Why do I have to keep having bad dreams about my dead parents?

[NightTrain]

My mother died in 1994, my father in 1998. God knows they were far from perfect--dad was an alcoholic and mom was mentally ill--but does that mean I have to keep having bad dreams about them all these years later?

Now I'm going to be in a down mood all day. And I still have to go to work. Goddammit! :cry:

[happyslug]

1. Sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

PTSS can be caused by any form of Stress not just Combat or other severe forms of Stress. You lost both parents in four years, a loss of any parent is stressful no matter how prepared (or not prepared) you are for the event. Remember your parents have been around ALL OF YOUR LIFE, now they are no more. PTSS can reveal itself years after the event, you have to accept it and get on with your life (i.e. get to work).

[LisaLynne]

2. I agree about the PTSS

I had it years ago from a non-combat situation and one of the main symtoms was really bad dreams.

Also, you might want to think about anything that was going on in your life at the time your parents each died that might be similar to something that's going on in your life now. It could even be something as simple as the fact that you were moving to a new house at that time and are doing so or thinking about doing it again. Or switching jobs. Something that maybe on a subconscious level reminds you of that time.

It sounds like you had a rough time with your parents. If you've never spoken to a councelor, you might want to try to find a really good one and spend some time working through your past. From my own experience, I can tell you, just having somebody to talk to can make a world of difference. Good luck.

[NightTrain]

7. It would be great to have someone to talk to...

...even in a relationship situation. Unfortunately, I'm not that lucky right now. Perhaps I need to get out more! :eyes:

I will, however, think about getting myself into therapy. Who knows, it just might help! :hi:

[Big Kahuna]

3. My Father passed away 2 years ago..

he too, was an alcoholic, and was very troubled and sick in his last few years.

I am a Wicca, and we celebrate Samhain (or Halloween) as a time to honor the dead, and honor in general the yearly cycle of death and rebirth in nature. The following Samhain, the real meaning of it just hit too close to home, and I was not able to do anything about it. The following year, I was "haunted" by bad dreams, guilt, anger, etc..

I'm not "preaching" Wicca to you, but perhaps you need to do something, within the framework of your own beleifs, to honor, forgive and say goodbye to your parents.

[NightTrain]

6. A lot of my closest friends are Wiccan.

Although I'm an atheist, I do find Wicca to be a fascinating religion.

[pdx_prog]

4. My father died in 1979..

I still have dreams about him from time to time.....I usually wake up smiling, and missing him....:)

[NightTrain]

5. I envy you!

When I dream about my parents, I usually wake up in a cold sweat. :(

[roguevalley]

8. you're still working out what you feel. PTSS could account for the sadness

but the rest just seems like you're trying to work it all out into some sort of liveable thing. Find someone to talk to and talk until there are no more words. sometimes just saying it will relieve you. You only have yourself to talk to now, honey. Hugs to you for now. {{{HUGS!}}}

[Bossy Monkey]

9. Do the dreams correlate at all with high stress in your life?

My mom died last year; most of my dreams about her are pleasant enough and erase the senility of her last five years. Mostly I suspect that bad dreams about any subject are more an expression of stress levels in your waking life than a comment on the relationship with the figure in the dream. I mean, if you dreamt about being attacked by a dog, would that mean that you have issues with all dogs?