Do you carry herpes simplex?

[ott]

Poll question: Do you carry herpes simplex?

I'm recently without my genital HSV donor. We had planned on getting married but that's not happening.

So, I'm dealing with that and facing the intimidation of eventually looking for another mate with my new virus.

I'm feeling very alone right now.

[Dookus]

1. I'm sorry you're dealing with that

I'm fortunate in that I do not have herpes, but I know plenty of people who do, and while it's an inconvience, it is not seriously life-altering for them.

The current medications available make outbreaks rare and mild, and the hardest part is the emotional difficulty of telling new partners.

Please don't feel too bad - the situation you're in is not rare, and a lot of people have been where you are. Hang in there.

[DenverDem]

2. Sorry, dude. My wife and I couldn't figure out who had it first.

Luckily we were in love and it lasted and the issue is moot, now, 15 years later.

[bahrbearian]

3. A lot of people never transmit the virus

it will stay dormant for years. My wife has it I don't 10 years together. Stay healthy. I figure it's like the flu. I don't get it.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[jus_the_facts]

5. If you had the chicken pox you carry a herpes simplex.....

....lays dormant and comes back as shingles in adulthood....same virus different strain.

Sorry you feel so alone...have a friend that just had a baby with her boyfriend of several years....he STILL doesn't know she has genital herpes...she's decided not to tell him she has it....sure hope for that baby's sake he takes it well when he eventually finds out she does in fact have it.....the statistics say that 1 in every 6 people have genital herpes now...so you should have no problem findin' another mate....don't worry about it....just live your life honestly. :hug:

[MsConduct]

11. Not for nothin', but.....

Herpes zoster is the chicken pox virus that causes shingles. Herpes simplex is the virus that affects the mouth and nether regions. I only know this because I have zoster.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001324.htm explains simplex.


Peace

[Syncronaut Seven]

6. No big deal

I told my future partners beforehand & to my surprise it didn't put any potentials off.

Been married 15 years now, and in the 20 years since I caught it at a company christmas party, I haven't transmitted it to anyone.

Honesty is the best policy.

[TexasBushwhacker]

9. I agree

I got it in '81 from my last college boyfriend. That was pre-AIDS and it was a BIG DEAL. It was even on the cover of Time magazine in big red letters. I felt like a leper and I spent most of my 20's celibate. What a fucking waste! I finally decided to forgive myself and try dating again. I've always told my boyfriends up front (usually after our first big make out session) and I haven't had a single guy say "See ya" because of it. I've never given it to anyone and now, when I'm in a relationship, I take Valtrex and I don't have outbreaks at all. I still insist on condoms, but that's just the smart thing these days for lots of reasons and I don't date stupid guys.

[bratcatinok]

7. Ex-husband brought it home to me when I was

5 months pregnant. My ob-gyn didn't tell me what it was until much later because I was pregnant. Don't know about now but back 28 years ago when I was pregnant they recommended a c-section for women who had genital herpes.

After I divorced my ex, I felt 'dirty' because I had genital herpes. I too felt intimidated about telling any potential sex partner I had herpes. It took awhile before I was willing to have sex with anyone simply because I didn't want to disclose I had herpes.

In the 25 years since I divorced my ex, I've had a few sexual partners and not one has ever made any type of derogatory remark to me or about me when I told them. None of them had herpes and I never infected them either. I learned to watch for that tingling sensation that would signal an attack and I'd let my partner know what was going on.

When I first had outbreaks, I'd have them around the time I had my period almost every month. Over the years the outbreaks have lessened considerably, especially since I entered menopause. It's been over a year since I've had an episode and I've never taken any of the medication.

Don't be intimidated because you have herpes. The way I learned to think of it was I had a physical problem and I didn't want to be involved with anyone who didn't understand my problem.

[ott]

8. Thank you all!

Nice to know you can lurk forever and still get support when needed.

It helps to hear all of this. I appreciate the comments.

DU rocks!

[ott]

10. Saving this from the archives for one more cycle

A kick from page 20.

:kick:

[Nikia]

12. I thought 90% of adults had oral herpes

I read this is a health book so I am suprised so many Duers say they don't have it. I somehow caught that disease when I was a child and gave it to my husband, who had never had a cold sore in his life until after we had been dating. In my teen years, I got outbreaks of cold sores almost every month. Now I only get them a couple times per year.

[ott]

13. A lot are asymptomatic and don't know it

I have oral HSV 1 but have never had a serious outbreak... only a slight redness around the corners of my mouth for a day or so every few years. I wouldn't know it unless I knew what I was looking for and I tested positive for it. For the longest time I thought it was mild acne.

I've read around 80% have oral, 1/4 women have genital, and 1/5 men have genital.