Alright, that tears it! I'm running for pres. What should my platform be?

[Rabrrrrrr]

Someone's gotta run who's strong, ethical, moral, and has all the freedom to act and speak that comes only by living behind the safety net of a theoretical campaign without any real risk of actual dialogue.

This really is the best way to run. :-)

Given the perfection of the theoretical campaign, in which no one can actually challenge me, what should my platform be?

What would be YOUR perfect campaign platform, knowing that you don't have to explain to anyone how it's gonna work, how it's gonna be paid for, or even make any compromises to get it to work.

Here are some of mine:

1. Universal healthcare
2. Corporations, domestic and foreign, pay US taxes on all business conducted within the US. No off-shore tax-dodge bullshit.
3. Severe penalty for being Thomas Kinkade
4. Budget always balanced
5. Massive national campaign on etiquette and civility
6. Veterans get free healthcare for life
7. Retired senators, congressmen, and presidents only get pension if they worked 25 years, like any other job would do it
8. Funding for the arts up 1000%
9. Teacher salaries up; school funding up
10. Truly progressive income tax
11. Religious nutjob whackos remain free to be nutjob whackos, but no longer able to affect legislation or even vote

[alittlelark]

1. Don't forget - no tax exempt status for churches

that delve into politics in any way, shape, or form.



Rabrrrrrr for PREZ

[GoddessOfGuinness]

2. Replace the cap on how big big-businesses can get...

It's supposed to be the government of the people...not the gov't of the corporations.

[enigmatic]

3. Don't forget the Platform Shoes!

heh.

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. And Nehru jackets and medallions!

That'll be the Rabrrrrrr equivalent of the Chairman Mao party outfit! Everyone in chains, medallions, unbuttoned silk shirts, platform shoes, seriously bell bottomed pants, and unshowered olive-oil soaked bodies.

[mairceridwen]

4. ah

Me:

The first thing I would do is make every starbucks a Planned Parenthood then:

1. Universal Healthcare, including access to reproductive health (low cost, safe abortion, access to all forms of birthcontrol)


2. socialized funding of education through grade 16 for public schools and universities

3. massive funding for arts

4. 3000% tax on bullets

5. progressive laws on drugs and prostitution

6. a truly progressive welfare program

7. mandatory voting with the option of *witholding* your vote and if more than a certain percentage withold their votes, we do the whole thing over...or some other voting incentive programs

8. progressive environmental policy

9. fire the secret service and replace them with professional wrestlers

10. create new cabinet position, "Secretary of Whup-Ass"

[dweller]

5. choose Robb for your running mate

sew up the undecided/swingbat/dingbat voters.

dp

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. A Robb/Rabrrrrrr ticket!

We'll make the legal alphabet just a, b, o, and r.

[baldguy]

7. Public financing of political campaigns

-Eliminate the concept of corporate personhood.

-Reinstate the "equal time" provision for news a political talk programs

-Corporations doing business in the United States must follow American law with regards to safety/health/labor/environmental regulations

-Put a $20 tariff on each barrel of oil used in the US. Use the revenue to fund the development of alternative fueled automobiles.

-Every high school graduate gets $4000 each year for college

-Professional athletes and actors shall be prohibited from holding public office

-Free peanut butter for everyone!

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Good one on the corporate personhood

I'd also ban all campaign donations by corporations, profit and not-for-profit, unless they are specifically a political organization.

And no corporate donations to those organizations.

Love the oil tarrif idea as well. Part of my platform would also be to kick a shitload of money into alternative energy resources. Kennedy wanted us on the moon by the end of the 60s; I want us off our oil and other fossil fuel dependancy by the end of this decade, with a planned reversion of all existing factories, cars, etc., into the new fuel types by 2020. Except natural gas we'd have to keep using, cuz cooking on anything else sucks. Unless we can find something that's as good. Which I doubt.

[carpetbagger]

8. Protect us from terra with a giant beer moat.

I heard those Ay-rab terrists won't go in no beer moat.

[name not needed]

10. Mmm... Beer moat *drool*

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. Mmmm, beer. Is there nothing it can't do?

[ldf]

9. make it absolutely clear

that you have the guts to fight back and that you WILL fight back. you will NOT let them define you.

americans are desperately looking for real honesty.

and if you ran, start a new party. quite frankly, the democrats do not have what it takes to deal with the issues as they should be dealt with. i would be with you in a new york second. many others would be, too.

[havocmom]

11. a chicken hawk in every pot

we'll do more later

[onebigbadwulf]

14. That's a LOSER platform. Here is a winning platform...

Take away rights of gays.
Force prayer in school.
Put more people on death row.
Ban all abortions under penalty of death.
Start wars with weak countries and steal their natural resources.

Edit: Oh yeah... kill all them aye-rabs.

NOW THAT's A WINNER!

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Unfortunately, you are right.

That IS the winning platform.

makes me ashamed to be a human.

[greatauntoftriplets]

15. How about pensions for everyone who has worked 25 years?

I don't get no pension.

[St. Jarvitude]

18. Make a new flag:

Prototype #1:

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. LOL! I love it!!

Consider it mine, if you don't mind!