I shall now expose the true identities of several of my fellow DUers.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

Now, we all know DU is riddled to the gills with stealth Freepers and disruptors ;) , however, not everyone knows that several DUers are living a lie. In my never-ending search for universal truth, I've decided to unmask them all as the liars they are.

'Whoisalhedges' is not Al Hedges. No. He is secretly evil Tony Blair.
'Fenris' is Canadian has-been 'rocker' Bryan Adams.
'Eyesroll' is in fact, long-dead tubby comic John Belushi, returned to us through the magic of 'Prolesunited's' Ouija Board.
'jpgray' is, in reality, every former member of perennial English post-punk wasters The Fall, posting in unison.
'Donkeyboy75' is neither a donkey, nor the year 1975. He is in real life faded Australian actor Bryan Brown.
'Doloamber' is Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall. But you knew that already.

I myself am Phil Collins. Perhaps.

I will return to unmask others at a later date, but you can rid yourself of the guilt and loathing by unmasking yourself now. You know you want to.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. You won't unmask me, will you?

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

3. Clue #1. His head is entirely made of cheese.

$1000 to the usual address to make me stop, JCCyC.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

13. The Czech is in the male (nt)

[Meshuga]

6. You are Lula

Now, get back to running Brazil!

[ThomCat]

2. I KNEW IT!

I did.

Really.

Well, not really.

No. I didn't

[eyesroll]

4. That's a total lie and you know it.

I'm not John Belushi.
I'm Jim Belushi.

But, on that note...Asthmaticeog is really Rachel Ray. I know -- I've met him and everything.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

5. You're the crap Belushi?

The shame.

I knew all about Astmaticeog, mind. It's the voice. You can't disguise that.

[eyesroll]

9. Why do you think I'm trolling for chicks?

I mean...sure, my TV character married up, but...I swiped that poor editor girl's picture and identity about six months ago. Last I heard she got some really funny looks and at least one proposition at the last conference she attended...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. Yes, but this is all 'According to Jim'.

[mourningdove92]

7. "Please don't "out" me, please please don't "out" me.

My boss would probably fire me, and I don't think Kerry would be interested in hiring me.


thanks for your consideration in this matter. If I had known exactly where in Tora Bora OBL was hiding, I would have encouraged the leadership to go get him.

condi

[Dookus]

8. thank you for not exposing

my secret identity.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

11. Your secret is safe with me, Ms. Doherty.

[Susang]

10. I see that my disguise is still intact

At least for now. :scared:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

14. Is it? Or isn't it?

Or, in fact, is it?
Hmmmm?

[eyesroll]

19. Oh, I've met Susang too..

She is indeed a Susan in a manner of speaking...but let's just say she's not being desperately sought anymore.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

21. Suddenly?

[Susang]

26. Excuse me?

I'll have you know that many seek me and often! Of those seekers, most are desperate.

[eyesroll]

41. Just being coy, Madge.

[Susang]

22. Time will tell

Or maybe it won't. Time's like that, very capricious.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

23. No, but Morris Day and the Time will.

I've got them following you, Susan.

[Susang]

28. I always feel like somebody's watching me

I had Rockwell dispose of them. They'll not trouble me again.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

30. That's OK.

I have an elaborate back-up plan involving various cast members of St Elmo's Fire.

[Susang]

34. I have a can of hairspray and a lighter

And I know how to use it.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

35. Oh, you're good.

I may have to send Yahoo Serious after all.

[Susang]

42. He may be Einstein....

But he ain't young anymore. I could easily outrun him. :P

[Screaming Lord Byron]

43. NOOOOO!!!!!!

Curse you, Susang. Curse you.

[JohnKleeb]

12. could any of you get me a beer or a smoke?

rough day ya hear.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

24. Why should I, when you are in fact Ernest Borgnine?

[JohnKleeb]

25. just who in the fuck is that

[Screaming Lord Byron]

29. Here you are, Ernie.

[JohnKleeb]

32. youre not telling me who he is

I see who he is but who is he and I really do need a cig or a booze!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

33. Here's your bio.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000308/

[JohnKleeb]

39. thats impossible, I cant be him

3 inches, I am taller.

