YES! Only 24 more hours until "Sabado Gigante!"

[short bus president]

Last weekend, purely out of a random combination of chance and bordeom, I flipped on one of the Spanish-language networks and discovered a game show. Now, my Spanish is not as good as it was 15 years ago (and it pretty much sucked festering lizard anus back then), but I was able to get the basic gist of the competition and play along, and I even learned something, which I'll now share with those among you who may also have been living in the dark as far as your personal awareness of turtle sexing.

Someone correct me if I misunderstood what the guy was saying while holding the tortoise and gesturing - he seemed to be explaining that you can tell a male turtle from a female turtle by the underside of the shell. On a male, it's markedly concave, and on a female, it's pretty much flat. He went on to explain - in a language I don't understand, mind you - that this is necessary for turtles because if the male's undershell wasn't concave, he'd slide off when he went to mount the female for making baby turtles.

Now you know. And knowing is at least 2/3 of the battle. Fuck G.I. Joe and his wrong math!

[JesseRamone]

1. thanx for the info

i'll keep it in mind when i'm mating my turtles. by the way, turtle sexing would be a good name for a band. and of course i agree with the G.I. Joe point. that's why i melted him in the oven.

[DS1]

3. I like you

We'll be friends :toast:

[short bus president]

8. DAMMIT ALL TO HELL, DS1!

This is MY Lounge weirdo! I discovered him/her, and YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM/HER as part of your stable of Lounge freakshows! I hereby offically declare SHENANIGANS!!!



Oh, and :hi: howdy Uncle Jesse!

[flamingyouth]

2. Don Francisco!

He is great. I love that show. :D

[short bus president]

9. Is Don Francisco the fat guy with no eyes

or the scavery-looking guy who holds up the animals?

[flamingyouth]

11. The large one n/t

[burythehatchet]

4. does Sabado Gigante mean Huge Head?

[alarcojon]

7. Giant Saturday

[MuseRider]

5. That is correct.

I was a zookeeper for about 4 years. Male turtles use that crease in their shells. They get on top and lean backwards. The shells lock together. There you go. I am certain there is someplace on the net that explains it better but that is what I remember from 20 some years ago when I worked in the Reptiles and Amphibian building.

[short bus president]

10. OK - so you can back me up on this...

I've only ever seen desert tortoises making the sweet, sweet turtle love, but it ranks among the most comical things ever to fly through my pupils. I distinctly recall the male tortoise following the female around, mounted, for literally hours on end. Each time he climaxed, he'd stick his neck way out and his little tortoise head would start bobbing up and down furiously, in a display that mimicked the ejaculatory spasms of a human penis a little too closely for non-giggly comfort. Then he'd just stay on for another round, and he repeated the little head-bopping thing again every time he "finished." Still makes me laugh (yeah, and maybe a little bit horny, too) to think about it.

[petronius]

14. Don't forget the weird noise they make

At least, last time I saw Galapagos tortoises at the zoo, it seemed like half them were on top of the other half, and the males were making these high-pitched groans as they went through their motions...absolutely hilarious!

[short bus president]

15. Yeah - the desert tortoises make a gasping kind of sound

when they're doin' it, and they really have an "old man" kind of look about them, anyway, being turtles and all, so to see them doing the turtle nasty was pretty fucked up. It was a lot like that part in "Cocoon" when all the oldsters were getting laid. Creepy.

[TA]

6. You can also tell the macho turtles from the others because

They have bigger concaves

[enigmatic]

12. Don Francisco is Da Man!!!!

So's his toupee...

[Kat45]

13. Now you'll know if your box turtle love is male or female.

:D