Confession time! Who here has ever pissed off your campus's police?

[TheMightyFavog]

Come on, own up! We want details!

[ixion]

1. geez... more times that I can remember... back in the days of mischief

:evilgrin:

"There is a time and a place for everything, and that place is college."
Chef, from Southpark.

[Hawkeye-X]

2. Um.

I have. Let's just say I moved out of room away from my abusive roommate, and then some strange accusations came up through campus safety.

[slackmaster]

3. Fungus Festival, UC San Diego, 1978

They took pictures of me.

I got to see them when some UCSD police documents came under public scrutiny for another matter. It was pretty interesting - They had taken dozens of photos and gone through them to identify as many students as possible. In one of them there I was, with a circle around my face and an arrow and my name written in on the margin.

[TrogL]

4. You mean besides the 200 parking tickets?

...or using my house keys to open classrooms or the water dump or streaking the nunnery or scaling various fences or flashing the girl's dorm or dumping my roommate's notes out the window...

[ET Awful]

5. Well it wasn't MY campus, but a good friend of mine had a brother

who worked security at the community college where I lived.

We used to go up there at 2:00 AM and goad him into car chases around the school football stadium parking lot :) We'd take a different car reach time so he never caught on until one night when he finally boxed us in and found out it was his brother and me causing all the problems. He was going ape shit until we gave him a case of beer we had in the trunk and told him to mellow out :)

[kcwayne]

6. Oh yeah

It snowed in Austin for the first time in 17 years. It was a dusting of very powdery stuff that could barely make a snowball.

A campus cop drove by a bunch of us that were trying to have a snowball fight, and I threw a fluffball at his cruiser. If he hadn't seen me do it he would never have known, but he came unglued and hauled me down to the police station. His sargent told me it wasn't very bright to enrage the pinheads on his force (he called them officers), and seeming how it was the first time for snow in Austin for so long he could understand my youthfull exhuberance and all and let me go. Good thing he didn't think to ask me where I was from, because I had seen snow every year for the previous 7. What a maroon.

[Not Me]

7. HA! reminds me of an episode...

one year, I was living in a dorm that was kinda' near the campus police station. My room key, for some unknown reason, worked in the utility closet down the hall. Inside the closet were a number of working (as in dial tone) connections. One of my friends who was geeky enough to know the number identification numbers verified that they were not numbers from inside the dorm...in fact they were not even "campus" numbers.

That made for free outbound service for the rest of the year for just about the whole dorm.

Turns out they were the lines going to the Campus police data and fax hookups. And they figured out, just about May what was going on...but never were successful fingering anyone. They were PISSED though...

Calls to Europe, etc. Our bad.

[tcfrogs]

8. Not just the campus police, but the county sheriff's office too!

Got caught with three flasks in my girlfriend's jacket at a football game. Some fuddy-duddys complained about the drinking in the student section, and someone pointed me out. I guess I was mixing too frequently, so someone saw me.

Got an escort out of the stadium in handcuffs, by Campus Police and the County Sheriffs.

[phaseolus]

9. 1982. UW-Milwaukee Engineering Building, 11th floor. Many water balloons.

Yeah, I know, kinda tame, but some of the students walking into the physics building didn't have a sense of humor about water balloons appearing out of nowhere & exploding about 5 feet in front of them. Or maybe it was the building & grounds golf cart thingie who didn't like attempted bombings.

Dr. Baker, the department head, made me promise not to open the windows anymore & tried his damndest to not laugh out loud.

The next day all the jars of picric acid were locked up somewhere where I couldn't find them .... wierd....

[July]

10. I did. Taking toilet paper from one dorm to my TP-less dorm.

I was an R.A., and the "student security" Frank Burns wannabe got very exercised about my TP transfer. The guy was fairly threatening (I'm 5'1", BTW), but I could not surrender those precious sheets, and he gave up, making my floor very happy. My claim to fame.

[flvegan]

11. All too realistic looking paintball gun

Just bought a shiny new semi-auto paintballer (circa 1989). Naturally, I took it to the wooded area next to my dorm parking lot, and made like Rambo. Within minutes, campus cops were there, guns drawn. After practically wetting my pants, dropping the gun and putting my hands on my head, I had the opportunity to explain my new toy.

2 months later, 10 friends and I, had a SWAT team descend on us while we held battle. The complaint came from someone(s) that saw people in camo going into the woods with assault weapons.

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. Yeah. Phil was kind of a perv.

Oh... you said pissed OFF.

Never mind.

[Surf Cowboy]

13. Roanoke College, circa February, 1993..

We filled a 40-gallon trashcan with cold water from the showers, then waited for the campus safety goons to enter the dorm below our 4th floor window. As they were working the key, we emptied all 40 gallons onto their heads at once. From 4 stories up.

Knocked them all to the ground. And what was better, it couldn't have been 20 degrees, so by the time they were able to get up, it had iced the sidewalk, their uniforms, hair and everything.

They didn't take it terribly well, but fuck 'em if they can't take a little practical joke.

[mdmc]

14. CSU Fort Collin, CO

We would do two things:
1] We collected pot seeds (there was tons of Mexican swag in the area) in to film holders, then toss all the seed into the gardens surrounding the court house and police station. We would also feed them to local birds at our park. Once police "discovered" a "million dollar" pot crop growing from the back of the courthouse to the end of a bike trail. It was all untamed, worthless swag (worth pennies, really). We laughed at the news coverage.

2} We would buy (actually make "Tims Tubes") plastic graffix bongs. We would use them for less than a week, and never change the water. Then we would "cap" the mouthpiece and throat (where the stem would go into) and then jam the bong through the two handles on the outside of the courthouse. These huge wooden doors would be difficult to open, and the person inside would have to exert enough force to break the bong in order to open the door! We would also stick crazy glue to the bottom of a bong and stick it on a cop car.

