lipstick, laddie."

[jdj]

7. this is the funniest song, about kilts

The Scotsman
words and music by Mike Cross

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

http://thebards.net/music/lyrics/The_Scotsman.shtml (you can listen to Cross perform it here, it's hilarious)

[Spiffarino]

11. "What do you wear under that kilt?"

Answer: "There's nothing worn under this kilt, lass."

[tarkus]

8. Because kilts kick ass. NM

[realisticphish]

9. they are hella comfortable

(i do 18th century reenacting)

as far as i know, scots traditionally wore long shirts belted at the waste, a pretty common thing all over britain. im not sure exactly when actual kilts appeared, but i know a lot of the tartan crap, and how its related to the clans was made up in the 1800's


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[jdonaldball]

10. Apology for this serious reply. But four things here:

1. Please drop the extra "T". "Scott" is a Scottish surname (most of whose bearers have more Anglo-Saxon blood than Scottish).
You mean "Scot", which is an ancient term for "Irish" but now means "Scottish", although most of the Scots (to whom I belong in part, and to the Clan Scott although the Clan system is not part of the Borders where the Scott clan reigned) have more Germanic and Pictish (akin to Basque) blood than Gaelic/"Irish".
2. The modern (post 18th century) "kilt" is a stylised version of archaic Highland attire, which was worn by the Gaelic Scots (the ones most closely related to the Irish - who were excoriated by the Lowland Scots who really defined Scotland) and was resurrected and stylised and made fashionable in the 19th century by, er, Sir Walter Scott (who belonged to a part of Scotland where kilts were never part of traditional attire.)
3. The "clan tartan" system is a very recent invention, also owing to Sir Walter Scott and how he and his contemporaries invented an ersatz romanticised Scottish identity - which Scotland has never really needed because Scotland has its own authentic romance, far better than kilts or tartans.
4. That said, all sons of Scotland (including me) have the sexiest legs in the world. :-)

[Surf Cowboy]

12. You'll have to forgive me, but I've got a riddle...

When I heard "because sheep can hear zippers," I thought of an old joke:

Q.: Why does a farmer screw his sheep at the edge of a cliff?

A: So that the sheep will push back!!!!


I know, it's not really Scottish in nature, but still a good sheep joke is always worth telling.

[jdonaldball]

13. Oh f--- it all. Here is an authenticvally drunken Scottish reopl;y:

"YARGH!"
Followed by,
"Fuck off if y' d'nt knew hai to work the...oh just fuck off."
(and then, going off to brew some tea... :-)