When were you the worst employee EVER?

[HEyHEY]

I was having a chuckle in the office about a shoe store I "managed."
It was one of those deals where I was being paid minimum wage to be the manager, but was not officially called the manager - bastards.
So for my revenge, I used to give shoes away to customers, friends and the like. We also laughed at the customers to their faces for asking dumb questions - my "assistant manager" Olga once kicked a lady out of the store for making a mess. It was funny as hell.
We also used to rotate on three hour breaks.
That is just the tip of the iceberg..... we did way more including sex in the store after hours.
And would you believe after I left they fired everyone I hired? Most of them were my friends.

HAHA!

Fucking Shoe Warehouse.

[JohnKleeb]

1. You remember my job bagging last year?

That would be it. I'd fall asleep standing up after being tired from school. I lost my hat and stuff. Really, thank god I am a great FAA employee because that's gonna be a refereance for a while, now the bagging hehe, thats something I'd like to forget.

[HEyHEY]

2. All you need is ONE good reference!

[JohnKleeb]

4. Not only that

I got one teacher from freshman year who would work as a good ref, two from sophomore year, and umm around 3 from last year. I couldnt get a hold of all them but I had 3 teacher references on my resume for political science.

[complain jane]

8. I spit in a bowl of Baked Ziti

when my sister's boyfriend turned up in a restaurant I worked in years ago, with another girl in the middle of the night.

Hope he enjoyed his meal.

Another guy I worked there with was having a hard time with an outrageously nasty woman he was waiting on. Her dinner bread took a covert trip through his underpants before landing on her table.

And then, then...

A different guy who worked there was having a hard time with another bitchy woman he was waiting on, when she interrupted him while he was taking another table's order to blurt out that she wanted more pickles with her sandwich. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of dripping wet garlic pickles, opened the kitchen door and hurled the whole thing across the dining room where they landed, bouncing and splattering, on the back of the woman's head.

I never saw him again.

Ah the good old days.

[Parche]

3. SHOE STORE

At least you had a lot of Sole

[HEyHEY]

5. Man back in those days I woulda insulted you good for that!

[Burma Jones]

6. When I took a dump in my racist nazi boss' desk drawer..........

[pagerbear]

7. It was a mystery to all of us why they kept me around

...except my boss (the Red Menace) had been heard to say she wouldn't give me the satisfaction of being on unemployment. I had absolutely nothing to do most days. Nothing. Nada. I wrote letters, surfed the web, made phone calls, took care of personal business....

[DS1]

9. when I 'accidently' dropped a metal file into the guts of a 15 liter

diesel engine - AFTER filing down all the bolt heads and hose adapters to perfect round.

fuckers.

[HEyHEY]

10. Now THAT is evil

[LostInAnomie]

11. When I worked in the Garden Shop at Kmart...

... was probably when I was the worst employee. It just so happens it was the shittiest job I ever had too. I would be the only one working in what was probably the biggest area wise dept in the store where some days it would get upwards of 110 degrees. I also had to put up with old BITCHES would thought that I should be an expert in all things garden related.

I built a hiding place out of lawn furniture boxes and would take 2 hour naps. I took leaks in some of the plants. I let shop lifters go on numerous occasions. When I was supposed to collect carts from the parking lot I would push about 5five at a time into a drainage ditch by the store. If customers came up with an attitude and would ask me where stuff was I would say "I don't know" and just give them a blank stare until they walked off.

It was great.

[marlakay]

12. Best and worst at same time!

I was the number one in sales and the bosses loved me but the girls I worked with were jealous and I only got about $20 more for selling more so I started going online and letting the others catch up. This was a few years ago, since then I quit the job. No one ever knew except me and I thought if I have to do such stupid things I should leave, so I did.

[RobinA]

13. Worked in a Store

Somebody in our department was stealing from the register. I was pretty sure I knew who, but didn't have proof, it was just a hunch. I felt sorry for the guy because he had health problems and they wouldn't hire him permanently because then they would have to give him health insurance.

I also hated the head of security with a purple passion. He was a macho Vietnam vet who would act all hardassed about sticking to the rules and not trusting anybody, but then he'd ask for favors for himself that he didn't allow for other people. Once I found a set of gas station keys on the shirt table. I called reported it because I figured that if I lost my business keys I'd be beside myself. Someone did call in about the keys and they were returned to the rightful owner. The rightful owner also gave the "person who found the keys" a $10 reward and a free tank of gas. The security guy kept the $10 and told me I could go there for the gas. I couldn't believe it.

Anyway. when they were trying to catch the thief, I did not express my suspicions to the authorities, even though they pulled me aside and asked me if I knew anything. They used to watch the registers in my department, so I would go up to the register, do a No Sale using my employee number, and the drawer would come open. This would screw up the drawer audits, because they could see I had opened the drawer for no particular reason, but they couldn't catch me stealing anything, since I wasn't. I used to do this from time to time on all the drawers they were watching for the thief. Took them forever to catch the guy. But they finally did with a marked $20 bill. My tiny attempt to screw with The Man.

[toddzilla]

14. i worked at a hotel in banquets..

I once told a customer we were out of water.

I gave customers that hung out too much cold coffee to get them to leave.

If you were rude to me, you may never see me again the rest of the night.


Want your meal last? Be an asshole, it was guaranteed.

I also left once during a shift because people were smoking in the ballroom and they got away with it because they were "good customers".

[Hobarticus]

15. Telemarketing...the graveyard of souls.

You're supposed to take three "no's", but one no, and I said goodbye. No way was I keeping people on the phone when they didn't want to be. My supervisor was going nuts, my numbers were still pretty good but I was timed by how long I was on the phone and it was obvious I wasn't paging through the whole script.

It was a crappy credit-card protection racket.

I was sleeping with another supervisor at the time, which was forbidden, which made it that much better.

When I finally quit, I just called my supe over and said I had to leave. She asked if I was sick, and I said that I was quitting. Bam. On the spot. Nothing against her, its just that the job blew, and I had two other jobs at the time.

I still got to sleep with the other supe, too.

[cmf]

16. Camp Counselor

I was actually pretty good with the kids, but I spent a massive amount of time flirting with my male counterparts.

[GOPNotForMe]

17. When I worked food service at a theme park.

Worst. Job. Ever.

I would feel guilty for selling such incredibly overpriced items to people who often times spend YEARS saving up for a vacation; the customers would get pissy over the prices, like I had any control over it; I would get frustrated; then feel guilty again. Very vicious cycle.

But it was fun every morning riding the roller coasters before the park opened. Never needed coffee to wake up in those days!