Today's Customer from Hell: I'm Gonna Have To Call Crisco Johnny!

[jmowreader]

She was a sweet lady. Maybe 26. And she's a schoolteacher.

But I'm still going to have to turn her in to the government.

Why? Because not only is she making an evil WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION :nuke: but she's GOING TO TAKE IT TO A SCHOOL AND LET LITTLE CHILDREN PLAY WITH IT! :scared:

Oh, the horror.

Oh, the agony.

Yeah, this lady came up to me on Sunday and asked if I had any quarter-round moulding. (Asking a lumberman if he has any quarter-round is like asking a butcher if he has any meat.) She only needed a little bit of it.

"What are you making?"

'A trebuchet.'



"And what are you going to throw with it?"

'Oh, just tennis balls, but I'm only going to let the children shoot marshmallows with it.'

Yeah, right. Like I believe that. That "only tennis balls and marshmallows" line might work on some people, but I saw those four sixteen-foot 6x6 timbers, the huge tarp, and the 500 feet of rope you bought.

No, no, I know that you're going to CORRUPT THE MORALS OF OUR IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH by casting huge concrete spheres out of all that concrete--she didn't buy any, but I think she's just trying to throw me off the trail--and lobbing them DIRECTLY AT THE CUMBERLAND COUNTY REPUBLICAN PARTY HEADQUARTERS! With children watching! While all of them are in there! Therefore totally eliminating the opposition...

Uhhh...what the hell am I saying? Turn her in? Nay, let's encourage her! How much concrete should I comp her? :evilgrin:

[fishnfla]

1. Have you been sniffing fumes in the paint section again?

maybe you should get a transfer to Lawn and Garden.

But no sharp tools for awhile.

[jmowreader]

2. Lawn and Garden is where they HAVE all the really nasty shit