Tipping: a duty, a responsiblity, or a right

[JohnKleeb]

Poll question: Tipping: a duty, a responsiblity, or a right

The story about what happened in new york got me thinkin, what is tipping, is it a duty, a responsiblity, or a right. To me its in between a duty and a responsiblity, yes I know service can be crappy and I suffer from extreme bias being my dad waited tables most of my early childhood, but I feel servers outta to be respected.

[jpgray]

1. Having worked in food service, I always tip, and well

Bad service means bad tip--it would have to be extraordinarily bad to warrant zero tip.

[bluestateguy]

2. You better have a damn good reason for not tipping

I assume that all servers deserve at least 15%. If the service is very good I give more, if it's poor I give less. If it's really bad, and clearly the fault of the waiter I reserve the right to leave nothing. I have only done this once.

[Infomaniac]

3. I waited tables.

I waited tables and I can tell you that wait staff lives on tips. The hourly rate alone wouldn't have paid the light bill. I always tip well for good service. The least amount I leave is 15%

[TXlib]

4. Even if the service really sucks

and it's clearly the waiter's fault?

[Infomaniac]

7. I've never been in that situation,

where it was clearly the server's fault. I learned working in restaurants that the service depends on a number of factors. These factors include things like the kitchen staff experience level and number of kitchen workers to the number of tables per server. Those kinds of things depend on management and not server decisions.

[JohnKleeb]

8. ahh yes managers

When we went to a company picnic if you will call it that, my dad had always told me and my brother about his asshole manager, and I saw the guy in action too, I was like dad you were right, so and so is an asshole.

[SotarrTheWizard]

27. I'll still leave a tip.. . .

. . .a ONE CENT tip, but a tip. It gets the message across nicely. . .

[JohnKleeb]

5. I know as I said my dad waited tables for most of my childhood

We are so grateful to my mom, she's an educated woman who has a great job, if it wasnt for my ma, we wouldnt be nearly where we are now. Both my parents have done this and in fact this is how they met.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. It's a mutual responsibility

The customer has a responsibility to tip because we are covenanted through our laws to agree that waitstaff can earn well below a livable minimum wage. So, given that tacit agreement, the customer has a responsibility to make sure that the wages of the staff go up, and must, therefore, tip.

However, waitstaff cannot look upon a tip as a moral or legal right - they have the responsibility to ensure adequate service to the customer.

Shitty service, shitty tip. Really bad service, maybe no tip at all.

Service that's pleasant, kind, and at least manages to acknowledge that I am a human being - and service that's better - should get a tip. And a damn good one, too. As I said, we in the US, who live under the laws, and agree with them, must take some of the responsibility for our silence on the issue that waitstaff can be paid just over 2 bucks an hour.

Servers ought to be respected - but that respect has to go both ways.

That said, in my experience of working in a restaurant, and spending an awful lot of time eating in the them, I've seen far more asshole customers - who shouldn't have even been served food, let alone allowed to stay in the restaurant - than I've seen shitty waitstaff. Though I've had a couple, that's for certain.

[Lady Effingbroke]

16. well said, Rabrrrrrr!

I have also worked in restaurants and delivered pizzas, and good tipping customers were always much appreciated.

I also agree about the a-hole customers - you just can't please some people, and some customers were jerks on purpose just to scam a free meal. I've also worked with some lazy, could-give-a-crap coworkers (who hasn't?), though I must say they were usually far outweighed by the caring, competent ones.

[MrScorpio]

9. What it is is a shame

We should be paying food service workers a living wage, like the rest of western civilization.

I routinely tip 20% or more. Easier to figure out that way

[JohnKleeb]

13. amen to that

Scorpio :toast: right on man.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

10. Hey it's not just wait staff

Please please please PLEASE tip your pizza delivery guy or gal. They don't ever seem to get tips around here and it sucks for them.

Also, most of them do it as a second job and are pretty unhappy with the economy. I give them a super-big tip and then hand them a one-page front and back piece of literature about John Kerry. EVERY single one of them has smiled and said, "hey thanks! I like him!"

Pizza Delivery People for Kerry!

[JohnKleeb]

11. of course that too

My dad did that when I was 2 and at the same time was a cabbie. Oh and I do tip the pizza guy, I gave a 20% tip last time around.

[UdoKier]

14. I used to deliver for Domino's

And it was a lot more fun than waiting tables in a restaurant.

I usually got decent tips, but some people are cheap bastards.

I still tip delivery folks the same 15% I give waiters.

