Gather 'Round Kiddies - It's Matcom's Joke O' The Day!

[matcom]

*received via email*

A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
"Is Michael Jackson God?"


:bounce:

[Bunny]

1. Wheeeee!

Tell us another one!! Pretty please?? :)

[matcom]

3. Well, See These 3 Women Go To Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

[pagerbear]

4. Looks-ist pig!

What an offensive joke!

;-)

[matcom]

5. would you be happier with this MARRIED joke?

:D

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and noticed that her husband isn't in bed anymore.
She gets up and goes down to check out where he is. She finds him staring at the wall, tears in his eyes.
She asks: "what's going on, darling?"
After a while he answers: " Do you remember the first time we had sex in the back of my car and your father caught us?"
"Yes !" she answers. "Do you remember the fact that he putt the barrel of a gun in my mouth and said : You marry my daughter or you go to prison for at least 20 years !!!"
"Yes, I still remember" answers his wife, emotional by his romantic memories.
"Well" he says, " today I would have been free... "

[quisp]

2. nyuk nyuk nyuk