I'm starting a cult. Who wants in?

[eyesroll]

Post your questions and requests for membership here.

[mrboba1]

1. thank god. I was looking for one.

Who/what are we waiting for?
When are they supposed to arrive?
How will we travel?

[eyesroll]

2. 1. Enlightenment. Duh.

2. They're already here.
3. Razor scooter.

[mrboba1]

12. Excellent.

1. was a test for you - to make sure you were right for me.
2. Good. I hate waiting.
3. I have one in my carport. I'll be waiting - don't take too long - remember, I hate waiting.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

3. How short will our skirts have to be?

I can handle mid-thigh, but I'm not comfortable in the super-minis.

[eyesroll]

7. You can wear your family tartan in whatever length you choose.

No fishnet stockings, though. Sorry.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. No? OK.

How about boob tubes? Can I wear a boob tube?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. Here's the family tartan, btw.

What do you think?

[eyesroll]

20. Red Xs suit you.

And a boob toob is perfectly appropriate.

[asthmaticeog]

34. I didn't know Pollack was a Scot.

Or is that a Jon Squire?

[eyesroll]

37. You see Pollack?

I see a red X.

I suppose a refresh is in order.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

41. It's a Pollock.

Interestingly enough, Jackson Pollock was of Scottish descent. It's a Scots surname.

[tigereye]

44. ah the Pollock family tartan

[salvorhardin]

4. Does it involve

lots of free sex and consumption of tons of cannabis (smoked or otherwise)? No silly suicide pacts?

[eyesroll]

10. I do make a mean pan of brownies in the Alice B. tradition.

And there will be no Kool-Aid or death shrouds or bunk beds. Because free sex is difficult after too much Kool-Aid, while wearing death shrouds or in bunk beds.

[Phillycat]

5. Is there a dress code?

And what about an enigmatic, attractive leader whose sexual prowess is legendary?

[eyesroll]

See above. Byron can't wear fishnets. Everything else is OK.

And I prefer enigmatic, attractive cult members whose sexual prowess is legendary.

[Phillycat]

32. Done! Oops, that is...I mean...done!

:evilgrin:

[wryter2000]

6. Depends

What kind of beverages does your cult serve?

[eyesroll]

16. No Kool-Aid.

We've got a well-stocked bar, though.

[wryter2000]

68. Sign me up

I think I joined a clique a while back, but I should also be able to be in a cult, no?

[asthmaticeog]

8. Will there be punch and pie?

...and nothin' funny in the punch, before you go gettin' ideas.

[eyesroll]

18. More people will come if you say there will be punch and pie!

:bounce:

[Beware the Beast Man]

11. Can we "empty our containers" when the comet comes?

[eyesroll]

22. No -- you gotta do that every morning.

I mean, that's just unhygenic otherwise.

[Lavender Brown]

13. Would we have to leave our pets behind?

:cry:

[eyesroll]

23. So long as the cats stay away from my birds, pets are welcome.

Come on...I'm a charismatic leader, not a monster!

[johnnie]

14. I started a cult about 8 years ago

Everyone is in it until I kick them out. It's sort of a reverse cult, and no one really knows they are in it. One day we will take over the world.

[mrboba1]

17. LOL!!

I don't know why, but that really struck me funny!!

:D

[redqueen]

19. What're we worshipping?

Bowling shoes?

Kielbasa?

My decision hinges entirely on such unimportant details...

[eyesroll]

24. Whatever suits you.

It's not exactly about the worship, see...If we say we're religious in nature, we get a tax exemption on the compound.

[asthmaticeog]

30. Where will the compound be?

I dislike hot climates - the bugs tend to get too big for my comfort in the warmer climates.

[eyesroll]

33. Hm...that's a good question.

Anyone have an old missile silo for sale or something?

