Things you DON'T want to hear coming from the Cockpit on an airplane.

[Endangered Specie]

"Hic-cup, this here is some mighty fine whiskey!, want some... Dont mind if I do, *glug* *glug*..."

"Hey, wheres the PLaystation-2 Joystick?"

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. "oops... what'd I do?"

"Hey bob... what does 'jetison' mean?"

[Renew Deal]

12. lol

The lounge is wild tonight.

[Endangered Specie]

2. In the voice of Beavis and Butthead: "Heheheh, hehehe, so this is...

the Cock PIt hehheheeheh, COCK PIT, hehehhehh"

[miss_kitty]

4. hehhehhehhehehhehehhehehhehehhehehheh! you said

'COCK!'

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[No2W2004]

5. I trained in the Texas Air National Guard to get out of 'nam......

lemme try flyin this thing! Hey, pilot-boy, get yer ass outa that chair!

[TheMightyFavog]

6. I could go for a cup of coffee and a blowjob right about now....

Actually heard by an old high school friend after the pilot het his mic hot. One of the flight attendants ran up towards the cockpit, and my firend, the assholr he is, yells "Don;t forget his coffee!"

[mark414]

8. liar!

that's an old joke!

[lpbk2713]

7. Um, what do you suppose that switch does?

I wonder what would happen if I ........ OH SHIT!!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. "What the hell is it doing now?"

"What does the red light mean?"
"Hey, watch this!"

[Ready4Change]

10. Hey, watch this!

More:

That's odd.

I thought you topped off the tanks?

Say, where'd all the land go?

I heard on the radio someone else made it, so let's go.

I thought YOU were MY instructor!

And finally, I'll repeat someone elses:

Oops.

I repeat it because I said it once. After I got things "straightened out" my passenger made a polite suggestion that I never, EVER use that word in the cockpit again.

[krkaufman]

11. "Folks, this here's yer captain speaking...."

"... George Dubyer Boosh."

[AndyTiedye]

14. "This is Yer Captain, George HW.Bush -- I'm Bailing Out. Good Luck! Wooosh

like Bush Sr.'s late crew....

[foxy]

16. I resemble that sig line dammit.

That's sad..........

[7th_Sephiroth]

13. uh, ladies and gentelman

if you'll look to your left you will see and armed f-15 fighter jet about to shoot us down for violateing israelie airspace

[serryjw]

15. This is your Captain..Introduce yourself to the Christian next to you!

[TheFarseer]

17. I was on a flight.........

where the flight attendant said VERY excitedly when we were about to land, "Oh My God, We're coming in way too fast!" Not confidence inspiring to say the least.

[Bossy Monkey]

18. Uh-oh.

Also, "Holy shit, Dan, where'd you put the manual?!"
"Oh really? This is my first time flying a jet, too!"

[enigmatic]

19. "This is your Captain, at least until I jump out of the safety door!"