I'm starting a BETTER cult. Who wants in?

[JVS]

In fact this cult will be the BEST in the universe, so I don't want to see some dumb "I'm starting the best cult. Who wants in?" thread here in the lounge. Ask for spiritual advice now, and tell me what you think you can help bring to our tight-knit and loyal spiritual community.

[salvorhardin]

1. Well...

I can bring a certain undefinable boyish charm to the group -- plus a complete Styx collection (upto Caught In The Act, after which they sucked). Oh -- and a killer tuna-noodle salad.

As for spiritual advice...
When the UFOs arrive, will be there anal probes? I don't think I'd enjoy that very much.

[JVS]

4. The UFO will arrive and we will help them conduct the probes of others

We will NOT be probed ourselves.

[JVS]

6. BTW you're in, but leave the tuna at home

it has an odor which is displeasing to his holiness (i.e me)

[mrboba1]

2. I like the location of the other cult better...

so NO WAY!!!

[JVS]

7. that's not nice

[mrboba1]

11. ...

:cry:

[wtmusic]

3. Visa just pulled my card

can I still join?

[JVS]

5. Yes, but all donations coming from you must be made in cash

[wtmusic]

8. Great! But I'm gullible and my self-esteem is low...

still room for me?

[JVS]

9. Of course. Being in those situations makes you need our healing even more

We would be happy to have you join us to become whole.

[mark11727]

10. I don't wanna shave nothin', or snip off any bits of myself.

[JVS]

12. Good enough

You will have to be willing to have fun and drive the "bus of enlightenment" back from the bar when it is your turn to be designated driver though.

[markus]

13. Furthur

Will the bus be blue?

[JVS]

14. Multi-color

which includes some blue

[JVS]

15. CULT ORDER: there will be no playing of "We built this city"...

in either the compound or the bus of enlightenment

[JVS]

16. MEMO TO THE FAITHFUL: we have purchased a Kegerator

We now have beer on tap