[terrya]

16. Dear God...PHIL COLLINS??? It's worse than I thought.

You..."Sussudio"...

Yikes!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

18. YES! NOW, DO YOU REALIZE MY AWESOME POWER?

Can you hear it, calling in the air tonight? Can you, Terry?

[Susang]

31. The power to suck the life out of any music

It is indeed an amazing and fearsome talent.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

40. YES! My cod-soul nonsense and deeply pretentious lyrics

can destroy lives and lay nations to waste! BWAAHAAHAAHAA!
With my evil sidekick Chris deBurgh, I shall enslave humanity in AOR hell!

[Susang]

44. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know what you're planning. You're going to play Sussudio and Lady in Red back to back until we all crumble, aren't you?

You bastard.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

45. That's what happens when you Don't Pay The Ferryman.

[Susang]

46. Don't think twice, cause its another day for you and me in paradise

At least that's what Patricia the Stripper says. ;-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

48. I'm sorry, I momentarily cannot recall any of my other hits.

The relief is palpable.

[Susang]

50. I could remind you of a few

But you would only use them as weapons in your evil plot, so I will refrain from giving you ammunition.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

52. Phew.

I'll take that at Face Value then, shall I.

[Susang]

56. Easy Lover

We'll just have to lead our Separate Lives, Against All Odds. Either way, I Don't Care Anymore.

[matcom]

17. *sigh*

ok, ok.

you got me.

I am really Ann Margaret

[Screaming Lord Byron]

20. It was the purple hippo that gave you away, Annie.

[matcom]

27. shut up and worship my body

you know you do

[nicolemrw]

36. i could tell you who i really am...

but then i'd have to kill you. ;-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

37. Thank you, Mr. Geldof.

[nicolemrw]

54. ooooooohhhhh......

your in trouble _now_.... ;-)

[eyesroll]

55. Welcome to DU, Bob.

[elperromagico]

38. I'm Lead Belly's illegitimate great-grandson, Lard Belly.

Hello all. :hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

47. Yeah sure...let's see ya!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

49. Very well. I don't want to do this, but I have to. It's only fair.

NSMA is really David Hasselhoff. Hence the surfing avatar.

[name not needed]

51. You'll never find out who I am...

[eyesroll]

53. You are Anthony Michael Hall.

Duh.

[name not needed]

57. Wrong!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

58. Prove it.

Prove you're not Anthony Michael Hall.

[woofless]

59. Oh, Okay. I'm

Wolfman Jack.

Woof

[SarahB]

60. Whatever!

I am a mystery in an enigma wrapped in a puzzle. You cannot find the real me on a map, buddy!

[eyesroll]

61. You are the entire population of Casselberry, Florida.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

62. Isn't that what Churchill called Russia?

Aren't you a little too hot to be Russia? ;)

[SarahB]

63. Wrong to you both!

I am Andy Rooney and I am currently brushing my eyebrows.

Anyone have a pick handy?

[Susang]

64. Watch out for ticks!

You can get Lyme disease from those little buggers. ;-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

66. Ah.

You know this means I can never consider you hot again, Andy? Respected veteran journalist, yes. Hot babe, no. :evilgrin:

[SarahB]

73. That's ok.

There's enough people out there with an eyebrow fetish that I'll still be fine. :P

[cmf]

65. You convinced me. Here i am:

[VOX]

68. Ahh!

Easy, there -- my startle-response is maxed out today! :)

[VOX]

67. Hello, my name is Bill W., and I'm an alc--oh, jeez, WRONG thread!!!

Actually, I am Harry Carey, Jr.'s saddle-soap.

Put **that** in your opium pipe and puff on it! :)

[catzies]

69. So, Phil, you were in "A Hard Day's Night."

How didi it feel being engulfed in the wave of pubescent estrogen that was Beatlemania?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

70. It inspired me to make terrible cod-soul records in the eighties.

[SOteric]

71. I am really Kermit the Frog

's sidekick Fozzie Bear. The puns were about to give me away, weren't they?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

72. Damnit!

I was sure you were P-Funk superstar George Clinton.