I have a question about virginity...

[Bronco69]

Does virginity necessarily mean sex with someone of the opposite sex? For example, if I am a gay man and I have never had sex with a woman, but I have had sex with men, am I still a virgin? Or, if a woman has never had sex with a man, but she has had sex with other women, is she still a virgin? I'm just curious. :-)

[Safi]

1. Thats a damn good question...

...for George W. Bush. $5 dollars to the reporter who asks it.

-Safi

[Book Lover]

2. Oh, this gets complex

as there are so many different takes on virginity. For me, a modern feminist woman, I'd say that once you have or make another have an orgasm in your prescence you lose your viginity.

Hey, this would be a great Savage Love letter. I'm off to my email account right now...

[Meshuga]

20. If a woman never has an orgasm

Even when she already had various partners is she still a virgin? I don't think so. I don't think that orgasm is what counts. I think the level of intimacy is what counts.

[Book Lover]

21. Point well taken

I hereby modify my original statement.

[Meshuga]

22. Otherwise I would be a virgin...

I never had an orgasm so I was defending myself. I fake it every time I'm with my wife. Now when I come to think of it, how did she get pregnant? :+

Damn mailman! :-)

ps. I'm just kidding by the way! ;-)

[sally343434]

3. Oh please...

Jeez, "Bronco." At least you didn't start with, "I have this friend."

[Bronco69]

8. ROFL!

:-)

[2Design]

4. for a women it is the hymen being gone that is the end of virginity

so it is a physical thing. aLot of people have for play which can involve all those things same sex people could do but it doesn't mean they lost their virginity....

[Gyre]

5. Not true.

Hymen doesn't need to be intact to be a virgin. What about girls who tear their hymen during athletics but who've never had sexual intercourse? The virgin is a person who's never had sexual intercourse. Sheesh!

Gyre

[Meshuga]

19. Also...

Some situations a hymen might not break with penetration. The penetrated virgin is no longer a virgin even though she has her hymen.

[XanaDUer]

6. Naw, you can break the hymen

by putting in a tampon too roughly. THat does not make the girl a non-virgin.

[salinen]

7. Penis enters Vagina

Man goes nuts, shoots his load, woman remains unimpressed. That's how one loses their virginity.

[Professor_Moriarty]

18. The woman also lights up a cigarette afterward and starts singing

"Is that all there is"? Now she is a certified nonvirgin.

[Taverner]

9. Virginity is a meaningless term

Technically it means a woman who has never had sex, but then there are definitions that virginity means one who has not engaged willingly in sex...and then there are those who beleive you can be a "born again virgin."

Personally, I think we should ditch the whole idea of virginity. I didn't like being a virgin, and I sure as fuck don't miss it.

[mairceridwen]

12. i see no problem with that

getting rid of the term entirely

[mairceridwen]

10. if you limit sex to intercourse

you're just buying into the idea that heterosexual intercourse is the only "legitimate" kind of sex.

If you are gay, you lose your virginity the first time you have sex with someone. What is "gay" sex...is it oral sex? is it anal sex? is it fist-fucking? I prefer to think about it as the first time you do something of a sexual nature and feel as though you've reached a different level in your personal sexual development...I mean a profoundly different level. Something fundamental.

Then there are all those 13 year old girls running around giving head to guys and maintaining they are still virgins...are they?

It can be a symbolic gesture...what you consider your "first" time. A friend of mine was raped at the age of 14, but maintained that she was a virgin until she had her first experience with consensual sex when she was older.

If you think of all the cultural and social meanings attached to virginity in the first place, I see no reason why we can't change it to keep up with how attitudes about sexuality are changing.

[kyattaman]

11. Please Don't Reproduce

[mark414]

13. ha!

:D

[UdoKier]

14. What's your problem?

It's an innocent enough question.

As a person who explored all the available avenues in my youth, I wish we had a society that encouraged young people to do so. When I talk to gay men friends in their 30s or 40s who have NEVER been with a woman, it just seems wrong to me.

Straight people who are "grossed out" by the thought of same-sex relations seem weird and rigid to me too.

I eventually decided that I did indeed prefer women and monogamy, but the thought of a guy doesn't gross me out. It's all just people. Then the gay guys who think a woman's flower is a "fishy trench" or whatever - how do people get these negative associations about genitalia? I really think their parents must have taught them at a young age that everything down there is "dirty".

I guess people will get over all these weird hangups about sex around the time world peace is a reality.

[Bronco69]

15. Well, um, I really don't plan to

seeing as how I'm a gay man and all. :-)

[eyesroll]

16. This came up a bit in "Chasing Amy"

Holden and Alyssa debated this very question -- he had a hard time believing anything that wasn't penetration was actually sex (that counted against virginity, anyway).

It used to mean, for women, "intact hymen," but now we know some women are born without; others tear them during sports, self-exploration, tampon use or a medical exam (I do remember reading somewhere that if a gynecologist accidentally tore the hymen of a young woman in a particularly religious community, the doctor would write a note, so her future husband wouldn't think her unworthy. :eyes:)

I think "virginity" is a pretty useless term, actually -- I think it means what you want it to mean. A friend of mine who had only had sex with women did indeed use the term "virginity" when she described her first intercourse with a man; but would I do the same, reversed? If I had sex with a woman, would I say I'd lost my virginity, even though I've been sexually active with men for a long time? (I have used the term "girl virgin" tongue-in-cheekly, but I'm not sure I'd use it seriously.)

We put too much stock into virginity anyway -- it's why we have 14-year-olds having oral and even anal sex, because they believe they're still virgins unless they've had vaginal intercourse.

Do you consider yourself a virgin? (A "girl virgin," perhaps? ;-)) I think that's about what matters.

[Meshuga]

17. I think oral sex or finger disqualifies you as a virgin...

whether you take it or give it.

You lose your virginity with any type of sexual encounter.

A woman can still have her hymen after penetration so the presence of a hymen doesn't make her a virgin.

I don't think you are a virgin.

If a prostitute has a problem with her vagina and she only lets the customer use the back or get oral sex does that mean she is a virgin?

Same goes with a man.

If you lick it you lose it!