Screaming Lord Byron Funeral Schedule

[sundog]

The bastad didn't leave a dime to DU, so we're working on a shoestring budget here.

9/25/04 - Casket on display at the Moscow, Idaho Valley Mall Rotunda from 3-9
9/26/04 - Casket on display at the Needles, California Circle K Parking Lot form 8-8
9/27/04 - Casket on display at the Great Smoky Mts Nat'l Park Visitor & Education Center in Tennessee from 8-3
9/28/04 - Casket on display at the Toronto Esso Gas & Convenience-Mart on Southbound 401 from 7-9.
9/29/04 - Casket returns to Moscow, Idaho Mall Rotunda from 8-8 before returning to Calgary.

Wake to be held at an undisclosed Denny's which is centrally located.
God speed.

[Tripper11]

1. Pssst....Sundog....

the 401 goes East/West....not north/south...unless you were thinking of the 427, or the 404 (Don Valley Parking lot :-))

[sundog]

2. How can you bother me with formalities at a time like this???

[Tripper11]

4. Terribly sorry.....

I just didn't want people to get lost....in traumatic times like these, it's tough on people, especially when they are going the wrong way....hmmmm...sounds familiar.

[Sporadicus]

3. I'm Sending My Regrets, Being Unable to Make the Funeral

but I'm sending a representative in my stead.





Only a poet with the stature of Percy Dovetonsils can deliver a eulogy with the eloquence that Screaming Lord Byron deserves.

[Wat_Tyler]

45. That is all too true.

Thank you.

[liberalmuse]

5. How I love the smell...

of a corpse in the morning. Though I won't be able to attend, I send my sincerest condolences to everyone who knew the deceased.

[Donkeyboy75]

6. Man, that's an ambitious schedule considering his will dictates

that he is not to be embalmed. Are they going to cremate him, or assimilate him into the Denny's cuisine after the wake.

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. He will live forever as the "Byron Skillet"

:9

[sundog]

14. We bought lots of air freshener... we couln't afford formaldehyde...

[curse10]

8. Please send donations to NMBLA in lieu of flowers

thank you.

[Magrittes Pipe]

9. Come on now. He didn't look ANYTHING like Marlon Brando.

[name not needed]

10. Can we send the casket my way for a day?

Schedule it for 9/30 at the parking deck at the Bridgewater Commons Mall. From 1-6.

[underpants]

11. But we can all rest easy in knowing that he went out Screaming

Which is a comfort to us all.

:evilgrin:

[Donkeyboy75]

12. Actually, no.

That was the unfortunately audible sound of gas escaping from his bloated corpse.

[underpants]

13. Damn!

Did he sit bolt upright?

[Wat_Tyler]

23. That happened to William the Conqueror.

His bloated corpse exploded during the funeral.

[DemBones DemBones]

37. You're making that up

aren't you?

My dad told me that Lord Nelson was stuck in a barrel of rum but the sailors drank all the rum and "that's how Nelson was spoiled."

[Wat_Tyler]

40. I couldn't make that up. Here, look for yourself.

http://www.wordiq.com/definition/William_I_of_England

He died aged 60 at the Convent of St. Gervais, near Rouen, France, on September 9, 1087 from abdominal injuries received from his saddle pommel when he fell off a horse at the Siege of Mantes. He was buried in St. Stephen's Church, Caen, Normandy. In a most unregal postmortem, William's corpulent body would not fit in a too-small stone sarcophagus, and, after some unsuccessful prodding by the assembled bishops, exploded, mephitizing the chapel and dispersing the mourners.<1>

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

15. This agenda is fitting, since the dude primarily just "lay in state" when

it was alive, anyway!:P

[Wat_Tyler]

16. I got revenge on his killer.

MumblingPeasantSteve is dead. You heard it here first.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

20. But dude...you're dead too!

http://www.historyguide.org/ancient/wat_tyler.html

[Wat_Tyler]

22. Giant government conspiracy, my dear.

[tigereye]

43. I am sooo confused

:cry:

I wish he would make up his mind! or remains, or something.

[Cheswick2.0]

17. What did he do?

I am assuming he was tomb-stoned. Is there a thread where he does a kamikaze?

[Bossy Monkey]

18. Changed his name to MumblingPeasantSteve.

And now apparently has changed it again to Wat_Tyler. Go figure.

[Wat_Tyler]

21. Let's face it, would you take a guy seriously with the name

MumblingPeasantSteve? I wouldn't. Hence the more sensible new name.

[Bossy Monkey]

24. Wat Tyler's name was actually Mumbling Peasant Steve; he couldn't

get a good rebellion going until he changed his name either.:P

[Wat_Tyler]

25. Yep.

Although his first choice was Larry Lurex, I hear.

[JohnKleeb]

31. damnit Wat

[arwalden]

44. Why Would You Assume Such A Thing?

[Robb]

19. I like the idea of passing the corpse around...

...like players on championship Stanley Cup team.

Myself, I will not make lime jello in his skull. Nope. Won't do it. :P

[Jo Callis]

26. Wat_Tyler is dead.

Long live the Rezillos!

[Wat_Tyler]

27. SOCK PUPPET! SOCK PUPPET!

I expect to see WhitacreD_WI back next.

[Jo Callis]

28. He's been tombstoned.

He was a Stone Roses fan. :puke:

[Wat_Tyler]

29. Thank God. I hear Salman Rushdie signed up here today.

[Jo Callis]

30. So did Cat Stevens.

It's gonna be a loooooooooooooong night.

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Wat_Tyler]

35. Oh, shit.

[JohnKleeb]

34. hah

[JohnKleeb]

32. You don't have eulogies?

Someone has to give a eulogy.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

36. Wow...

They still have Circle Ks?
Duckie

[UrbScotty]

38. Which reminds me: When are they ever going to canonize Ronald Reagan?

Had to ask.

[DemBones DemBones]

39. Saw an old SNL last night, mentioning Ronald Reagan natl holiday,

which would be a day when you have to go to work but wouldn't make any decisions and would fall asleep before noon.

:evilgrin:

[JVS]

41. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

:cry:

[HEyHEY]

42. Check his pockets, he owed me ten bucks

A debt is a debt