Best song with sexual innuendo.

[-..__...]

The kind of song that might (or would easily), escape the censors or your parents.

The Jack

AC/DC


She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the Jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She play'd 'em fast
She play'd 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the Jack"

Runner up...


The Vapors

Turning Japanese

I've got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of them all round my cell
I want the doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
(think so think so think so)
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

[Texasgal]

1. I want your sex

That you’ve never seen
Let’s make love
Put your trust in me

Don’t you listen to what they told you
Because I love you
Let me hold you
Oh

I’m not your brother
I’m not your father
Oh will you ever change your mind
I’m a gentle lover with a heart of gold
But baby you’ve been so unkind, oh

Come on
I want your sex
Come on, I want your sex
That’s right, all night
Oh, I want your sex
I want your ... sex

Sexy baby’s
Sexy body
Keeps me guessing
With a promise
I know we can come together
But the question is
Will we ever ever?

Sexy baby’s
(Sexy baby’s)
Sexy body
(Sexy body)
Keeps me guessing
(Keeps me guessing)
With a promise
I know we can come togheter
But the question is
Will we ever ever?

Together - you and me

[ironflange]

2. Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On

[mark414]

3. um, pretty much every Prince song

[sundog]

5. Little Nikki - though not exactly subtle innuendo

[KeepItReal]

20. "Joy In Repetition"...."Scandalous"....

:-)

Just some examples...

[redstateblues]

4. Pink Cadillac

[Wickerman]

6. It ain't rock and roll if ain't about sex

Rock and Roll - (noun) A Blues euphemism for Sexual Intercourse.

[freesqueeze]

7. Great Topic >>> Afternoon Delight

This one was cursed with a tune that was so incredibly syrupy that I heard it only at places where I couldn't leave or get my hands on the radio dial. This song sounds like something played under the closing credits of 'Barney' but the lyrics are nearly pornographic.

Afternood Delight by the Starland Vocal Band (so glad they're gone)

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!

[Jandar]

8. Lido Shuffle - Boz Skaggs n/t

[Kat45]

9. The Fire Down Below - Bob Seger

[Kat45]

10. Whole Lotta Love and The Lemon Song - Led Zeppelin

Stolen from old blues, and the old blues songs were champs at sexual innuendo.

[Tom Kitten]

11. Don't You Feel My Leg

the Maria Muldaur song, I'm sure it was a cover though...

[Big Kahuna]

12. Sorry.. I don't mince words :)

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-kahuna and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back

Amen.

[politicat]

13. probably not the censors, but the Sexy Data Tango....

Wonderful for Trek fans.

http://www.voltaire.net/music/BannedOnVulcan.html

Pcat

[ott]

14. "Big Bamboo" hands down

Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill

Oh, with the big big bamboo bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Well I asked my lady what should I do
To make her happy and make love true
She said: "The only thing that I want from you
Is a little, little piece of a big bamboo"

With the big big bamboo, bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Well, I gave my lady a sugar cane
Sweet up the sweets I did explain
She gave it back to my surprise
She liked the flavor but not the size

She wants the big big bamboo, bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Well, I gave my lady a coconut
She said: "I like it, it's OK but
The only thing that worries me
What good are the nuts without the tree?"

I want the big big bamboo, bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Now I gave my lady a banana plant
She said: "I like it, it's elegant
You must not let it go to waste
It's much too soft to suit my taste"

I want the big big bamboo, bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Now I met a Chinese mongool Dig Hung Do
He got married, went to Mexico
His wife divorced him very quick
She wants bamboo and not chopstick

It is the big big bamboo, bamboo
O la la la la la la la la la
Working for the Yankee dollar

Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill
Money in the hand is the Yankee dollar bill

[mitchtv]

15. "Lola", the Kinks

nt

[never cry wolf]

16. Camarillo Brillo, Zappa

She had that
Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head,
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red
She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo
She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(I couldn't come in right then . . . )
And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She stripped away
Her rancid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(actually, I was very busy then)
And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
(Is that a real poncho . . . I mean
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Hmmm . . . no foolin' . . . )

[nutsnberries]