Good times!

[Jokerman]

15. Campus Cops saved my butt, TWICE!

First time was when I was riding my bike home from a bar. Nicely toasted, I rode into a curb and crashed. He could have busted me for public intoxication but instead, he loaded my bike into the trunk of his cruiser and gave me a ride home.

Second time I was nose to nose with a city cop yelling at the top of my lungs "you're fucked" (long story). About the time the city cop threatened to take me down town, two campus cops intervened and defused the situation.

[TheMightyFavog]

20. Campus cops transported me back form the health center.

See my crippled demopcrat thread.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

16. No, but they think I drive to fast...

...not that I've ever gotten a ticket. They just see me going twenty five and don't know if I'm going to be able to stop. It's funny. I love our campus police officers.
Duckie

[JimmyJazz]

17. I can't believe I'm posting this, but a friend and I once gave

new meaning to the word "touchdown" on our school's football field! It actually came up in a background check for my new job!

[ChickMagic]

18. At the campus where I work

a friend and I tried to scale the flags to get into Oktoberfest. A new recruit who has for the last 20 years has been refered to as "Checkpoint Charlie". He struts around like AWOL - the banty rooster walk. Lately it was pouring rain, so some of us crammed under cover as close to the smoking section as possible. Damned if Checkpoint Charley didn't try to arrest us! We were mostly done, so we left peacefully.

[Xithras]

19. Well, I did, but not in the way you're thinking

I work on a college campus, and I often spend time just wandering around campus taking photographs for my archives. About a year ago I was walking near one of our parking lots when a student, not quite paying attention, backed out of her spot and nearly backed into a campus police pickup. The officer jumped out, physically dragged her out of her car, and cuffed her. Minutes later there were three campus security officers standing around screaming into her crying face, including one that I clearly heard yell "(blurry)stupid bi***, you almost wrecked my fu**** truck!". The guy then bent her over the car and gave her a very thorough pat down while the other two sat there smirking at each other.

And the whole time I sat there photographing everything.

The other two campus police officers noticed me just as the first was finishing his "rub down", and came straight at me when they realized what I was doing. I flipped on the voice recorder on my PDA, and continued shooting until the first to reach me literally ripped the camera out of my hand. They then began to pelt me with questions about who I was, why I was on campus, and why I was taking pictures. I dodged those questions and instead asked them why they were hassling the poor girl, why she was dragged out of her car like a common criminal, and why they were practically sexually assaulting her in order to perform a search that is banned by campus policy (only female officers are allowed to pat down female detainees). They denied doing any of that, and I pointed out that I had photos of the entire thing on the camera in the officers hand. They then laid in on ME, telling me to put my hands on the car next to me, telling me that they were going to arrest me for trespassing (since I OBVIOUSLY looked too old to be a student), and that they were arresting me for being combative & disorderly and engaging in suspicious activities (taking photos of campus buildings).

This was the point that I finally identified myself and laid into them. You could literally see the color draining from their faces when they realized that they'd just handcuffed a senior staff member, and they couldn't get the cuffs back off quickly enough. I grabbed my cell phone, called the Director of Campus Security, and spend the next three minutes chewing these guys a new asshole right there in the parking lot. When the director showed up, the three guys got wise and decided to call me a liar. They claimed that none of it had happened and that I'd simply got combative when they questioned me about my presence in the parking lot. The guy who took my camera even had the audacity to deny that the camera ever existed, and recommended that I be arrested because I was "clearly nuts".

I don't think the director was buying it, but any doubts he may have had were erased when I picked up my PDA, opened the sound file, and began playing back the first part of the conversation to him.

Needless to say, I got my camera back and all three security officers were disciplined within the hour (two suspended without pay, the third fired outright). Last I heard about it, the student was talking about pressing assault charges against the guy who felt her up.

[davsand]

21. Fall 1979. Coming off the quad on the back of a motorcycle.

It had been a nice ride except for the fact that our quad was pedestrian only...

They stopped us in front of a college bar and everyone came running out to see what was going on. I don't think it helped much that we had several folks calling us by name and yelling encouragement that we could probably out run the "campus rent-a-cops."

They hauled us into the station and we stayed there while we worked our way thru our phone lists trying to find ANYONE to come get us. Finally, in a moment of inspiration, I called the bar where they had arrested us, and a couple of the folks were willing to come spring us from the tender care of the campus police.

They took us back to the bar and we drank for free the rest of the night. Then we got on his bike and went home.

My roommate never did forgive me for calling her that night. I called her at a particularly um...delicate... moment. She claimed later THAT was why she hung up on me when I called from jail...



Laura

[warrens]

22. Bastards got me busted by ATF

A long time ago and very far away.

[Nikia]

23. We outsmarted security

Being the authority obeying goodie two shoes that I am, I would have freaked out if I had actually had a confrontation with campus security. My husband and I stole rubble from our condemned science hall. While the security guard was on the other side of the building, my husband lifted me over the fence. I stole several pieces of the partially demolished building and then he helped me back. We just quietly walked away. We did this close to midnight.

[eyesroll]

24. No, but campus security liked to screw around with students

Once, I was babysitting someone who had just taken a whole bunch of acid. This person, a student, had a part-time job working dispatch for campus security, although she wasn't on duty that night. Still, we ran into her boss, who kept working references to acid and tripping into his conversation -- "hey, be careful walking down those stairs...you might TRIP!" "Hey, fall break is coming up...I was thinking of taking a TRIP, how about you..."

Another time, I got informed that the age of consent in Wisconsin was 18, but oral and anal contact were OK according to the law. (I was not quite 18, and had just started seeing someone who was 18 -- small campus, news traveled fast.)