[asthmaticeog]

36. Yeah, Russia.

[eyesroll]

43. Hm....my ancestral homeland.

I bet I could get a good deal around Motl.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

46. How about this?

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/09/14/kitsault040914.html
For sale: abandoned B.C. town with lovely view
Last Updated Tue, 14 Sep 2004 14:19:33 EDT
VANCOUVER - If you're in the market for 92 houses, a hospital and two rec centres, an abandoned B.C. mining town – with a $7-million price tag – may be worth a look.

Real estate agent Rudy Nielson, with Niho Land and Cattle Company, said the view from the town is its best selling feature.

"It's a fjord, like you'd see in Norway," Nielson told CBC Online. "You can see big glaciers. And within one mile of Kitsault, there are eight rivers and creeks.

[eyesroll]

49. Wow. That's perfect.

Hell, I'm gonna bookmark that, case I ever come into $7 mil (canadian, even... a seal...)

[redqueen]

50. If I had the money

I would SO buy that town. My own town! I could make my own laws!

Like no pants... ever! Wait... it's cold there, right? Nevermind that, then.

But ... just imagine the possibilities!

:evilgrin:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

51. It's not that cold, it's the BC Pacific coast.

Not much colder than Seattle or Portland.

[redqueen]

53. Oh hells yeah!

I was thinking east coast... this is too good to be true!

Now if I only had 7 million... wish I had the stones to knock over a bank or something. :(

[asthmaticeog]

57. I. Want. That.

What's a fair down-payment on 7 million?

[redqueen]

62. Maybe we can all chip in and buy it and make it DU CULT CITY!

Who's in?

I have three dollars and a handfull of pennies.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

63. Well, if Bush steals the election, you could split the cost with 1000

others. That would be like $5000 US each.

[asthmaticeog]

66. I've got a thousand bucks socked away.

And I think we can take redqueen's three bucks and change - I'm confident she's good for the rest somewhere down the road.

This needs to be its own thread...

[Donkeyboy75]

84. That'd be great. 1000 DUers in 92 houses.

I call the right to not board with hedges. I will not live with a Reds fan.

[mrboba1]

86. I'm a Cubs fan.

Does that give me a house to myself?

[Donkeyboy75]

87. Well, I'd at least let you move in with me.

I think we'd effectively have the whole place to ourselves, what with our Old Style farts and all.

[mrboba1]

93. excellent! rock on!

:yourock:

[redqueen]

52. Then I'm worshipping kielbasa

Mmmmmm... kielbasa.... and beer! :9

When's Oktoberfest?

[eyesroll]

55. Hm...sounds like a Cleveland cult!

:D

Oktoberfest is perpetual. I'll get my dirndl.

[redqueen]

65. Perpetual Oktoberfest?

I wish they had jobs there. What could be better than beer, kielbasa and polka?

But do they do the chicken dance? They *always* do that here, and I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it. It's so embarassing.

[eyesroll]

67. Dennis Kucinich said that beer, kielbasa and polka were three signs

of civilization.

I'm not a Clevelander, but I can't imagine they don't do the chicken dance there. (Asthmaticeog? Beastman? Back me up on this.)

[redqueen]

70. Yes, I know

That's why I love him.

:loveya:

[asthmaticeog]

80. We do indeed

do the chicken dance here. And by "we" I in now way mean to include myself personally. Beware the Beast Man can speak for himself on this matter.

And while I do rather like the idea of a Cleveland Cult, I think it would be a bad idea unless there were some prior affirmation that sports-worship would not be tolerated. Browns fans terrify me worse than spiders.

[asthmaticeog]

82. Perpetual Oktoberfest for Perpetual Peace!

[XNASA]

21. What's the punch line?

Or should I say, 'Where's the punch line?"

[eyesroll]

26. Better Nate than lever.

[matcom]

25. can my hippo join too?

[mrboba1]

28. I'm out if that hippo shows up!!

:grr:

[eyesroll]

29. You'll have to keep him outside, but otherwise, sure.

[matcom]

40. What if its RAINING???

that's blatent descrimination!

