I lost a friend tonight . Ask me anything .

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

Ok so I had this guy friend that I had been friends with for over a year almost . This evening and for over the past month he had been coming onto me romantically and I repeatedly told him to back off and that I was not interested . Actually I have told him over and over again that I am not interested in him in that kind of way . I told him " So you want me to try to force myself to have feelings that I do not have ? That is not fair to you or me " . So he calls me a bitch , whore , slut and other words for a female and actually turned over plants in my yard while I was gone for a couple of hours . I don't know why I feel so bad about it , I won't let it bring me down but if he really wanted to be my friend , should'nt he want to be around me regardless if we were dating or what . I told him that I consider him a good friend no matter what , and he flipped out . Is there a full moon or something . Sad to see him go but I should just kick him to the curb or what should I do . Craziness .

[Maddy McCall]

1. Aren't you relieved to be out of such a sick relationship?

The guy obviously has problems. Aren't you glad he's no longer in your life?

Are you afraid of stalking?

Protect yourself.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. No I am not afraid of stalking , thank Goodness .

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

2. Yes, there is a full moon

But, seriously, this guy sounds dangerous.

[soothsayer]

3. Yep, full moon at 3:38 Tues morning! just a few hours

Kick him to the curb. He's troubled.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. I can always tell when a full moon is coming .

It always comes with rain and some crazy issues like this .

[murielm99]

4. This person is not your friend.

He called you names, and destroyed your property. He could get more aggressive that that if you reject him again.

Cut him loose.

[Lefta Dissenter]

5. Good riddance

anyone who would call you such names and violate your personal property is NOT someone you want involved in your life - as a friend OR a boyfriend.

Good thing it didn't go any farther!

[SeekingTruth]

6. Yes, take care of yourself, but on a lighter note....

is his name Bill O'Reilly? Sounds like something he would do....

take care...

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

8. Anyone who would call you foul names and trash your property

Isn't a good friend anymore. If you forgive his behavior and give him a pass, he will take it as a sign of romantic interest and will think you're playing with him. He is too angry to trust. Please cut him loose and be prepared to take out a restraining order to protect yourself if he shows any more signs of aggression. Good luck, and take care of yourself.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. I don't know why I have such bad luck with guys ...

but I will be fine . My dog is on the porch and he will bite if need be . I did not forgive his behavior . I told him never to call me again if he acts like that . I am just shocked .

[Whoa_Nelly]

17. I used to think I had "bad luck" with guys

then realized after a very close call that it was me who was denying the early red flags.
Good luck in the future..and be honest about the signs/red flags....saves a whole lot of valuable time that could be spent in much happier, if even alone, moments O8)

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

20. Some guys can accept being just friends, and others can't

What experience has taught me is that if someone tells me he wants more than friendship, and I'm not prepared to offer that, I can't meet him under circumstances that might suggest I want intimacy. We can have lunch at a restaurant, we can see each other with other people around, but we can't be alone together. Anything else, and he'll interpret my actions the wrong way.

And I know that when the tables have been turned, I have hung onto hope and read things into things he says and does that he never intended. It's just the way we're made.

I'm glad you're safe. :)

[JohnKleeb]

10. Sorry to hear about that umm

Answer my thread if and your question is right there.

[vajraroshana]

12. are y'all 16?

If not, and even then, this sounds like an immature obsessive abusive jerk.

I don't know why you feel badly about it either.

Yes, tomorrow is a full moon.

That's not his excuse though. If he's behaving this irrationally and violently then you shouldn't feel the least bit sad about seeing his sorry ass disappear from your life. Don't send him any mixed signals -- he's not your friend after saying the things he said and doing the things he did.

just my couple of pennies...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

13. nope 23 , 24

and I am the 24 year old . Thanks for your pennies . I feel ugh rich .

This has nothing to do with age . People act like this at all ages ...

[vajraroshana]

29. sorry if I sounded insensitive...

But this guy sounds like a class-A jerk...

getting distance from him seems like good advice...

best wishes.

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. Don't hold a pity party

You have to ASK or even give thought to what to do? The guy showed you his ass, showed he has no respect for you, and in more ways than one let you know that his feelings for you are really all about him, not you.

