DU parents, I need your help about babysitting!

[Lukymom]

Well, DU parents also think about their families besides the election, so here I go... :-)

My son is 21 months now and I never had a babysitter before (besides my mother-in-law, but that's for free and doesn't count! ;-) ).

So now I'm going to the gym and he's giving me a hard time when I leave him at the gym's daycare. He sees the place and clings on me as if there was hell, and cries when I'm about to leave. Of course, it breaks my heart to leave him crying, so I'm thinking about hiring one of the girls that work there to came here on our home to babysit him for a few times, so he gets familiar with her and won't be so scared when I leave him at the Club. Plus, my husband and I could go to the movies or just spend some time alone, which would be really nice too since that's very rare for us to have time alone since the baby was born... I'd be solving two problems at the same time. ;-)

Do you guys think this is a good idea? And if so, how much does a babysitter charges? I have no clue about how much it can be, and I'd like to have at least an idea to be fair with the sitter (and not having her laughing when I made her my offer... :-).

Any help is very welcome!!!

Thanks, guys!

[mrboba1]

1. That sounds like a good plan to me!

I would ask her what she would want for doing it - then work from there if you think that's too much for your budget.

[Bunny]

2. Sounds like a reasonable plan.

Separation anxiety is gut wrenching, isn't it?

I cannot answer you about the babysitter cost - check with other moms in your area.

On edit - how the hell do you spell seperation? Separation? Dang, I can never get that right!!

[skygazer]

3. My suggestion

Talk to the people at the daycare and find out how soon he stops crying and settles down. This is common behavior with kids this age no matter what the situation - home or day care center. It's really hard on the parent but usually you'll find that once you're gone, they've calmed down quickly. If it's a reputable daycare that you trust, I wouldn't worry too much.

Little kids are dependent upon their parents and they don't yet have a sense of time or understanding that you're not leaving forever. Don't draw out the goodbyes - that can trigger more anxiety - but don't simply disappear. An affectionate goodbye, an assurnce that you'll soon be back, will usually work fine.

I have three grown kids and have gone through this. It's hard - you feel like a monster. But if you'd like to hire a babysitter from there anyway for dates or whatever with your hubby, that makes sense. It would be someone familiar with credentials. I don't know what the going rate is.

[AngryOldDem]

4. I would make sure I knew the gal well....

...but then I guess you knew that. Reason I say that is that I used to take my older son to the gym, and the short time I was there was more than enough for me. But, I tell ya, a good babysitter is hard to find, so if you think she could work out, go for it.

One situation that did work out for us was when we hired our oldest daughter's preschool teacher as our babysitter, when we had just moved out of state and knew absolutely nobody in town. It was a good arrangement, except that she went to college out of town and was not always available (she worked during the summers and on school breaks, etc.). But she was great with our kids, who loved her just as much.

As for pay...start with suggesting $5-8 an hour and negotiate from there. Be sure to set the ground rules as to what she can and cannot do in your home while you're away, too. I'm a little rusty on the going rate for babysitters these days (my oldest -- the one mentioned above -- is now old enough to take charge and we just pay her a flat rate of $20-$25 for an evening).

[readmylips]

5. When my kids were young...

I always looked for an older grandmother to babysit. They were more responsible, loved the kids and fullfilled their emptiness. And I always asked if there was a firearm in the house and if it was locked up.

I once hired a babysitter to come to my house, after I had set all the rules, she violated all of them. She was on the phone for over an hour after I was gone. I tried calling to check on the kids and couldn't get through. I had to return home and fire her.

My neighbor told me she found her babysitter having sex on her bed when she came home. She was furious. There are some responsible teens out there but I felt safer with an older grandmother type.