I only give bartenders 10%.

But I don't go to bars much...

[LynneSin]

17. Secret for tipping to bartenders...

...my first tip to the bartender is usually pretty decent size. Then the rest of the night I'll get really great service from the bartender even though I may leave less per drink. Then before I leave if the service stayed decent throughout the night I'll leave another big tip.

Believe me, in a crowded bar - bartenders are always going to remember the big tippers and service them first!

[JohnKleeb]

18. I dont know too much about their tippings

My uncle bartends in South Florida and my dad's best friend is one part time, but I dont discuss it with em.

[Lady Effingbroke]

20. Pizza Delivery People for Kerry - I LOVE it!!!!

As a former pizza delivery person, I can personally attest to the fact that tips made up a MAJOR portion of my income, and, as I stated in my reply to Rabrrrrrr, good tipping customers were always much appreciated (and remembered for future reference) - as well as the stiffs. Delivering pizzas, obviously, puts major wear and tear on the delivery person's car, as well as racking up the mileage - I could easily put 100+ miles on my car in the course of a busy evening. Then again, there is the cost of fuel to consider - I couldn't deliver pizza today - I wouldn't come out ahead, gas prices being what they are.

So, in conclusion, won't you please join with Moonbeam_Starlight and I in tipping your poor (literally) overworked, disregarded pizza delivery person? Thank you!

[UdoKier]

12. Other.

In America, it's like a duty since foodservice people make crap money and need the tips to live on.

in most countries, the "tip" is included, and waitstaff get better pay.

The funny thing is, even though a tip is supposed to be an incentive for better service, I don't see the service here in the states as better than in Europe, and certainly not better than Japan.

But then, I don't demand or expect obsequious service. Just get the order right and bring the food out. I don't need my ass kissed.

I had a Japanese lady student who told me that during the many years she lived in the US, she NEVER ONCE tipped at a restaurant, as a "matter of principle". Of course, she could not explain the principle, except that she didn't want to tip. I was livid at her and explained that those people make sub-minimum wage. She didn't care. After that, I couldn't stand her. Her name was Mrs. Akutagawa but I called her "Mrs. Akudama" behind her back - roughly translated, it means "evil jewel" or "focus of evil".

I would never weasel out of tipping unless the service was atrocious, but I also only tip 15%. I'm not wealthy enough to splurge.

[LynneSin]

15. If service was so horrible that they don't deserve a tip....

...you better believe I'm bitching to management about it. Usually that gets me a free meal out of it. Other than that I will always tip even subpar service. But subpar service is usually getting around 10% whereas really great service is getting 20%+

I waited tables on and off for 10 years including 3 years where that was my main income. As a waitress, you cannot survive on simply 15% because you usually have to tip out the Bartenders, the busboys, the foodrunners....UGH!!!

So I made it a point to give the best service possible and I usually averaged around 18% a night on tips. That was awesome because I'd tip out about 3% of that to the above mentioned folks and take home 15% for myself!!!

[St. Jarvitude]

19. The waiter would have to insult each and every party member to get no tip

I've only not tipped the waiter once, and it was in Austria where tipping is considerably less important.

I (the only member of my party who speaks German) overheard our waitress talking to a fellow employee about her desire into our food because we are American. She also insulted us with various Austrian mannerisms as she served our food.

As she came over to bill us, I tapped her on the arm and said to her "Ich spreche Deutsch, und Sie sind so dumm wie eine Scheiße" Needless to say, I didn't tip.

[JitterbugPerfume]

24. tipping is the decent thing to do

I always make sure to tip the maid in Hotels-- but I put the tip in HER hand

My niece worked as a maid for a while and she said it was the hardest crappiest job on earth

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. LOL!

Good response!!

"Sie sind so dumm wie eine Scheiße" - bet her jaw dropped. :-)

[hlthe2b]

21. I don't penalize the waiter/waitress for bad service if they are attentive

and apologetic. If they ignore me, are overtly rude and there is no seeming explanation for it (restaurant not busy, no rude patrons observed), then yes I will leave the most minimal tip possible. Reasonable service to me means 15%; exceptional service is 20% or more; extremely poor service is 10% or less and I would consider leaving nothing (with a comment card explaining) on extremely rare occasions when the service was inexcuseably and appalling without apology.

So it is a responsibility, but also can be a reward, IMO

[MrSlayer]

22. I believe in overtipping.

I never worked in service but I know they get paid like shit. I always tip more to counter those cheap fucks who don't tip at all.