Ditch, him, honey....no room for discussion or consideration if he tries to come back to you in any way that may resemble any type of a relationship...he ain't your friend.

Also, keep in mind two things:
1) The fact that he could become so aggressive in his verbal abuse toward you is a HUGE red flag that he may be a very abusive person...and trust me on this one...verbal and emotional abuse is a very damaging act, and can be an indicator of possible escaltion to future physical abuse.
2) IF you decide to "give him a second chance", then perhaps you might want to ask yourself if you disrespect yourself as much as he has shown such disrespect already toward you...and should he contact you after this (and dollars to donuts says he will), and you ALLOW him to have any conversation with you, then I guess you will have the answer to the question.

Best advice: Move through it, live your life each day until this creep is in the past, and don't ever let another person ever treat you this way.

...been there...done that...took many lessons, but now will never allow anything even close to thatin my life ever again.

Best Wishes
O8)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

16. merci

[Whoa_Nelly]

23. PS re: turning over plants

Call and report it to the police. It may seem trivial, but it may not be so trivial should he seek more revenge toward you. And, it's better to have it reported. So, if you already cleaned that all up, then the very next time he calls or shows up, call the police AND take pics of any destruction he causes. Am I being paranoid? Maybe... But, after rereading your original post, this guy has the hallmarks of being obssesive and possessive. You don't want him at your door, call 911...he is destructive on your property call the cops and file a complaint. If it's not on record with your local law enforcement agency, and the guy should do something that actually harms YOU, you will have little to refer to and small credibility because you didn't take action right from the start of this. (He may think you don't have any rights becasue of "WHAT YOU DID TO HIM!", but, hey....he's wrong.)

A bully is a bully as long as it's allowed. Bad behavior is no secret. Unfortunately, some bullies just keep on comin' no matter what, but at least you will ahve put into action something to bring a stop to it. Bad behavior is no secret, and should never be kept as such.
Thoughts are with you tonight. O8)

on edit: typos...hard time seeing tonight...contact lens tore a cornea last night...yuck

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

26. Thanks , I know the police is tired of hearing from me .

But I will follow your advice .

[Whoa_Nelly]

31. Screw the cops

it's their job, and it's about you, dearheart...not them :-)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

32. Already called . I am alright :)

Thanks DUers :)

[HEyHEY]

15. HEY! You don't have to spew our personal business on DU, okay?

jeez

[SeekingTruth]

19. HeyHey.....have a heart...

...nt

[HEyHEY]

22. I am

It's a lightheart!
I was kidding with her, possibly trying to make her have a giggle

[neebob]

18. Be glad you weren't interested in that kind of way

because you'd probably be in an abusive relationship and been called every name in the book by now. Kick him to the curb. Trust me on this.

[Nightowl_2004]

21. I understand fully

It's too bad he didn't want to salvage a frienship, If he liked you that much you think he'd want to stick around (dating or not.)

I am friends with a girl who I I have feelings for. I don't think she realizes it and even if she did, I wouldn't want to jeopardize the ability for me to hang out with her and enjoy being in her presence. Then again, maybe he felt that if he couldn't date you, He didn't want to have to be around you and think about something that he can't have all the time. All together, It's a thoroughly Complicated situation. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

[Bossy Monkey]

24. No, you found out someone you thought was your friend is a psycholoser

I'm only glad you found out now rather than later.

[Whoa_Nelly]

25. Good call, undisclosedlocation

:toast:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

27. I am glad too . Cool word , psycholoser .

I think I am more in " shock " than anything , thanks for your response .

[HEyHEY]

28. It took me a second to get that word

I thought it was real one for a second :dunce:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

30. Having fun listening to Led Zepellin are'nt we ?

[HEyHEY]

33. It's actually Steve Miller now

Do do do do do do ..... swatting fly s all night looong

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

34. LOL n/t

[sffreeways]

35. Ahhh ! Get rid of him forever !

Anyone that won't except no for an answer and then gets aggressive is dangerous. Very dangerous and not worth your time at all.

I hope for your sake it doesn't get anymore nasty than what you have described. Be very careful and if there is any further retaliation get a damn restraining order right away. Don't wait or mess around. I always tell women this is serious stuff.