17. the most recent one i've listened to - Ball and Biscuit

White Stripes

It's quite possible that I'm your third man girl
But it's a fact that I'm the seventh son
And right now you could care less about me
But soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done

Let's have a ball and a biscuit sugar
And take our sweet little time about it
Let's have a ball and a biscuit sugar
And take our sweet little time about it
Tell everyone in the place to just get out
We'll get clean together
And I'll find me a soapbox where I can shout it

Read it in the newspaper
Ask your girlfriends and see if they know
That my strength is ten fold woman
And I'll let you see if you want to before you go

It's quite possible that I'm your third man girl
But it's a fact that I'm the seventh son
It was the other two which made me your third
But it was my mother who made me the seventh son
And right now you could care less about me
But soon enough you will care by the time Im done

[CO Liberal]

18. "Ariel" by Dean Friedman

It was a modest hit in teh NY Area back in the Late '70s/Early '80s - I don't know how far it spread from there, but I've always liked it. - Wayne

* * * * *

Ariel

(Dean Friedman)

Way on the other side of the Hudson
Deep in the bosom of suburbia,
I met a young girl, she sang mighty fine,
Tears on My Pillow and Ave Maria.

Standing by the waterfall in Paramas Park,
She was working for the Friends of B-A-I.
She was collecting quarters in a paper cup,
She was looking for change, and so was I.

Ariel, (Ar-ar-ari-el) Ariel.

Her name was Ariel, she was a Jewish girl,
She wrote her number on the back of my hand.
I called her up, I was all out of breath,
I said, Come hear me play in my rock and roll band.

I took a shower and I put on my best blue jeans,
I picked her up in my new VW van.
She wore a peasant blouse with nothing underneath,
I said, Hi, and she said, Yeah, I guess I am.

Ariel, (Ar-ar-ari-el) Ariel.

We had a little time, we were real hungry,
We went to Dairy Queen for something to eat.
She had some onion rings, she had a pickle,
She forgot to tell me that she didn't eat meat.

I had a gig at the American Legion Hall,
It was a dance for the Volunteer Ambulance Corp.
She was sitting in a corner against the wall,
She would smile, and I melted all over the floor.

Ariel, (Ar-ar-ari-el) Ariel.

I took her home with me, we watched some T.V.,
Annette Funnicello and some guy going steady.
I started fooling around with the vertical hold,
We got the munchies and I made some spaghetti.

We sat and we talked into the night,
While channel 2 was signing off the air.
I found the softness of her mouth,
We made love to bombs bursting in air.
Ariel, (Ar-ar-ari-el) Ariel.

Ariel, (Ar-ar-ari-el) Ariel.

http://users.cis.net/sammy/ariel.htm

[nutsnberries]

19. She Bop ~ Cyndi Lauper

[shingashong]

21. Not a GOOD song but hello! You've Got It (The Right Stuff)

by NKOTB!!!

"First time was a great time
Second time was a blast
Third time I fell in love
Now I hope it lasts"

Uhhh yeah!

[KT2000]

22. Everything by Led Zepplin

they are still great!

[BrewerJohn]

23. Kiss That Frog - Peter Gabriel

Jump in the water....

Sweet little princess, let me introduce his frogness
You alone can get him singing,
He's all puffed up, wanna be your king

Oh you can do it, c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon
Lady kiss that frog

Splash, dash, heard your call,
Bring you back your golden ball
He's gonna dive down in the deep end
He's gonna be just like your best friend

So what's one little kiss, one tiny little touch?
Aah, he's wanting it so much

I swear that this is royal blood, running through my skin
Oh, can you see the state I'm in

Kiss it better, kiss it better

Get it into your head
He's living with you he sleeps in your bed
Can't you hear beyond the croaking
Don't you know that I'm not joking

Aah, you think you won't, I think you will
Don't you know that this tongue can kill

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Lady kiss that frog

Let him sit beside you, eat right off your plate
You don't have to be afraid, there's nothing here to hate
Princess, you might like it, if you lowered your defence
Kiss that frog, and you will get your prince...

Jump in the water, c'mon baby jump in with me
Jump in the water, c'mon baby get wet, get wet, get wet
Kiss that frog, lady kiss that frog
Get wet, get wet