Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls

[arwalden]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0904/aquapets.html

Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy
Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!

ACTION ALERT: Christians Declare Holy War on AQUAPETS!

The manufacturing label on Fisher Price's new, Aquapet toy reads, "...they even have a few secrets, can you discover them?" For 7-year old church member, Martha Chumsky, that discovery was made late last Tuesday evening, when she walked into her parents' bedroom looking for her toy, only to find her mother standing naked as jaybird in front of the bureau mirror, wiping off her daughter's Aquapet with a dirty wet rag.



As is required under the Landover Baptist Patriot act, Martha did her duty as an American Christian citizen and reported her mommy's suspicious behavior to church authorities. Since her report was filed, there have been over two-dozen isolated, but similar incidents regarding lewd activities of a sexual nature where Aquapets were involved in whole, or in part.

<SNIP>

MORE http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0904/aquapets.html

[arwalden]

1. Being Sold At Amazon.Com... This Is A REAL Item. OMG!!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0001CU1B0/qid=1096221532/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/002-4284964-7300022?v=glance&s=toys&n=507846

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. LOL...

How funny. Hi Allen! :hi:
Duckie

[Mikimouse]

3. Gives a whole new meaning to the concept of...

Pokemom, er.. I mean Pokemon. Bad Mikimouse, bad Mikimouse! Here, I'll spank myself!:spank:

[BiggJawn]

4. Does it sing?

Could open up a whole new angle on "I got the music in me!"....

"Pokemom"...that was a GOOD un! :7

Uh, what's up with those reviewers? Were they the kids that were so ugly mom had to tie a pork chop to them to get the dog to play with them?

"...It feels some much like a pet. I think this is perfect for someone who just wants a friend!"

Uh, it's a plastic toy.

[Mikimouse]

7. Bwahahahahahahahaha! "I got the music in me"...Excellent!

"...It feels some much like a pet. I think this is perfect for someone who just wants a friend!"
One wonders what kind of pets these children have been given in the past?

Thanks for appreciating the 'Pokemom' line, by the way. I strained my single functioning brain cell to come up with that one.:hi:

[skippythwndrdog]

5. It smells fishy to me.

[Deja Q]

6. Does it vibrate when that knob in the middle is turned?

I don't know what's more sinister: The article or the toy. LOL!

Oh, and at $10 each, I can collect them all!! :7

Isn't this product a waste of plastic though? :shrug:

[Mrs_Beastman]

8. HAHA!

[deadparrot]

9. Holy crap. Priceless. n/t

[salvorhardin]

10. Oops

Oops.

[JVS]

11. I would not buy this toy for a kid

[madrchsod]

12. read the reviews

on the amazon site!!!

[arwalden]

14. I KNOW!!! Those Are Absolutely Hysterical!!!

[drb]

13. Landover Baptist is SATIRE!

Good satire, funny satire, hard-hitting satire.

But satire!!!

/humor alert

[terrya]

15. That reminds me of a guy I once went home with.

Of course, he didn't have a Aquapet inside his penis.

[realisticphish]

16. I Love Landoverbaptist

some guys in my dorm and i spent about 2 hours debating whether it was satire or not, but when we saw the Lambuel thong, we knew:)


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat