Does music threaten your relationship?

[FunBobbyMucha]

Picking up on what KoolZip was talking about with his wife's musical tastes, I know I was unable to rationally hang the pics in the living room because my wife called me down from the studio and its XTC-blaring bliss and then wanted me on a ladder putting nails in the wall to the strains of...Stevie Nicks. And it wasn't even the Bella Donna cd. As a result, the baby pic arrangement looks horrible.

I love my wife, but...this is a major strain. Her refusal to accept that Elvis Costello is a God ("I don't like his voice" she shrugs), her dogged belief that each new David Bowie CD will be good, her willingness to put the "Sedated in the 80's" CD on in the car and never change it (while SKIPPING the only Pretenders song!!!)...it's enough to make you put the Repo Man soundtrack and push the volume button up to 11.

[Klapaucius]

1. Disagreement...

When I was still married, she listened to country, I tend to prefer industrial.... Ministry, that sort of thing. We found a happy medium, eventually... Weird Al.

K.

[mairceridwen]

4. you married a country fan?

ew.

(kidding)

welcome to DU

-mct

[vajraroshana]

30. lol, I did too....

And now 18 years later I actually like some of the old country like George Jones and of course Patsy Cline.

He likes some of my music, but has no use for Frank Zappa, so I mostly listen to Frank by myself or when my brother comes over for a visit. I still can't really tolerate REO Speedwagon, but thankfully he doesn't listen to them very often!

[EnfantTerrible]

2. Just play "Rumors" when your together

Should make everyone happy.

:smoke:

[FunBobbyMucha]

3. Sadly, the only Mac songs she dislikes

are the Lindsay Buckingham ones.

Good thing she's good in bed. lol

[EnfantTerrible]

5. Perhaps a hearing test?

Maybe it's a medical condition.


:shrug:

[Wat_Tyler]

6. My wife has a massive aversion to the Cocteau Twins.

:scared:

[redqueen]

17. Huh?

That's excellent 'mood music'.

[tigereye]

27. what kind of stuff does she like?

is she a music fiend like you?

[Wat_Tyler]

31. ish. She likes Pulp, and various other Anglo types of varying quality.

[tigereye]

32. interesting

my husb. has very similar tastes to mine... probably because we came out of the same university organizations, which had punk/alt/lefty orientations. And that is pretty cool. Plus he had to carry my drums around a lot when I was in bands... so he got to see a little bit of everything - Scrawl, Afghan Wigs, blues bands, weird punk outfits, improv ensembles, Eugene Chadbourne, Beat Happening, you name it.

As I was telling someone else, he was a little too much Eno-Cluster-etc. all night long at one point, but he also likes Peter Gabriel, Miles, Capt. Beefheart, Tuvan throat singing, jazz, etc. He is not as pop/punky as me, but thats ok.

[Phillycat]

7. Sometimes music keeps us together.

Even when things are tense, the overlap that we have of intense likes can always bring us together.

[fudge stripe cookays]

8. reprehensor and I are pretty similar....

but he still has a fondness for his metal days of old, and he hates my jangly college stuff.

I like King Crimson, but "Thrak" makes me mental. And he likes all this progressive Dream Theater/Liquid Tension Experiment stuff I don't enjoy.

He enjoys making fun of Todd Rundgren and Moe Berg's (TPOH) voices to aggravate me, and my love of cheesy 70s music drives him to drink.

When we take road trips, we have to compromise on John Hiatt, Bowie, or Peter Gabriel.

FSC

[redqueen]

18. HAHAHAHAHA!

Todd Rundgren!

;)

[fudge stripe cookays]

19. The wrath of the almighty be upon you!

Todd is God!

:P

[redqueen]

25. So I've been told...

had an old friend that was a Rundgren nut... loved to tease her about it. :)

Just kidding... he's OK, just not my favorite style is all.

Rock on. :)

[redqueen]

9. No

We just bitch about it a lot.

[mac56]

10. At my house it's mostly timing.

Even if it's music I know she'll like, I have to be aware of the timing and her mood. She may be in a no-music mode when I'm not.

Besides that, our tastes are mostly compatible. She reaches her threshhold with my 40s jump blues pretty quickly, as I do with her 70s singer-songwriter-tragic-troubadours, but mostly we find a way.

[RandomKoolzip]

11. The only thing my wife and I agree on is the Beatles.

Both she and I are huge Beatle fanatics.

But any music which sounds anything remotely like the Beatles, she despises! I am eternally confused by this. Loves the Beatles, but NOT Squeeze, NOT Costello, NOT Cheap Trick,etc. I just don't get it. The most melodic band of all time, and....goth. (Cocteau Twins, Neubauten, Cave, Siouxsie, etc.) Oh, and French pop music. She loves that shit (ick)

Long car trips are excruciating. It's a frigging NickCave-athon when she's picking the music. And when that's over, it's time for the Serge Gainsbourg! AAHHHHHGGGGHRHRHRH!!!