[Th1onein]

23. I don't go out to eat if I can't afford to tip well

I used to wait tables. I raised my children by waiting tables. My daughter earns her living by waiting tables. These people make very little hourly, and I consider it my responsibility to make up the difference. They DEPEND on my tip, to earn a decent living. I will never, ever, ever tip less than 30%, no matter how bad the service.

I took an employee out to eat last night. The service was slow, to begin with. I called the waiter over and told him, "Look, I used to be a waitress and my daughter is a waitress now. I believe in tipping at least 30%. Your service is slow, but if you speed it up, I will tip you more." He improved his service, and I improved his tip.

The bill was $53.00, the tip was $47.00. If this seems exorbitant to you, then you've never stood for eight hours on aching feet, pasting a smile on your face, to make a living.

[DS1]

25. I give them some advice on the way out - they love it

:7

[Lady Effingbroke]

26. You people are AWESOME!

It's so nice to know that there are people who care so much about the restaurant workers/delivey drivers and who tip so well! :grouphug: to all of you, you guys and gals rock! :yourock: :headbang:

[Susang]

28. When someone only makes $2.51 an hour, you bet its a duty!

Hardest job in the world, it cost me my health and a great portion of my sanity until I finally had to quit the business. Its amazing what people will expect you to do when they know they have a certain amount of power over you.

If I don't have the money to tip adequately, I don't go out. Period. End of message.

[Taverner]

30. My rule: Unless they purposefully insult you, knowingly and intentionally

ALWAYS tip 15%. Take the attitude that you start at 15% and go up from there depending on service. They will be taxed on 15% so it goes to stand that you should start from there, and only go down if they do something so rude and insulting that it warrants it. Bad service or bad food does not count as rude and insulting, btw.

[JohnKleeb]

31. right 15% is like the mininum

[SarahB]

32. Yes, it's a duty!

And if I have the kids with me (extra mess), I tip 20-25%. Usually, I'll do 15-20% (generally closer to 20), depending on service if it's only adults.
The only time I didn't tip was when I was brought a coffee after lunch with lipstick on the cup. I sent it back and she was rude. Then she brought back the same cup, with the lipstick poorly wiped off yet told me it was a new one. I sent it back, got the check, paid it, and left no tip. I felt that was inexcusable and it was a very small lunch anyway.

[Shananigans]

33. As I leave for MY serving job I say THANKS...

to all of you nice tippers out there. Although this is my second job, I still really rely on the income I make serving. Because of our low base pay those tips make a huge difference!

Thanks so much and wish me big tips tonight! :)

[JohnKleeb]

35. Sure

Believe me, I understand what its like, kills ya feet, ya attiude, and you got these asshole customers who expect perfection, and managers.

[HEyHEY]

34. It's a privlege

I always tip well, but seriously, if the service sucks, or the server is a dick - I don't tip. IT's not some kind of right that you have.

[ikojo]

36. I tip but am increasingly uncomfortable with the notion....

I have been told that the reason we should be obligated to tip is because the restaurant owner pays the wait staff so little in hourly wage. That means, that I and anyone else who eats out, am subidizing the low wage paid by the restaurant owner. Generally the lower the wage the cheaper the product but that is not so when one eats out. Restaurant food is not cheap but the staff is still paid very little.

Not all service is good service either. I find that when the tip is automatically added, for large parties, the service tends to be of poorer quality. The wait person knows a tip is coming because it's already figured into the bill, so why should he/she do anymore than is necessary. I don't expect them to grovel but I would like to be acknowleged and don't feel that is the case when the tip is part of the bill and the choice to tip is taken from me.

[IronLionZion]

37. You HAVE to tip god damnit!

servers get like $2 an hour (seriously) because in America they make their money from tips and must list tips on their tax forms. Tips are their main income.

Having worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher, I get extremely hostile when my cheap-ass friends don't tip at all. I mean come on! A restaurant can't cover all its costs and pay its servers just from selling you some burgers and beers! You have to give something. 15% is good most of the time. Really expensive food doesn't deserve an expensive tip and really cheap food doesn't deserve a really cheap tip either.

And if you get a free beer on your birthday or something you should still tip for that.

[JohnKleeb]

38. I know, I know

youre right.

[pink-o]

39. I too waited tables

for many years while I tried to get an artistic career together. And I'm not surprised how many fellow Du'ers have done the same. Food service is one of those proletarian jobs that snobby repigs would never stoop so low and soil their hands to do. After all, it is honest, hard work--not something the repigs are known for!

In fact, I find that the hoi polloi working class are FAR better tippers than those with R's on their voter registration cards. I doubt any of us on this site are rolling in cash, yet we're the ones who'll tip the most because we empathise and have all done something similar in our youth. If I were still a waitress, I'd rather serve a Kerry supporter to the alternative any day!!!!

PS..it's Reagan that started taxing tips. Someone in 1983 figured there was kabillions in undeclared income, and they brought Big Brother in to increase our taxes, while corporations continued to find loopholes and never pay a cent.

Bastards

[Xithras]

40. EVERYONE should stop tipping tomorrow.

When we tip we are perpetuating a bullshit economic model that treats servers like chattel and allows the restaurant owners to increase their profits by shaming the public into paying the wages they won't.

We need to have a National No Tip day, where everybody refuses to leave their servers any tip beyond the cost of their meals. Servers, rather than being the docile servants they are today, need to walk off their jobs and SHUT THE RESTAURANTS down until they start paying a living wage...or AT LEAST the federally mandated minimum wage.

I rarely dine out anymore, but when I do I refuse to support the oppression of workers by allowing their employers to underpay them. Yes, that DOES mean that I don't tip (except in rare occasions when a server is particularly impressive). I'm sorry if that pisses some of you off, but you should take your anger out on the people that deserve it...the owners that underpay you in the first place.

[Susang]

41. Let me get this straight

You don't tip, even though you know that it is the accepted custom in our society and also knowing full well that your not tipping harms the economic reality of a fellow human being. And you do this because you say you refuse to support the oppression of workers? That's fucked up. If that were really true, Then wouldn't you just refuse to eat in a restaurant that required tipping?

Oh, and speaking of refusing to support the oppression of workers by allowing their employers to underpay them, tell me... do you ever buy fruit? How about your clothing, is it all made in the United States and certifiably so? How about your home furnishings, electronics, shoes, musical instruments, etc.? All of these items are made by workers who are being oppressed by their employers who choose to underpay them, and yet you choose tipping in restaurants to make your stand? Unbelievable.

[MissMillie]

42. 15% to 20% for good service. 0% for counter service.

I don't know how the counter "tip cup" came to be, but I refuse to use it.

[OneBlueSky]

43. none of the above . . . it's an option . . .

that you should exercise when the service is good . . . or even adequate, since waitpersons rely heavily on tips for their income . . . but it's also your prerogative not to tip if the service sucks or if the waitperson has an attitude . . . I generally tip 20%, but will cut it to 10 or 15 if I'm not well taken care of . . . and I have, on rare occasions, left no tip because the dining experience was spoiled by poor service or a snotty attitude . . .

[LWolf]

44. Responsibility.

I take my responsibility pretty seriously. My mom waited tables at night as a second job to keep us in food and apartments growing up.

I waited tables as a second job raising my two sons while I was a single parent. My tips kept us in gas and groceries.

I don't tip bad service as well as I do good service, but I never stiff a server. My usual is 20%. More if it was a big table with a bunch of separate checks. When I go out to lunch or dinner with colleagues from work, I sometimes tip more than my actual meal. I look at a dozen people who all ordered $10 - $12 lunches and kept the wait person hopping, and then half of them leave a dollar, while the rest don't leave anything at all. I linger, look at what they leave, and then make up the difference out of my pocket when they aren't looking.

That said, I'm ambivalent about some of the tip receptacles I see these days; maybe it's a cultural thing. But I do not tip people who hand me a drink or fast food in a bag at a counter. In a sit-down coffee shop, counter service is tipped the same way table service is. To go service is tipped as well; I'm taking a server away from her tipping tables to take care of my to-go order. But I don't tip the guy at the post office who reaches in his drawer to get me some stamps, or the lady at the counter in the dept. store when I buy a watch, or the cashier at the grocery store.

[greekspeak]

45. Nothing is more embarrasing than eating at a table where no tip is left

My grandmother never left a tip. She always said, "They should just pay them better." So to this day, unless there are some seriously extenuating circumstances, at LEAST a 10% tip is left on the table.

[JohnKleeb]

46. they should pay better, she's right

but to make up for that, you have to take a little intiative.

[greekspeak]

47. My point exactly

I could never get her to understand that not tipping one's waitperson was not the correct path to raising said waitperson's wage.

[Darranar]

48. Responsibility - those people get paid...

very little for a lot of work.