:grr:

[mrboba1]

45. dude! hippos love water!

We'll dig him a pond to play in - just don't bring him in!

[eyesroll]

47. We'll have a rain shelter.

I just don't wanna be picking up hippo poop or hippo spunk from the carpet...

[terrya]

27. Is there a Happy Hour during the week?

Or maybe more than ONE Happy Hour?

[eyesroll]

31. It's always happy hour, Terry.

:bounce: :toast: :bounce:

[terrya]

48. Of course!

Your cult will be so perfect!

:bounce: :hi:

[Beware the Beast Man]

35. Do we get our own gunmetal trenchcoats?

:D

[eyesroll]

39. If you find one, knock yourself out.

I'd like to think mine is one-of-a-kind...

[Phillycat]

38. Can we have a hot tub?

[eyesroll]

42. What kind of cult doesn't?

:shrug:

[ProfessorGAC]

54. Do I Have To Associate With Other Cult Members?

If i do, forget it!
The Professor

[eyesroll]

56. You can do our accounting or something.

:shrug:

[ProfessorGAC]

58. Eeeep! Accounting!

The only thing i hate more than people is accounting! (Well, accountants, anyway.)

Could i just organize our thinktank on-line from my basement office?
The Professor

[eyesroll]

61. Fair enough.

Welcome aboard.

[Guy_Montag]

59. Do we have to renounce worldly wealth or anything?

I'm not rich, but vows of poverty aren't really my thing.

[eyesroll]

60. Of course not.

Why would I want an impoverished cult?

[Guy_Montag]

64. I thought you might take it off us,

in a sort of, "you have no need of material goods, give them all to me" type thing.

[Phillycat]

69. Can we have birthday parties with festive hats?

[eyesroll]

71. Whatever works for you.

:party:

[truthspeaker]

72. Any voluntary group-sex rituals?

[eyesroll]

73. I'm afraid looking at your sig pic has forever put that sort of thing

out of my mind. Eew.

Figure that one out amongst yourselves.

[Phillycat]

74. One last question.

Will you absolutely guarantee NO Republicans?

If so, I'm officially in. :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

75. How do we know you're not a stealth republican?

Huh? Huh? }(

[Phillycat]

76. I can type complete sentences.

Doesn't that prove it?

Huh? HUH??? :evilgrin:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

77. Or at least, what you think are complete sentences.

As a Republican, how would you know what they were? HUH? HUH? HUH? :silly:

[Phillycat]

78. Um.

Okay, you got me there. I'm stumped.

Okay, I can prove I'm not a Republican because I'm pretty cute? Republican women have been categorically proven to not be cute.

There. Ha!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

79. Photographic evidence is needed.

;-)

[Phillycat]

83. DAMMIT. And no photos on the work computer!

So, I'll have to offer the final proof that I'm not a Republican.

I haven't thought about Bill Clinton's penis ALL DAY.

[prolesunited]

81. Perhaps we need to subject you to a spelling test

Which is the correct spelling?

moron or moran

[Phillycat]

85. This seems like an inside joke I don't know yet.

The Oxford English dictionary spelling of the word for someone stupid enough to vote Republican is "moron". I'm not sure what that other thing is there.

[prolesunited]

88. Yes, it is an inside joke

based on a Freeper holding up a sign spelling it moran. So, in his honor, his type are often referred to as morans.

Anyone care to post the picture? I don't have a link handy.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

89. Just google 'Get a brain, morans'.

[redqueen]

90. Always happy to help. :)

[Phillycat]

92. Ooh, sexy!

I especially enjoy the mullet, the beer gut, and the irony!

Isn't there a little puke-y icon around here somewhere? :puke:

[mrboba1]

91. pic:

[arwalden]

94. It Doesn't Have To Be This Way. YOU CAN ESCAPE!!!!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1685484
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1685484
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1685484