Still, I love EVERY SINGLE thing about her (apart from that).

[fudge stripe cookays]

20. Here let me put you in a road trip mood....

"You're one microscopic cog
in his catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by
his RED RIGHT HAND...."

:P

[salinen]

12. Not as bad as you

but still differing taste. She likes it rough and hard, Queens of the Stone Age, Maryln, Ween, which I kinda like, and I prefer ultra mellow and dark, Jeff Pearce, Eno, Jeff Greinke, Roach.

[SiouxJ]

13. Skipping the Pretenders is grounds for divorce

IMO. And, you're right, Costello is a god. XTC too?! You should have married me ;-) .

[FunBobbyMucha]

15. Can I get your number in case?

The wife also loves Rod Stewart, so I feel I've gotta keep my options open.

Where do stand on Morrissey, one of our only mutual artists?

[SiouxJ]

16. Not Rod too!

He ought to be strung up for butchering those classics.

Morrissey is cool though I'm a much bigger fan of XTC, Pretenders and EC. Have you ever heard the Pretenders' cover of "Every Day is Like Sunday?" Wow, is all I can say.

Well, you can always PM me if Rod gets to be too much ;-) .

[Donkeyboy75]

14. I have it bad.

My wife grew up in Indianapolis...so this explains a lot. She likes Journey, REO Shitwagon and Foreigner. :puke:

She used to give me a lot of shit about my music and how bad it was...but she's starting to come around. I get a lot more "oh, they're good, who is this?" But as has been posted before...car trips are hell. Music is the only thing we argue about in the car...

[fudge stripe cookays]

22. And you still married her?

One of the first questions I asked any date was their favorite musical artist.

The ones who answered "Bowie" "Elvis Costello" and "Neil Young" got to stay for awhile. The one who answered Bon Jovi didn't even get past the introduction stage. No love from Fudge for him.

REO Shitwagon. Hee hee! :D

FSC

[Donkeyboy75]

26. Well, she hails from Indiana,

so I had to cut her some slack.

Incidentally, she loves Neil Young. I am indifferent towards him.

And...she is teh hotsex. So I had to marry her... :evilgrin:

no, not a typo...

[BiggJawn]

21. Yeah...She just don't GET "The Walrus of Love"...

I put Barry on, and instead of getting all soft and cuddly and breathing hard, she just wants to worry about shit like paying the bills, and Chimpy stealing another election....

Thanks alot, Shrubya!

Vote for Kerry! Help Biggjawn get laid again!

[fudge stripe cookays]

23. He's more like a

Manatee of Love, don't you think?

:D

[politicat]

24. there's a good overlap, and for everything else, there's iPod....

Politicat looks at the CD rack, unused mostly since the advent of the mp3 and the big ass hard drive. She peers at the left side of the rack.

Mr. Pcat likes Kittie, Godsmack, Queen, Primus, experimental jazz, and metal. The Primus and the experimental jazz have a tendency to set my teeth on edge. The rest are... okay in short doses...

She peers at the center of the rack. We both like Pink Floyd, Garbage, Oingo Boingo, REM, Chumbawamba, Bad Religion, David Bowie, Type O Neg, The Pogues, Bare Naked Ladies, Enigma, VNV Nation and similar, Siouxie and the Banshees, electronica, east coast swing and classical variations (i.e. Xytras, Rondo Venezanio and Myleene Klass) . There's a whole stack of punk cds that we've downloaded from just starting out bands and burned; what's on the disks is what's worth keeping and swapping...

I like classical, west coast swing, harder electronica, Green Day, "goth"-pop (The Cure, The Smiths, Bauhaus, Peter Murphy, The Last Dance, The End Party, some Evanescence) Santana.... He dislikes my Laurie Anderson, is skeptical about the Afro-Celt Sound system and Peter Gabriel, likes the new Depeche Mode but wishes I'd throw away the old stuff....

We do okay as it happens. We've got 12 days of compromise music sorted into a mega-playlist, and something like 190 GB of music total....

Part is backgrounds: I'm 5.5 years younger (my first musical experiences were The Eurythmics; his were Pink Floyd and Queen, via his elder sister....) and I have a musical background that he doesn't have. Also, my hearing's better... I didn't live through a year of artillery fire.

But Wat_Tyler, I'd take your tastes if something happened to Mr. Pcat. You've got lots of stuff that I HAD... and had it melt in the AZ heat or just lost over the years....

Pcat

[tigereye]

28. fortunately my husb and I are very compatible musically

altho he is a bit tired of my return to punk roots/hardcorish-pop-punk trip lately. And he used to Eno excessively. But generally we like most of the same alt/weird/jazz/punky stuff and that is very, very good.

[Name removed]

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